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GrumpyGram's avatar

Do You Get Depressed When Someone You Once Knew Has Died?

Asked by GrumpyGram (822points) May 19th, 2010

I was scanning the internet today (as usual) and looked up some names of people I knew about thirteen years ago and some had died. I felt a loss , a sadness, even though we were never at all close. Have you felt like this? Or am I overreacting?

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12 Answers

janbb's avatar

Sure – it’s a reminder of your own mortality.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I have always been a bit hypersensitive to loss. I have cried at the funerals of people that I’ve never even met. I have also been known to cry, or at the very least feel that deep sadness, if someone that I only knew marginally well has passed away. For me the issue is that I feel so badly for those who ARE closest to the deceased that it just overwhelms me. Such is the case of funerals where I didn’t personally know the person who had passed away. I see the friends and family that are so distraught over their own loss that it makes ME sad.
Having said that, sometimes it’s a great attribute. I have worked with hospice for 4 years, and the most common thing that I hear from families is that my ability to connect with them and with their loved one is what makes me so good at what I do. I’m often told by people around me that it’s an overreaction, but I disagree. I think that it’s important to remember that someone close to the deceased is grieving, and feeling for their sadness only shows a respect for life and love.
Of course, death is also very final. It’s easy to wonder “what if?” What if I had spoken to that person now? What if we had become very close? What if things had been different? Those questions can be nagging sometimes when you realize the time has passed for it to be possible.

GrumpyGram's avatar

@TheOnlyNeffie Fantastic response. This is Crazy but I cry watching WEDDINGS ON TELEVISION. Even if they’re all ACTORS. LOL ! Seriously, I sometimes wish the person who died had been closer to me. To some, I was just another ship passing in the night but I’m still sad. Empathy?

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@GrumpyGram , don’t get me started on TV/movies. My husband refuses to let me watch certain shows (cough..Extreme Makeover:Home Edition..cough) because I cry EVERY time. lol. Definitely, I think that some people are naturally more empathetic than others. I don’t think it’s necessarily good or bad in and of itself, but both sides certainly come with pros and cons.

wonderingwhy's avatar

Only if I’m close to them. In those cases it’s sad but not depressing. Though I’ve yet to lose, to death, someone whom I love. With those I’m not close to, it has no real effect aside from, perhaps, a bit of reminiscing. For strangers or acquaintances, I hardly even notice.

RedPowerLady's avatar

Grief is interesting. You can experience it for any number of reasons and at any time after a loss. It can be quick or it can be brutal. It is all normal and most of the time it is healthy. Let yourself have your grief whatever the reason.

squidcake's avatar

I once wept for hours over the loss of a boy I only knew through the internet.
Grief is natural and normal.
We mourn beloved celebrities even if we never met them.
So it makes sense to mourn people you actually knew it person even if you were never close.

perspicacious's avatar

This is something that evokes sorrow or sadness. These are normal emotions. Don’t think normal emotions are the same thing as depression. Be sure you know what depression is before you even use the word.

No. The death of someone I “once knew” would not cause me to be depressed.

jazmina88's avatar

yes…...or a moment of blessing for their life.

partyparty's avatar

I suppose you will have memories of that person, and these could be good or bad, but will stir emotions within you.
If they were just someone I knew, then I think my feelings would be fleeting, but I wouldn’t feel any great sense of loss.

GrumpyGram's avatar

@partyparty That’s how I am feeling . I read the Cancer Story yesterday his wife (who I met twice) had written , was really sad but today I feel ok with it. Maybe part of it was feeling sorry for Her. I recall over twenty yrs ago she didn’t seem to want him. He had just dumped his second wife who I knew fairly well and he had divorced the mother of his children at some point before That.
He met this much younger woman but she rebuffed him and next thing I heard she had married him. Fast forward twenty years and he died @ 77 so she’s probably in her mid-sixties now and sounded extremely sad as she discussed his cancer journey.

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