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AmWiser's avatar

If you could have Trust or Love, which would you choose?

Asked by AmWiser (14932points) May 20th, 2010

You can have only one of the following: trust or love? Which would you choose and why?

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9 Answers

chyna's avatar

Trust. You can’t have love without trust.

shego's avatar

That’s an interesting question. I guess I would have to go with love, because I couldn’t just trust somebody and say that I don’t love them.
@chyna Well said.

Spudsinc's avatar

Trust. Love is not love without trust!

ParaParaYukiko's avatar

@chyna got it. Love without trust is doomed to fail. I can lust for someone I don’t trust, but I don’t think I could ever love them.

So, basically: trust. It’s a form of love in itself, isn’t it?

Jeruba's avatar

I don’t believe you can separate them.

Wait—I’m wrong. That was a gut response, but on further examination I don’t think it’s true. If you have ever had a child (or other beloved person) go through a phase where he is sneaking around, stealing from your purse, lying to you, etc., you have known what it is to love someone you can’t trust. The same if you have ever had an unfaithful partner.

Likewise, now that I think about it, if you have put yourself in the hands of a doctor or followed a competent leader, you have probably trusted someone whom you wouldn’t say you loved.

So yes, you can separate them.

Now, then, @AmWiser: are you asking if I would rather love someone or trust the person, or are you asking if I would rather BE loved or BE trusted?

Fernspider's avatar

Trust for me as well. Makes me feel safe. Love is beautiful but if I couldn’t trust someone that I loved, it would do my head in.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Huh? Trust is a part of Love. Without it there would be none. But that’s only on the giving side. You can’t offer Love without being trustworthy. But you can indeed be loved without being trustworthy. But you can’t be loved by one who is untrustworthy to you. Huh?

Just trust me… You’ll love it.

ParaParaYukiko's avatar

@Jeruba Very good point! In the case of a child, that would be more like unconditional love, when you can’t exactly trust the person to do the right thing. And it’s certainly true that you can love a friend but still not completely trust them in certain ways. That could even apply to pets, I’d say. I certainly don’t trust my cats enough to leave the pantry open…

I think most of us were talking about romantic love, which generally starts with trust (I would hope so, anyway!). Thank you for reminding us that there are many, many kinds of love! :)

Jeruba's avatar

@ParaParaYukiko, yes, I realized that everyone was talking about romantic love. But the question doesn’t say that, and that’s why I caught myself and took the broader view. (Some love is unconditional—that was precisely my point.)

Also the question doesn’t say whether it is speaking of loving or being loved, trusting or being trusted. I don’t see how we can give a clear answer without knowing that.

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