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JLeslie's avatar

Do you have things that have weighed on your mind for years and years?

Asked by JLeslie (60734points) May 22nd, 2010

I have a health problem that plagues my thoughts for the last 18 years. Sometimes I go for months ignoring it, and then sometimes I have weeks where I can’t sleep at night trying to figure out my next move regarding trying to finally get all better.

I also have some decisions, life altering decisions, that I have bounced around in my head for years. I go back and forth, back and forth.

I was just wondering if everyone has things like this?

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12 Answers

anartist's avatar

regrets for a profoundly bad decision that was life-affecting [and also affected my opinion of myself] and struggles to chart a new course.

efritz's avatar

One year, I just plumb forgot how to socialize. I lost most of my friends, my family is estranged, and to this day I cannot relate to people. It also ravaged my self-image and confidence.

anartist's avatar

@efritz how did you forget?

efritz's avatar

@anartist – ha, that’s what I’m trying to figure out. Maybe just one of those things you do automatically, and then when you stop and think about the mechanics of it, it falls apart.

eden2eve's avatar

I think that when we have incessant thoughts about consequential things in our lives, it’s usually because we haven’t resolved them.

I also have a few of those things that sort of “haunt” me. I guess if we could somehow undo the damages done by bad choices of ourselves or others which had a great effect on our lives, or somehow magically fix our health issues, this question wouldn’t have to be asked.

I know you didn’t ask this, but if you are looking for solutions, I guess the only answer I’ve found for this kind of sometimes obsessive thinking is some type of meditation.

It could be Hatha Yoga, Tao, breathing, , prayer, walking or movement meditation, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), or any of a huge variety of other methods that have worked for people all over the world.

anartist's avatar

@efritz don’t think about walking or talking —- don’t think of Niagara Falls.

YARNLADY's avatar

For me, it’s just the general sort of “I hope my kids and grandkids are happy” sort of thing. Lately, it’s more about my oldest son who had a severe stroke three years ago, and is still slowly recovering, and now we found out his partner has MS and can no longer care for him.
With him on the other side of the world, his welfare weighs heavily on my mind.

anartist's avatar

@YARNLADY hope everything improves for him and his partner. His partner has a rough road ahead.

perspicacious's avatar

Yes, I did hardly anything but worry about someone for the last ten years. The circumstances are now different and the worrying has stopped.

augustlan's avatar

I don’t much now, but have in the past. I contacted a classmate at the time of our ten-year high school reunion, to apologize for something I’d done to her in 8th grade. It had haunted me for all that time, and she didn’t even remember it! I am the queen of guilt, I tell you.

I still have something weighing on my mind nearly all the time, but it’s not the same things over and over, anymore. New stuff to worry about seems to occur almost daily. Sigh. And if I’m not worrying, I’m still deep in thought.

jazmina88's avatar

sure, hopes and dreams, and nasty neighbors… does get you thinking about if you are doing things that meet your morals and identity. and If you are doing the right thing.

Berserker's avatar

Yeah, there’s this one thing that’s been bothering me forever, for like ten years, and it probably won’t go away until a conclusion happens, but that’s prolly the worse part. XD
But with that and plenty of other things, I’ve learned not to dwell too much on this kinda thing, especially if it’s nothing you can really do anything about. If you can do something about it, then by all means, but things like health aren’t always easy, and sometimes it costs too much and all.
The examples don’t quit there, but my grandma told me this thing, that when something’s bugging you and you can’t do dick but wait to see how it turns out, put it in a package, leave it at the foot of your bed when you go to sleep and let God deal with it.
Of course it’s a metaphor and I don’t believe in God, but it always stuck with me either way.

I think Stephen King explained it pretty well in Lizzy’s Story.

Or not, since I also don’t believe in three mile long worms and alternate realities you can use to escape from psychotic buggers.

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