Social Question

Draconess25's avatar

What do people have against porn?

Asked by Draconess25 (4448points) May 20th, 2010

Here’s what I get from most people:
Me: “What’s wrong with teens watching porn?”
People: “Because it’s innapropriate.”
Me: “Why?”
People: “Because it shows sex.”

I understand that it might give them ideas, but would they rather their kids be out actually doing that stuff? Porn might actually satisfy their cravings before they get too desperate & have sex.

Background:
My girlfriend Ellie & I got caught writing porn when we were freshmen. Her parents forbid her from talking to me or Rachel (who was uninvolved), & they still hate us over 5 years later.

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54 Answers

shego's avatar

I guess it’s because parents don’t want their children growing up too fast. That is all I can personally think of. Besides, there’s going to be a time in any teens life when they find their parents stash, so…..

Draconess25's avatar

@shego Heh, I wish my parents had a stash back then! I wouldn’t have wasted time drawing my own….

shego's avatar

Lol my parents were very open about sex so I didn’t have as many questions as many of my friends did. And, at times, it wasn’t cool. Many of my friends parents didn’t like my mom because she was so open about it. Plus, there is nothing more embarrassing than seeing Puppetry of the Penis with your mom. Yeah, it was funny, but I wouldn’t reccomend seeing it with parents.

AmWiser's avatar

Since Porn has no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire (google dictionary) people may feel it too taboo and adult oriented for teens.

RedPowerLady's avatar

Believe it or not I took a college class on this subject.
Studies have shown that porn negatively shapes our image of sex and does tend to lead to more sex crimes or rather feelings that women “want” rough sex or “want” sex even when they say no.

syz's avatar

I would be concerned that porn would give a teen a highly skewed impression of what sex is like. Life is not like porn, and is certainly nothing to aspire to. Besides, teens are so oversexed anyway (all of those seething hormones), porn is like throwing gasoline on a fire – unnecessary, and possibly dangerous.

eden2eve's avatar

@RedPowerLady
GA! I agree completely!

Also, I think that teenage people have plenty of opportunities to think about and and seek to understand their sexuality, and that offering or encouraging porn can fixate them at formative ages where they should be focusing on many other aspects of their development as well.

And I’d hazard a guess that if they are reading about it, they are that much more likely to DO it! Hey… that’s what people use it for, to stimulate themselves. Stimulated people are certainly more likely to be expressing their sexuality.

It’s illegal to use teenagers in pornography, and I think it’s wise to discourage them from participating as voyeurs as well. They have many years for that outlet, when they have the maturity to process it wisely. Not saying we can prevent access to it, but I don’t think it should be deemed as acceptable among teenagers.

DominicX's avatar

I never talked about porn with my parents. And I mean never. It was never brought up, although they would’ve been willing to talk about it if I had brought it up. I did look at it every now and then when I was a teen. I had my own computer, my parents never went on my computer, I had time to look at porn. I don’t know if it’s more of an issue with heterosexual porn, but all I ever looked at was gay porn and I don’t think I have any skewed ideas about sex; what my boyfriend and I do is pretty mild compared to what I’ve seen in porn and I have no desire for otherwise. In fact, looking at porn started out as just a way of confirming my sexuality that I was beginning to figure out at the time I first looked at porn (which must have been around age 14).

It certainly isn’t guaranteed that just because a teen looks at porn that that will skew their views of sex (it seems most of the replies saying that are aiming this at teenage guys, but girls look at porn as well). Furthermore, as much as people want to deny it, teenagers are sexual beings and this is a time when they want to experiment and begin to masturbate. Porn is a common thing to masturbate to for teenagers who are just discovering it. They’re going to find an outlet for sexual desires somewhere.

RedPowerLady's avatar

@DominicX You are right it doesn’t guarantee anything. But the studies show that it is statistically significant.

Part of the problem is that masturbating to it reinforces the idea that it is okay. Because you are releasing a positive stimulus in your brain that is associated with what is on the video. And what is on the video rarely mimics real sexual experiences. This is about porn in general. I don’t know if studies separated gay porn vs. heterosexual porn. I assume it is all the same.

Haleth's avatar

“Since Porn has no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire (google dictionary) people may feel it too taboo and adult oriented for teens.”

@Draconess25 Is this what you’re talking about, or do you mean erotica? I found it defined as “literature or art intended to arouse sexual desire.” There’s a whole grey area of works that have artistic or literary merit but are also sexual; it’s not just an either/ or scenario.

What you and your friend were doing- writing your own erotica- seems a lot healthier than surfing online for porn. I mean, it’s something that you created, so how can it be a bad influence on you? There’s a huge difference between that and some of the stuff we get from porn, like unrealistic body image and women being degraded. There are starting to be women directors out there like Candida Royalle and Tristan Taormino. They’re aiming to change the image of women in porn and make films that women would want to watch. Most erotica is also written by women.

It sounds like your friend’s parents freaked out because they couldn’t handle the idea of their daughter doing anything sexual, even if it was something safe and healthy like writing a story with friends. To them, you and the other girl were corrupting their daughter. Actually, I think what you guys did was a great idea, and if I had a daughter who was interested in sex, I’d definitely encourage that as an outlet. Writing/ drawing your own means that you’re 100% in charge of the content, and you can’t come across anything worse than what’s already in your own mind. There’s so much bad porn out there made by men. Shaping the plot of a story yourself allows you to be in control of the experience, which is pretty empowering.

ParaParaYukiko's avatar

I oppose porn because it promotes hate and violence towards women. Most porn (erotica doesn’t count, erotica usually includes romance) has no element of emotional connection between the two (or more) people involved. It’s incredibly masochistic and shows sex as something impersonal and purely physical, instead of an emotional connection between individuals.

Some of the more violent porn out there (and a lot of Japanese hentai – tentacle porn, anyone?) definitely show a profound fear and hatred of women… Why else would you put a woman through such torturous things? I mean, I know some people are into that, but they’re in the very small minority.

I know one can argue that there’s just as much sex in today’s TV and movies. It’s true, and I’m not crazy about that either. One could argue that porn isn’t that much different, and in ways that would be correct, as a lot of stuff advertising sex out there is just as bad, albeit a bit more subtle.

If you’re really interested in getting more information about pornography, read the book Getting Off by Robert Jenson. Once you get past his kinda self-absorbed, “I’m-the-only-male-feminist” attitude, there’s some really good information in there.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

I don’t really have anything against porn. I’m against lies.

Porn is a lie.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

My issue with porn is that it shows a warped view of reality. I do not think it is healthy for anyone, because it distorts a person’s expectations, and their idea of the value of sex in a relationship. I think sex should only ever be part of a stable relationship, since it is an expression of love. Porn shows sex as a barbaric urge, often between total strangers, and rob it of the status it should hold in a relationship.

DominicX's avatar

Am I the only person who mostly looks at porn in the form of still images of nude guys? Do people hate that as much?

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

@DominicX I do. It is still a distortion of reality, and I think would negatively impact your real life relationships.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

To get beyond the whole “all those people against teens seeing porn are just conservative” thing, Jason Alexander once said this:

“My [11-year-old] son wants to know, “Why can’t I go to any website? What is on there that is so horrible that I’m going to see?” and I say, “Look, I don’t have a problem with you seeing nudity. ... My wife’s a painter. She paints naked people, we got naked people all over the house. There’s no problem with nudity. … There is some sexuality, and God knows, when you’re old enough, whatever you want to do with a willing partner is great, nothing is wrong. But, there is some sexuality that is a little dark, and unless you’ve had a first person experience of what we would consider to be wholesome sexuality, the exposure to this stuff can be damaging to someone who’s impressionable. And these young teens are impressionable.”

