Social Question

xRIPxTHEREVx's avatar

Was breaking the ties with my friends a good idea?

Asked by xRIPxTHEREVx (378points) May 19th, 2010

So, a few days ago, I decided that it was time for me to let go of some long time friends of mine that were holding me back. We were all kind of a clique, but they always seemed to exclude me from so many things. I know when one of them aren’t around, the other two will talk about them incessantly. They have nasty, dirty humor, which I take offense to, and they don’t respect my opinions at all. They want me to sneak out behind my parents backs when I’m grounded or not allowed to go to a certain place with them. Though we’ve had some good times together, I feel that the relationship is really just not healthy for me. I tried to quietly disband from them, but they went and made it a scene and aren’t taking it well. They’re acting like children. I have no problem talking to them, but now they completely avoid me. When I walk in a room, they all leave. Typical high school drama. What do you think? Of them? Was this a good idea?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

21 Answers

poofandmook's avatar

There is never any good reason to stay around people that make you feel bad, in any way. And if they have drama, so what? You don’t need to take part in it, and if they’re going to be that childish, they’re not worth your time. You’re obviously more mature than they are, and it sounds like you’ll have no trouble finding friends that you can be and feel positive with.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

It was the best decision you could make. Do not look back, don’t regret it. People who talk trash about their friends, encourage you to defy your parent’s rules (as opposed to taking the punishment and getting it over with) and who don’t respect your opinions aren’t friends. They are just people you hang out with, and inertia keeps you with.

You may be spending more time by yourself than you’d like this summer, but use it to meet new people in new places. Only time time and distance will give you the chance to be yourself, and let others see you as you really are.

john65pennington's avatar

Yes. this shows maturity on your part and not on theirs. i gave this same advice to my son, after he graduated high school. the friends he was hanging around with were holding him back from his potential in life. he enrolled in Belmont College, transferred to Vanderbilt, then graduated with an Associates Degree from San Diego State University. he now lacks one year for his Masters.

You are making the right choice. its your life and what you do with it is entirely up to you.

Good for you.

MissA's avatar

Be as nice and gracious as possible and continue to do the things you know to be right and honorable. But, you knew that. You’ll be fine.

Blackberry's avatar

Yes it was a good idea.

perspicacious's avatar

Sounds like it was a good idea.

CrazyRedHead's avatar

Seems like you’re far more mature than them and don’t need that kind of immature drama in your life. Definitely a good idea!

filmfann's avatar

Ya, sounds like high school. Sounds like you are maturing, and they aren’t.
Friends should be nurturing, and this group isn’t. I had a similar experience, and waited far too long to dump the dead weight. You will be better off.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I think you’re smart…and better off without them ;)

marinelife's avatar

It sounds as though you made the right decision. They may be avoiding you, because they are embarrassed by their behavior. When it came right down to it, you left them.

It is normal that you would feel hurt by their refusal to speak to you. But it does exemplify why you broke up with them in the first place. Work on making new, healthier friendships.

wonderingwhy's avatar

You’ve got to be your own person. Judging from what you’ve said they weren’t much in the way of friends – at least in the sense of putting your interests ahead of their own, particularly when doing otherwise could be especially detrimental to you. Good call on moving on!

Cruiser's avatar

I’d say you are showing a bit of maturity over and above what your friends are able to. Leave the high drama behind and find people who operate more at your game level.

CMaz's avatar

“friends of mine that were holding me back”

Good enough reason.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

You should always relieve yourself of people that give you negative energy.

Silhouette's avatar

I don’t think any less of them today than I did yesterday. You grew apart, your lives are going in different directions, no one to blame for this, it happens.

EmoGirlRoflx's avatar

It’ a good thing that they are avoiding you. You sound too mature and grown up to be hanging around with children. You can always make new friends, better ones. You can find new friends by taking up some after school activities. If you like sports you could join a sports club? If anything in your school interests you, maybe chess club, join it.
Or maybe there’s someone in your school who you think would be a good friend to you? Just go and say hi. There’s lots of opportunities in school to find new friends.
Good luck :)

Disc2021's avatar

Well it sounds like it was a great idea by what you described. It sounds like they’re too caught up with being too cool for school – and you just want genuine friends you could trust and rely on. Good call.

jeneatha's avatar

i am in this same situation. if you feel like they are a bad influence and is holding you back then yes this a good idea. maybe you dont wan to hear this but if they were true friends they wouldnt try and peer pressure you into sneaking out. just ignore them and let them cool down and one by one try and talk to them about it and tell them why you distanced yourself but dont be mean about it or take offence to what they say when you tell them. remember they will be upset, so let them yell a little.

jazmina88's avatar

smart move, babe….Party on

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Good move and put up with their reactions until you make new and more positive friends. If anyone asks what all the drama is about then say you all broke up and they’re not taking it well.

Ltryptophan's avatar

Lean on me…when your not strong…and I’ll be your friend…I’ll help you carrion… hehe

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther