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shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

How can I sway this person's decision to "yes"?

Asked by shpadoinkle_sue (7188points) May 25th, 2010

I got laid off a while ago and I had to move home to my parent’s house in Washington. I’ve never had a place to my own ever and I’m getting a little antsy because there’s a family friend’s property less than a half a mile away that has a single wide. Just perfect for one person. He’s a really good family friend and we know each other well.
I’ve asked him before about living there. His answer was not really. The reason wasn’t because of me or my family, it was because his past tenants had screwed up the property. I’ve been inside and there isn’t that much damage. There might be things I don’t see, but it’s definately nothing that can’t be fixed. I’ve offered to clean it up myself, but I’m not sure what else I can do. I’m hoping that with persistance I can sway his decision, but what else can I do?

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9 Answers

gemiwing's avatar

First I would prove that I could pay rent, bank statements etc. Next step is to figure out why, specifically, they said no- I know he said that the last people wrecked it, but why does he think you will do the same? Think like he is and that could show you the angle you need to take.

Seaofclouds's avatar

Is he planning to repair it and rent it again or has he given up on it. It could be that he just doesn’t want to deal with it at all anymore. Like @gemiwing said, be able to prove that you can and will pay rent and then try talking to him about it. Another thought I had is that he doesn’t want to rent to you because of the relationship with your family. If anything goes wrong, it could cause problems with that relationship and he might not want to risk it.

kevbo's avatar

Rather than getting fixated on this opportunity, recognize that you know you want something like this for your own variety of reasons and keep looking for opportunities that are similar. Broadcast the parameters of your search to everyone you know, including your friend. Talk about your search casually, but whatever you do, don’t use the conversation as a guilt trip. After enough searching, he might be motivated to help you by letting you rent his place, or a similar opportunity might come up. If he has reasons not to rent it to a decent friend, then it really needs to become his idea down the line to rent it to someone like you.

Jeruba's avatar

I agree that you might be better off not to overlay a business relationship on a personal one. One can put a strain on the other. @kevbo is right that now that you’ve got this idea in your head as a starting point, you can go shopping for what you want, assuming you’re prepared to pay rent. You may well find something else you like much better, and a little bit of distance from your parents isn’t such a bad idea.

If you were asking this neighbor to let you live there for nothing, that’s a different matter. There’s no reason why he should give up the rental possibilities of his own property, especially without any way to secure his investment in it.

Cruiser's avatar

I would not bring on a tenant that wasn’t gainfully employed. Get a decent job and then ask him again.

john65pennington's avatar

You apparently are not married and to me that would send up a red flag for girls and parties. its natural for you, but maybe he does not want to contend with this. and, being a good friend would further complicate the situation. look somewhere else. no one will accept you without gainful employment.

hug_of_war's avatar

If someone says no, you should respect that. You can lay out why he can trust you, why you wouldn’t be a hassle, but stop bothering him and pestering him. Spend your time finding work and then getting a place.

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

:) I guess I fogot to mention I am employed now. I work at the Safeway part-time in town. About 20 hours a week, minimum wage. The apartment complexes in town are really gross and the cop cars are there more than I’d care for.

@john65pennington you do make a good point, I hadn’t thoguht of that. But, he knows that I’m not a party girl in any way shape or form. All my friends are in their 40’s and 50’s.

This is all in my head right now, So that’s why I’m seeing what other people think. I really do appreciate your opinions. It’s stuff I wouldn’t have thought of before.

Silhouette's avatar

You should ask him directly what it would take for him to change his mind and let you rent. Ask him how you could prove yourself as a responsible tenant?

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