DominicX's avatar

@FireMadeFlesh

Well, I haven’t noticed any negative impact on my relationship with my boyfriend thus far. He, too, has looked at very similar porn to what I have looked at.

Also, please explain how a photo of a naked person is a “distortion of reality” because I am really not following you there.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@DominicX If I may jump in on @FireMadeFlesh‘s point, the twisted reality is this:

Porn: Boobs that are the size and shape of cantaloupes
Reality: Almost never the size, never, ever the shape of cantaloupes

Porn: No cellulite, blemishes, awkward positions, rolls of fat, extra hair due to photoshop/airbrushing
Reality: Cellulite. Blemishes. Awkward positions. Rolls of fat. Extra hair.

Porn: Bleached buttholes
Reality: Unbleached buttholes

Porn: Women can’t get enough of anal
Reality: Women find that they have the same view of the butthole as men: it’s a one-way street.

Porn: Women find the greatest pleasure in life is giving a man a blow job.
Reality: Women find their pleasure is not based entirely on men or on serving others.

Porn: Women screwing every man they come within a 3 foot radius of
Reality: Women being more discriminant than “has a pulse”

Porn: Women doing horses and dogs
Reality: Women not doing horses and dogs

Porn: Women rubbing their clit harshly for 10 seconds and then orgasming upon penetration
Reality: Women laughing at the idea that the female body is that simple.

Porn: Women love being forced to give blow jobs, having penises slap them in the face, and despite their tears, become even more aroused by the abuse
Reality: Man tries this. Woman flees to woman’s shelter, reports man for domestic abuse. Man is incarcerated.

DominicX's avatar

@papayalily

I don’t deny that, although I was thinking more of gay male porn as I really haven’t seen straight porn before.

Basically what you are saying is that people who view porn can’t distinguish between fantasy and reality. I can. What makes me different?

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@DominicX First off, allow me to burst that bubble of “I am special and above all other human beings”. You aren’t. You are victim to the follies that hurt the rest of us.

Mostly, it’s that even though people know porn is fake, they don’t know every little detail. It’s much easier to say that porn is exaggerating when the exaggeration is, say, men with 10 inch penises and the average is 5. But what about when the penises are all 6 and 7 inches? You absolutely sure that you’d catch that every single time? Most people watch porn and try to relax, not be a watchdog.

DominicX's avatar

@papayalily

Do you know me? I didn’t say that to imply that I’m “above” anyone. You inferred that yourself and you are putting words in my mouth and making yourself look like a fool. What you seem to be claiming (and this is true of many anti-porn folks that I have come across) is that because I view porn, I am going to expect everything that happens in porn to happen in real life because I can’t distinguish fantasy from reality. That is simply not true.

And the average for an adult male is 6 and I’ve seen plenty in porn that do not look much larger than that.

Furthermore, what is wrong with seeing one that is bigger? I know what the average is. Porn isn’t going to make me expect anything bigger because I already know what the average is and around the average is what I will expect.

I have a feeling that many people who hate pron do not actually view much porn. I am speaking only from experience as someone who does look at porn on occasion (usually still images) and someone who is in a healthy relationship with someone who does the same.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@DominicX 1) I’m not anti-porn, both politically or otherwise. I love porn. I have external hard drives just for the storage of porn. Just because I am against some of the porn that is out there, or notice systematic issues with the current porn industry, or see inherent flaws in it, does not mean I am anti-porn.

2) You said that you could distinguish reality from fantasy. Since virtually all humans are incapable of doing that 100% accurately 100% of the time, you having the ability to do something that about 4 other people on the face of the planet can do does mean you are saying you are superior.

3) Fine, 6 inches. The studies I’ve seen say differently, but it was meant as an example so it doesn’t really matter. Don’t mistake the trees for the forest.

