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Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Who's up for making today lawyer and dr joke of the day?

Asked by Adirondackwannabe (36550points) June 3rd, 2010

What kind of crappy effort are you people up to today? I’ve seen more life at a zombie fest. Kick yourself in the ass and get some blood moving. Here’s a challenge: Come up with one lawyer or dr joke for the day. Dr Dredd is off limits.

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15 Answers

xRIPxTHEREVx's avatar

I just got here. What’s going on?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

New Jersey has the most toxic waste sites per capita. Washington DC has the most lawyers per capita. Why? NJ got first choice.

chyna's avatar

That was my joke! Now I got nothing. :-(

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

How do you get a blooming idiot? Have a lawyer jerk off on a flower pot.

chyna's avatar

^^Really bad.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I don’t know any jokes!

Cruiser's avatar

One morning, the doctor and his wife were having a very heated argument over breakfast. As he stormed out of the house on his way to the clinic, the doctor angrily yelled to his wife, “You aren’t that good in bed either!”

By midmorning, he decided that he had better make amends and phoned home. After many rings, his wife, clearly out of breath, answered the phone. “What took you so long to answer and why are you panting?”

The wife replied, “I was in bed.”

Then the doctor asked, “What in the world are you doing in bed at this hour?”

His wife responded, “Getting a second opinion.”

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

A divorce lawyer was in the process of divorcing his wife. She knew all of his tricks, so it was pretty messy. At the final court hearing he turned to her and said you don’t really have anything good to say to me do you? She thought for a minute and said, your dick is bigger than your brother’s.

Espiritus_Corvus's avatar

Michelle Bachmann walks into a psychiatrist’s office with a duck on her head.
The psychiatrist says, “Can I help you?”
And the duck says, “Yeah, can you get this chick off my ass?”

partyparty's avatar

Knock knock who’s there? Dr…....... Dr Who!!!

prescottman2008's avatar

A guy walks into the examining room with a sword sticking all the way through him. The doctor asks him if it hurts. The guy answers, “Only when I twist it.”

BoBo1946's avatar

If there is a lawyer here, please don’t be offended. I’ve some very good friends who are lawyers. There are some very good lawyers. Just a few offends the whole profession.

You’re in a room with a lawyer, Osama Bin Laden, and Saddam Hussein and you have a gun with two bullets. What do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

perspicacious's avatar

Can I bill for reading these jokes?

Heard this one the other day.
What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@perspicacious Lawyers bill for less. Drs bill but the insurance company denies their claim.

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