Social Question

missjena's avatar

Would you stay with your significant other if you found out they cheated on you?

Asked by missjena (910points) June 1st, 2010

It could be kissing to having sex. Would you stay or would you go?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

28 Answers

Blackberry's avatar

Stay, it’s just skin rubbing together. I would leave if she stole money from me.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I’ve never been cheated on (that I know of) in any conventional sense but I can see myself working through something like that.

trumi's avatar

Sober, leave without a second thought. Intoxicated… We’d have to discuss it.

FutureMemory's avatar

Because I have been cheated on in the past I can say with 100% certainty I would never in a million billion trillion years stay in a relationship with some that has been unfaithful. Once was enough.

MissA's avatar

I would like to say no, but I did. It’s amazing how we ‘think’ we will choose…then, don’t. I almost left, but thought our lives had become too complex together. I was wrong. Anything can be undone. Look at our country for example! Obviously, there’s more…but, who cares.

Aethelwine's avatar

There are many reasons why people cheat. If my husband cheated because he felt neglected, unloved or taken for granted, but truly regretted what he had done, then yes I would stay with him. I’m not ready to give up on 18 years of marriage that easily.

If he did it to me again, I’m not sure what I would do.

xxii's avatar

Zero tolerance. I would not stay.

Syger's avatar

Depends how I came about knowing.
If confessed; it depends.
If I stumbled upon evidence and it was being hidden; yes.

Jude's avatar

Do it once, I’ll no longer trust you.

I don’t have to put up with that shit. I deserve better.

faye's avatar

I went, and it was a good move for me.

casheroo's avatar

I’d leave.
Or, stay and be in a loveless marriage until I could support myself.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’d go. I was cheated on once and tried to forgive and take the person back but just never was able to think of them the same or enjoy their love towards me as I had before. Contempt seeped into every bit out of our relationship and I cut them loose a second and final time. That experience told me it was okay to be a trier but also okay to throw in the towel and free myself up for a partner who’d treat me as I felt I warranted.

With my current partner, I’ve dealt through addictions and all the lame behaviors, excuses and insensitivity that goes along with them so cheating at this point would be the last straw.

tranquilsea's avatar

This is something I’ve thought about a lot more than in the past as we just celebrated our 16th anniversary and recently a LOT of friends’ marriages have broken up for various reasons. The rational me would say I would not stay but when I look at him and imagine him being involved in an affair… If he unequivocally ended it, apologized with all his heart and soul and then agreed to go into therapy with me to get to bottom of why he did, then I would stay. I love him too much to give up on him.

evandad's avatar

If it was a fling I would stay. If it was because she loved someone else I would go.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

If it was a fling then wouldn’t you feel it was disrespect and disregard for taking the chance to hurt your feelings and lose you? I know I’d be hurt deeper if a my partner threw me away over a fling rather than finding a new and more fulfilling/fitting love.

If it was love then it’s understandable to let the person go to another.

stardust's avatar

I’m not sure – I’d weigh things up if in the situation. A part of me thinks I’d probably go due to the lack of respect, the breakdown in communication, etc – the issues leading to my partner being unfaithful.

RocketSquid's avatar

I did it once, and I regret almost every moment after. I should have left her that night.

andreaxjean's avatar

Well.. considering I already tried leaving my boyfriend because I wasn’t happy… If he cheated on me (kissing or sex), I’d leave. The only reason I stayed with him this time is because he insists that it’s in the best interest of our daughter. Honestly, I think our daughter would be more happy if BOTH of us were happy… And since I’m the main care giver… and she has to put up with me more than him….. ‘nuff said.

Bluefreedom's avatar

No I wouldn’t and in fact, I didn’t. Case in point, my first wife cheated on me. We were divorced less than a year later.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

If married, I’d stay and smile as long as it took to gather all the evidence I needed for court.

If unmarried but living together, I’d stay and smile until she left for work, and have all her shit sitting on the street when she returned to find the locks changed.

If unmarried and not living together, I would immediately cut off all contact and let eternal silence do the talking.

If she cheated on me with a friend, and it was a regular thing, I’d call Cheaters and make a buck off of my story.

Of course before any of this happened, I’d make sure to put her phone number and email on every solicitors list that I possibly could.

Nah… Just kidding. I’d probably just disappear.

perspicacious's avatar

I’ve never been through this when it mattered. There may have been cheating the last years of my marriage, I don’t really know, but by that time I was indifferent. It’s hard to say what I would do, but if this happened in a relationship in which I had no reason to think something was wrong or missing, I believe I would be so hurt that I would not be able to stay.

partyparty's avatar

I could never stay with someone who cheated on me. They are telling me they don’t care. I could never trust them again. The foundation of the relationship would be gone.

GrumpyGram's avatar

I would stay under certain conditions: he would have to burst into torrential tears, say he is “the most horrible , stupid man alive,” bang his head into the wall, get on his hands and knees begging forgiveness and present me with a diamond ring. If he simply justified it and said, “well, you deserved it because…blah blah” then I’d split. Immediately if not sooner.

evandad's avatar

@Neizvestnaya – No, I would feel the way that I stated. I know people play around. It’s a fact of life. Of course they will deny that, and I’m sure there will be a few that will challenge this. I really don’t have a problem with the occasional foray into the world of sex outside myself. I would expect them to be discrete and do their best to keep it from me. If they did it for love I would feel betrayed and would want to know as soon as possible.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

@evandad I appreciate your relaxed Bohemian attitude allowing your partner the “occasional foray”. There is a level of maturity with that type of thinking that could actually address the fragile ego of the masses fed by pop culture. I applaud you for that.

However, my problem with the “occasional foray” is the risk of sexual diseases spread by unscrupulous relationships. I keep my cock clean and nice for my one particular lover. I expect the same from her. If I cannot trust her to be in a monogamous relationship, then how could I possibly trust her to always use adequate protection with someone else?

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Serious lurve for your GA! This is why cheating is called cheating and not… “honey I’m thinking I’d like to explore responsible and respectful open relationships, do you think you’d be down for that with me?”

evandad's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies – It’s not for everyone. Obviously not for @Neizvestnaya . Good luck to both of you and thanks for the input.

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