DominicX's avatar

@papayalily

I never said “100% accurately 100% of the time”. You made that up entirely yourself. What I meant by that was just because I see polished models with 11-inch dicks in porn (which I really don’t see. This is free Eastern European porn we’re talking about here and humongous dicks freak me out more than anything), that doesn’t mean that I’m going to expect to see that in real life and then be disappointed when future boyfriends don’t match up to that or don’t want to be whipped and dick-slapped or fuck horses with me (neither of which turn me on in any way).

What we seem to also be forgetting here is that just because there is an average, doesn’t mean that everyone fits with that average. There are plenty of people who are indeed above average. An 8-inch dick or a really good-looking person does not automatically equal “fantasy”. If porn makers decide to show the above average mostly, that doesn’t change the fact that I know what average is (and I’m not just talking about size) and will expect around the average in real life, since it is the most common and thus the most realistic.

Porn is a tool to get off when I’m feeling horny (as a teenage guy, that is normal and expected). What I have with my boyfriend is completely different and completely separate from that.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@DominicX Ok, so then you can’t always tell the difference. And it’s in those times that the damage is done.

DominicX's avatar

@papayalily

I don’t really understand what you mean. What kind of differences? What are some examples of this? What causes one thing to be “fantasy” and another thing to be “reality”, in regards to porn? What part of porn is fantasy and what part is reality?

You said that you yourself look at porn. When in your looking at of porn are you not able to tell the difference?

ucme's avatar

A raging hard on, a box of tissues & a wry self satisfied grin?Oh you mean those not in favour..oops sorry.

BoBo1946's avatar

Porn degrades the meaning of a loving sexual relationship between two people that love each other. Young people should be taught that sex between a man and woman should be special. When they become adults, then they can make their decision on porn.

Ellie’s parents are wrong. That should never be a reason not to embrace your children. Actually, there is no reason to turn your back on your children.

free_fallin's avatar

I love porn. I’ve been watching/reading it since I was a very young child. I see nothing wrong with porn, I see people watching it choosing to see it as something else. To me it is entertainment.

@papayalily Your list may be true about some people, it is certainly not true of all people.

Draconess25's avatar

@Haleth A lot of parents I know view porn & erotica as the same thing. We were writing erotica, but her parents called it porn & “the work of the Devil”.
@DominicX All I watch is gay porn too, so don’t feel lonely.
@ParaParaYukiko I like tentacle porn….

ParaParaYukiko's avatar

@Draconess25 Interestingly, it seems tentacle porn has been part of Japanese society for several centuries. Netsuke (tiny sculptures used to hang coin purses and such from obi) like this one have been showing up since the 1600’s.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I like @Haleth s distinction between pornography and erotica. So much is portrayed that distorts reality and models unsafe behavior. A prime example are BDSM films that show practices that are extremely dangerous if not done with skill and preparation, others that are plain dangerous. Male-produced porn depicts a very distorted view of women, as @papayalily shows. Much of this material also removes the element of love, or even affection, from the scene.

I’m not necessarily against pornography, but I am concerned about false notions of sexuality and unsafe practices being shown. I especially worry about links between porn and abuse of women and girls. Erotic material can be wonderful if it portrays things realistically, especially as regards safety and consent.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@Draconess25 The Japanese have also brought rope bondage to a high art form. You have to study the knots and patterns sometimes for hours before trying them. My lady was always looking for new ways that she wanted to be “decorated”. Great care has to be taken in regard to circulation, nerves and breathing also. We actually have a mannequin in our playroom to practice knots and patterns on.

ParaParaYukiko's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land Leave it to the Japanese to become perfectionists in everything, including bondage. Wow.

What I do find interesting in Japan is the coincidence that Japan is one of the few industrialized countries where pornography is widely available to minors, yet its rape rates are very low, at least according to this 1999 essay on the subject. However, recently the Internet has changed the way pornography and sex work in Japan, leading to an explosion of internet sex crimes. For rape that does happen, it was until quite recently that women were able to get justice for rape crimes committed against them without difficulty. [Source]

We also find in Japan high school girls dating middle aged men for luxury items like cell phones and purses, something called compensated dating. At least the kids know how to use Japan’s nation-wide schoolgirl fetish to their advantage…

Silhouette's avatar

There is still, in this day and age, a huge slice of the population who are afraid of sex. They are ashamed of it and by it.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

There is also a huge slice of the population who isn’t afraid or ashamed of sex, but is very concerned with the false ideology and unrealistic standards that pornography sears into the minds of our culture.

