Social Question

Your_Majesty's avatar

Should parents get worried if their 15th years old teens commit sex?

Asked by Your_Majesty (8212points) May 22nd, 2010

OK we know that sex at teens is part of nowadays popular culture but still,as a parent we should concern about everything that happen to our child. I heard many news and other contribution made and support by our government about sex at teen stages and they said it’s inappropriate,unnecessary for teens,and of course it’s morally wrong. Other theory shows that only parents with daughter will concern about this lifestyle.

As a good parent should we really concern about this lifestyle? Would it be wrong to allow our teens to experience sex at early age? Then what will you do as good parent toward this issue?

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22 Answers

janbb's avatar

I believe from other threads that you are living in a non-western culture. Is that true? I think one’s attitude on teenage sex would depend partly on one’s own values and partly on the prevailling values of the larger culture one is in. For me personally, my attitude would depend a lot on my knowledge of the individual kids involved and the context of their relationship. I am not inclined to make blanket statements of shoulds and shouldn’ts.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

It’s not a crime and I did it when I was barely 16 so nothing to worry about if you did a good job explaining risks and benefits and contraception.

Your_Majesty's avatar

@janbb Yes,you’re right. But I’m different from most people in my country. I see that issue with my view of rationality. I understand that this issue is unacceptable in our religion/cultural context but what I can’t understand is that these studies made and exposed by most highly educated people in my country. I agree with them if it’s for disease and behavioral reason,but other than that I don’t see why it’s wrong and why it’s banned all around.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I see. Your theory did exist in my country but unfortunately it’s outnumbered by other opposite theories.

Cruiser's avatar

Of course you should be concerned to what happens to your child even at 15 till you or they pass on! HS you are the parent!!! Granted as they get older they are more responsible for their actions but you are their role model and more so their mom or dad and that in itself is everything that binds you to them at most of what they experience.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Doctor_D Oh, I see – yeah banning teens from sex and not providing relevant education has been proven to be detrimental in the long run.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I will always be concerned about what happens to my children. Right now I only have a son, but I don’t think I will worry any more or differently when I have a daughter. My son will be taught that he is responsible for his actions and that he will take responsibility should anything happen when he decides to have sex. I will educate him on the risks of having sex and about safe sex.

Silhouette's avatar

What’s morally wrong is not educating your child about sex, if a teen is properly educated they will self regulate more often than not. Inappropriate and unnecessary? Hardly. Their bodies are shouting, demanding immediate action. Do It! Do It! Do It! Do It NOW!

tinyfaery's avatar

What you allow and what your child will do are not the same thing.

MissA's avatar

Of course, offer the risks of casual sex…but, there’s possibly a greater ‘danger’ of influencing one’s choices about their future and the possibilities thereof, when engaging in sex at a young age.

RedPowerLady's avatar

At fifteen a parent should be concerned that
– their child understands the risks and benefits of sex
– their child feels comfortable accessing a doctor about their sex questions
– their child has access to appropriate birth control
– their child feels empowered to say “no”
– their child does not have other issues going on leading them to seek comfort in sex

There is no simple answer here. All you can do is provide your children with loving support, resources, and education. I would say if you know that your child is engaging sex in an unhealthy way you need to intervene. Perhaps counseling is needed, perhaps just more nurturing relationships and extracurriculars are needed. But a parent should not simply let their child engage in unhealthy sexual habits or promiscuity at such a young age without trying to intervene. Simply saying “no” or “abstinence only” will not solve any problems.

xxii's avatar

I don’t feel any fifteen year-old is emotionally mature enough to understand the meaning of sex beyond sensual pleasure, and implications on reputation or self-esteem. I’m sorry, but maturity is something that comes with age. If I were a parent I would be outraged, not worried, if my 15 year-old child was having sex, and I would absolutely take measures to prevent it.

Arp's avatar

@xxii I don’t think there are many adults that are that mature, sadly.

perspicacious's avatar

Yes. Wait until you are older to “commit” sex.

YARNLADY's avatar

@tinyfaery that’s just what I was thinking
I don’t really think a child will ask a parent’s permission when the opportunity comes up. The wise parent will make sure the child has been properly educated about the consequences of his actions, and hope for the best.

Response moderated
Jeremycw1's avatar

Well, It does tend to happen quite a bit in high school, but I think it depends on the relationship status of the couple. I mean, don’t let your daughter be a prostitute. But it’s really up to you. You have to weigh the risks and benefits… it’s a tough call.

roundsquare's avatar

Culture has changed, biology is still catching up. If you try to stop things forcefully, teens rebel and things go bad.

At 15, I thinks its better if they ease into things, but it depends a lot on the individual kid.

mattbrowne's avatar

Only if they followed Sarah Palin’s sex education advice.

jerv's avatar

@mattbrowne Sarah Palin’s advice or Bristol Palin’s example?

Dewey420's avatar

i was 15 too. and i wore a condom..cuz sex ed was a very scarey class to me. and commiting sex isn’t a crime..per sa. It is against the law if the girl is 15 and the boy is 18 or older. And I disagree with it being morally wrong..if the two teens act mature and responsible about their actions and feelings toward one another. I say this because, again, I was only 15, and I felt I was ready at that age, and I only wish I didn’t have to sneak behind my parents back to do it..it would have meant so much more to me if I could have expressed my feelings and desires openly. Which is why I intend to be compassionate and open to everything my daughter tells me, I want her to be comfortable talking to me, unlike I was with my parents at 15.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Okay since I am a teen right now (I promise Everyone here I haven’t had sex and lost my virginity) But I think it’s a bad thing for one since of all of the risks of guys not wearing a condom and unwanted pregnancy and if they’re really unlucky a std. But the thing that is good (in my view) is that it gives them a lesson on why teens shouldn’t have sex. Since once they experience it they’ll either hate it and regret that they did it. Or love it and keep wanting more. But I think it’s a bad thing. I know, I want to have sex for my age, but I know I’m not ready to be physically and emotionally involved with it. And for the parents out there you should definitely be concerned about your child having sex in their teens. They most likely won’t have a good future and will most likely regret it because something will go wrong.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Since there is nothing you legally can do, just get the checkbook ready for the eventual grandchild that will come. The person they are boinking is legally just as sexually inept as them, and actually just as broke and poor. That is the formula of youth these days.

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