General Question

Swervy's avatar

How do I stop being angry?

Asked by Swervy (107points) May 25th, 2010

I swear at my mum when I dont want to do something I dont want to do. I call her for everthing, like bad filthy names and that. I dont listen to her when I should. What should I do about this?

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7 Answers

Primobabe's avatar

How old are you?

dpworkin's avatar

Part of your job at your age is to separate and individuate from your family. It is a process, and sometimes it seems to involve a struggle. If you don’t like your behavior, try a different tactic: instead of getting angry and calling your mum names, try to explain to her how you need more autonomy now, and make sure you use your new autonomy wisely. The more you demonstrate you are mature enough to take on more responsibility, the more she is likely to give you.

YARNLADY's avatar

I found some strategy suggestions you can try by typing Anger Management in my search box.

Breathe deeply
repeat “relax” to yourself
use imagery – imagine yourself relaxed
learn yoga

Primobabe's avatar

You already know that you shouldn’t be cursing at your mother, and that you need to get control of your outbursts. If not, you wouldn’t have Fluthered your question.

Do you have any idea, whatsoever, of why you’re so volatile? Are things ok at school? Is your family going through difficult times? Do you have friends who treat you shabbily?

tranquilsea's avatar

I would talk to your mom when you are calm and let her know that you know you have an anger problem. Tell her that you are going to work hard at getting some distance before you lose your cool. Ask her for help in doing so by asking her to redirect you when she sees you are losing your temper. Then when you feel you temperature start to rise, excuse yourself and go somewhere to calm down. To calm down get a punching bag and punch it or yell into a pillow.

Get to the bottom of why you get so angry over being asked to do something you don’t want to do. Life is full of duties that many do not like to do but they must be done. You need to just buckle down and do them.

Buttonstc's avatar

I’m wondering why your Mother puts up with this crap from you with apparently no consequences to you.

Has she always spoiled you and catered to you every little whim and wish?

The main reason you cuss at your Mom is because you can get away with it, apparently.

If there were consequences for it, you wouldn’t do it. But fortunately, you seem to have a conscience about it. Good for you.

You know better so now it’s time to do better. It’s called self-control. I’m glad you recognize the need to develop this quality.

People who reach adulthood without developing self control find themselves in for a rude awakening when they find out that the rest of the world is not willing to put up with their temper tantrums. Sometimes they even end up in jail before they wake up to the fact that the rest of the world won’t put up with their crap the way that their doting parents used to.

The reason you cuss at your Mom is because at some point in time you gave yourself permission to do that.

You now realize that she deserves better from you. So, revoke the permission. Hold yourself to a higher standard than you used to. Dont permit yoursef to act like an ungrateful lout. You’d be amazed at how easy it will be for you if you stop telling yourself that this is acceptable behavior for a son to display toward his mother. It really is that simple.

There is no mysterious force taking hold of your vocal chords. It’s your will. Use it.

There are far better ways to express yourself and get what you want.

Once you deny yourself the option of yelling, cussing and acting like an SOB, you’d be surprised how quickly you figure out alternate ways of relating.

shinyyy's avatar

Do meditation & Yoga

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