Silhouette's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies They have pornophobia. These are the same people who are afraid of certain music, books etc. They want it controlled because they can’t control themselves.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

You use the word “afraid”. I use the word “concerned”. Yes, I’m very concerned about certain music, books, and sexual depictions, but I am not afraid of them.

I would never attempt to “control” any of these things to the extent of removing them from society. Everyone has the right to express themselves. But I will also never be tempted to silence my concerns over these things from an unprofessional diagnosis of somehow being afraid of them.

I’m all for giving pornography its own xxx.com web server solutions. I am not in favor of my young son having to surf through a myriad of pornography ads just so we can watch our weekly Japanese anime episodes. They force us to view the ads just so we can watch the show. And what of my young niece who searches for pussycat on google?

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Society demands that I look out for the best interests of my children. Is it too much to ask the same in return from society?

Silhouette's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Good on ya. I too exercise my freedom of speech. If I were that worried about my son wading through pornography to get to the next episode of anime, I’d probably get him through it before I turned the controls over to him. I just googled pussycat and I saw a great music video. It’s the parents job, they sign up for it when they choose to have children. I don’t think it does the children any good to bubble wrap them. Teach them how to navigate the world as it is, just in case you can’t make all the changes you think it needs.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

@Silhouette

First it was “afraid”. Now it’s “worried”. Is it not good enough to simply be “concerned”?

Because of my concern, I’m not worried or afraid. I do indeed take the precautions that you suggest. But my concern is… Why should I have to?

I put the question to you again. If society is concerned with the manner that I raise my children, why should I not expect the same degree of responsibility back from society? Why shouldn’t the internet be just as secure as a local neighborhood park? I don’t have to be concerned with strippers showing up there, yet I know exactly where to find them if I have any such desire to do so.

You can still get all the porn you want from a specially designated xxx server. It will most likely run faster for you too, considering the money that it generates. It would also be easier and more efficient to navigate because of its specialty application. You loose nothing in this scenario, and we both walk away happily achieving our particular inclinations.

Yet, as I understand it, this proposed law was struck down under the guise of making it too difficult to obtain pornography.

And sorry, I don’t agree that it’s just the parents job. Society has a vested interest in making parenthood as easy as it can be… rather than increasing its challenges. There’s an old phrase that I truly believe in, that being… “It takes a village to raise a child”.

@Silhouette “It’s the parents job, they sign up for it when they choose to have children.”

None of us would be here if they didn’t. Child rearing is a much bigger issue than Parenthood. Society chooses to protect children with car seats, drinking ages, toy recalls, and food/drug advisories. Society also chooses to remove children from certain parents as well. Child rearing is a societal issue, beyond parenting alone.

@Silhouette “Teach them how to navigate the world as it is, just in case you can’t make all the changes you think it needs.”

But children aren’t capable of doing such a thing, no matter how hard someone would attempt to teach them that. They are children, with the minds of children. They cannot be expected to cope with the world in the same manner that adults do.

Do you have any children Silhouette? Is the advice you offer me based in experience?

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies No one has to view ads on the internet. There are good ad blockers for both Firefox and Chrome.

Silhouette's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Concened is good. No I don’t think you should expect society to cater to your needs or wants in regards to protecting your children from porn. I think that responsibility rest solely on the shoulders of the parents.

It’s easier if the entire village raises the child but ultimately, it’s the parents job.

