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jazmina88's avatar

NSFW I have lost my lust and my superpower of the BJ. What do I do?

Asked by jazmina88 (11647points) May 21st, 2010

I have fibro and a bulgin disc in my neck. FWB (friend with benefits) came last weekend and my neck hurt so bad, I couldnt finish a decent blow job.

Now as a clarinet player and scorpio, and girl whose jazz musician has told many a rock star of my prowess : I feel like I’ve lost something. Libido, game, the best secret of jazmina…....

I go to therapy once in awhile, I got burnt out after a year and a half. I cant never tell Jeremy of my dilemma. I told the girl next door who is in school for PT, she said neck stretches. I do those everyday.

The pain is rotten, who can think about sex….What has happened to me?

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14 Answers

FutureMemory's avatar

Knowing women like you exist makes me sad about the present but hopeful about the future.

The only thing I can think of would be for your partner(s) to get into a position where you don’t have to move much…he needs to get creative.

Scooby's avatar

First off go see a doctor, concentrate on getting your neck sorted first, I’m sure you friend will understand, you can always give him a hand job if he’s that desperate for release! :-/

jazmina88's avatar

@scooby hand jobs dont come natural to me. I think men probably do it better. They have more practice?? :)

I guess I could do the knee thing….he does rub my neck. That might work. Good FWB.

I do have to get back to drs. I’m miserable and my life is ___________.
I need a surgery or 2, I think and live alone most of the time. FWB just got good work and I feel bad to ask him to take time off. My other close pal is leaving for 3 weeks, so it’s hard to figure out a plan/

I just want to be a sexual being again, that doesnt hurt so bad I cant think or groove.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@jazmina88 There are positions so that you can do oral without moving your neck. It requires him to do the moving though. Do you have a neck brace? Immobilizing your neck while doing this might help. Is your relationship such that other forms of sex are acceptable to you?

I would never ask my lady to do something like this if it caused her pain. But then, I prefer giving than receiving anyway. :^P

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Take some time off to get yourself squared away. Don’t worry about sex with the FWB, if he’s a real F he’ll understand.

Cruiser's avatar

Most localized injuries set off a string of relating sympathetic issues. Tight or sore neck muscles often will cause the shoulders to tighten to help support the sore neck and daisy chain the muscles down the back. So IMO neck stretches are only part of the therapy. I would do a full upper body stretch and Yoga will help you accomplish that quite thoroughly.

And like @stranger_in_a_strange_land suggested, I would wear a neck brace when practical too to give those neck muscles a break. I would also ask Mr. Jeremy to put out a decent neck massage…it’s only fair!!

wilma's avatar

Been there.
After you see a Dr. and follow some advice from him/her, then hopefully you will be feeling better.
I used to put myself in neck traction every night for about an hour. It hurt sooo good.
A physical therapist can be a savior as well.
If your friend is really a friend, then you should be able to explain your problem to him and together you can come up with some creative ideas for getting you back to being and feeling your sexy self.

CMaz's avatar

Give it time. Think of other new and creative was of doing what you like.

gailcalled's avatar

If FWB is a real friend, he should understand and not expect any acrobatics from you. He should, instead, help you mend. He could have certainly serviced himself. Sex is supposed to be a pleasure and not a duty.

You need to see an orthopod or neurologist and, if appropriate, a trained and certified Physical Therapist. Take no advice about Yoga, stretches, exercise, neck rolls, etc. from anyone here. You may make things worse. Neck stretches can be damaging. (Scorpios are not immune from serious injuries.)

beautifulbobby193's avatar

I am sure he would be happy to temporarily substitute anal sex for the BJs, at least until your neck gets better. Best of luck with it and hope you feel better soon.

jazmina88's avatar

@beautifulbobby193 Sorry no substition like that.
FWB is very understanding and said he would help me get back to my old pervy self. It’s gonna take time. He’s a good one. He knew it really bothered me.

Guys, thanks for the support.
much lurve…..

HungryGuy's avatar

Get to a doctor and have your neck taken care of pronto!

Answerbagger's avatar

What guy in his right mind would stick his thing in a hole surrounded by sharp hard blades at the entrance than can clamp shut in an instant during an involuntary spasm?

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