Are you really comparing car seats, drinking ages, and toy recalls with porn? Outstanding!
Gives a whole new meaning to clackers http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_TGisiI_dI2E/SJnBcxjiGWI/AAAAAAAAAF4/rKVJ3WGYP-U/s400/Clackers+-+60%27s.JPG

Children can be taught these things, both of my children and all of the children in my family have learned these things. We made it a point to tell them about the ugliness in this world. We have prepared our children by teaching them about boogeyman and butt plugs. They were told to avoid both. Now I don’t have to wait for society to eradicate them for me. My kids will be safe even if they stumble on to a pussycat website.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Yes indeed, I am comparing those things with porn. They are all special conditions that society applies for the well being of children. What is your argument against porn having it’s own xxx server solution, apart and separate from the www servers? It seems to me that we would both get what we wanted with no inconvenience put upon anyone.

Silhouette's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Wow, reminds me of a video I saw recently. http://www.onlybelievetv.com/view_video.php?viewkey=3d06de0ca9a15b615367

I don’t have an argument against xxx servers, I think you should build one, If you build it they will cum.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Why does that video remind you of anything I speak of?

What makes you think that I have the ability to build a xxx server, and that if I could, how would that solve anything? What incentive do I have to make them “cum”?

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

That’s not an answer Silhouette. The sarcasm of clackers, cum and sigh’s does little for intelligent discussion.

Silhouette's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies No, maybe not, but doubt you were actually looking for an intelligent discussion.You didn’t like my answer and you seem very determined to prove me “wrong’. We don’t agree on this issue, BFD. You think the village should raise the children and I think the parents should. You think there is a comparison between car seats and porn, I think that’s ludicrous. You think ‘someone’ should create an xxx sever and I think that’s a fine idea and I think you should put your money where your mouth is, unless of course you think this is the job of your fellow villagers.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Perhaps I wasn’t clear before. As I understand it, a proposed law that would require the porn industry to be hosted on its own private xxx server solutions was shot down. It was defeated under the guise of making porn too difficult to obtain for those who desired it. All it required was typing xxx in place of www. It wouldn’t make any difference if I or anyone else provided those servers. The porn industry doesn’t want it. And that industry has more capital to build whatever it wants than any other web based industry.

And I’m not quite sure what the law is on this, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was illegal for me, as an adult, to willingly allow minor children access to pornographic material. I don’t really know. Perhaps it is legal. But if it’s not, then why should it be so easy for a child to access?

I remember when my son’s friends came over a couple of years ago. I don’t monitor my son’s online activity because of all the reasons that you previously mentioned. We’ve had all the discussions and built a trust between us. But walking into his room to offer popcorn, I was taken by surprise that one of the friends had dialed up some graphic Britney Spears animation. No harm done really. I just had no idea that my son would be introduced to Britney beastiality that afternoon, getting it from the rear by a giant cartoon donkey. I would have opted him out of that experience if given the choice. They were ten years old. And it didn’t sit well with his mother when he left my visitation schedule.

One of my employees was careless enough to leave a few open porn windows in the dock on one of our graphics computers. I happened to sit down with a client at that station to demo a new web site. Clicking on FireFox icon immediately brings up the dock contents. Yes I know, I should have checked to make sure the station was appropriate for clients, but hey, I’m a busy guy sometimes. That wasn’t a good encounter with the client. The employee was not fired over it either.

I’m sorry you don’t understand the analogy of society creating safety laws for children that go beyond what the parents express. It’s really nothing of a comparison between car seats and pornography. I’m just acknowledging the instances of when society steps in to ensure the best interests of all children. I wonder why porn isn’t considered in those situations. I have no desire to prove you wrong. Just hoping to have an open discussion about the matter.

Silhouette's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies We have had an open discussion about the matter it just didn’t sway me to your way of thinking and it didn’t sway you to mine. No big deal.

BoBo1946's avatar

i’m scared to death of sex!

Silhouette's avatar

—@BoBo1946 You know what I do when I’m scared of something? I close my eyes and jump in with both feet. Jump in BoBo!!

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