Social Question

Jude's avatar

Lesbian/bisexual ladies, are you attracted to butch, soft butch (think Jo from Facts of Life), your chica next store, or femme?

Asked by Jude (32112points) June 4th, 2010

Or, are you all over the map?

Butch? I don’t find attractive atall (doesn’t matter how handsome her face is). She may have a beautiful mind, and a kind heart, but, the whole butch look does nothing for me


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27 Answers

tinyfaery's avatar

I like me a soft butch, but really, I can be attracted to any type of girl. I love a girl with short, short hair and a somewhat masculine style of dressing. And I like the swagger that some butchie women have.

Let me find a pic.

Jude's avatar

I like a softie look, but, more butch in the sheets.

Actually, scratch that. I like a bit of femme (submissive) in the sheets. I’m the one who tends to be the “butch” (in bed), but, am femme otherwise.

gemiwing's avatar

I don’t have a ‘look’ I find attractive across the board. It’s more the attitude and brain.
loves me a smexy brain

ETA- I think I’d have an easier time naming specific people I find attractive, than a type. I’ve met too many people who fit the type but make my skin crawl.

tinyfaery's avatar

Can’t find a good one.

rebbel's avatar

I am not a lesbian
Could you please enlighten me…, what is a (soft-) butch?
And chica and femme?

gemiwing's avatar

femme- traditionally girly
butch- more masculine
soft butch- more masculine with a gentler femme side (a mix).

These are of course using patriarchal archetypes that really shouldn’t apply. sorry, had to throw that in there.

janbb's avatar

I got excited when I thought you wre talking about Jo from Little Women!

Kayak8's avatar

For me, growing up, Jo from Facts of Life was much more intriguing to me than Blair (super femme). Nowadays, I find I am drawn to women as diverse as Jody Foster (more soft butch as a kid and more femme as a woman), Sandra Bullock, and Angie Harmon (Law and Order). I also like the looks of Dara Torres (Olympic swimmer), loved the young Meridith Baxter, and will always hold a special place in my heart for Kate Hepburn. I also like Jane Lynch (Glee, First in Show, etc.).

Looks aside, I tend to prefer very bright, witty, articulate women with senses of dry, understated humor. I don’t like mean or “snarky” people very much and don’t typically like sarcasm. I like women who share some of my interests but are secure with having their own (and me having mine). I tend to dislike clingy women as a rule—not much into neediness.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I can be with anyone but find myself drawn (in a physical/sexual way) to people of the transmasculine spectrum.

Facade's avatar

I don’t consider myself bisexual but I do love beautiful women, so I don’t know. I got eyed by two butch lesbians once, and I enjoyed it lol. They were dressed in men’s clothing, but had nice faces and locs. Ordinarily, that type of look doesn’t appeal to me. Femmes (is that right?) are definitely more my speed.

syz's avatar

Butch is not usually attractive to me, with a few exceptions. I suppose soft-butch and femme are more my “type”.

Kayak8's avatar

@syz Please hide the pruners before going out with THAT one . . . .! If you lose a finger, you will no longer be well-hung!

KatawaGrey's avatar

I have never had a sexual experience with a woman but I can tell you that some women just hit me with such a sexual force it is overwhelming. I guess I am mostly attracted to woman who have harder features and hold themselves in a competent I-don’t-need-no-one-but-me kind of way. For example, Claudia Black really gets me going.

Edit to add: Also, I have never really found women with very large breasts attractive mostly because when I see them I don’t think, “hot” I think “I know what you’re going through.”

rebbel's avatar

@KatawaGrey “For example, Claudia Black really gets me going.”
Me too!

Facade's avatar

@KatawaGrey Blasphemy!~ A girl I’m attracted to has to have some jiggle!

wtfrickinfrack's avatar

I’m open to different types of women in general… although I’ll have to admit that the hardcore butch thing goes over my head sometimes. Anyway, my childhood crush was Scully and I tend to still lean in that direction. Smart, sophisticated, and ballsy. (weird way to describe a woman especially in a lesbian sense..but work with me haha)

As for myself, I suppose I seem femme to the average person.. but I’m a pretty dominant lover. rawr

syz's avatar

@KatawaGrey You’d probably like Gina Torres, too. She’s nicely bad-ass in the Firefly series.

@Kayak8 Have you seen Bound? Yummy.

wilma's avatar

I’m not lesbian or Bi, but I find this fascinating.
It makes me wonder how you would describe me?
And then I wonder why I’m wondering that!
Like @rebbel I guess I need some enlightenment on the different “types”.
I love all the things I can learn here.

gemiwing's avatar

@syz Dear God,
thank you for Gina Torres. That is all
from, me.

KatawaGrey's avatar

@Facade: Ain’t nothing wrong with a little jiggle but when I see a pair of DD’s, I feel sympathy rather than arousal. :P

@syz: Yes, Gina Torres certainly makes me go woof.

Facade's avatar

@KatawaGrey DD’s ain’t nothing lol :P

KatawaGrey's avatar

@Facade: Then to you, I say, “Ouch.” :P

Neizvestnaya's avatar

My eyes go to the thin boyish girls who dress masculine but I’ve only ever fallen in love with a woman who embodies the ultimate of femminity.

jazmina88's avatar

I love soft women, the chica next door….but I once knew Peg, skoal in pocket, who put quite a shine on my car

OpryLeigh's avatar

I love women like Angelina Jolie, tough looking while still being quite feminine. I’m really not into the overly girly thing, lot’s of pink and frills and flowers does nothing for me. I tend to go for the more mysterious types than the bubbly, girl next door types. I don’t like very butch women and I am rarely attracted to women with very short hair but I do love a girl who can take care of herself.

MissAnthrope's avatar

I’m generally not attracted to either extreme, very butch or very femme women. I fall in the middle, but am tomboyish, not really butch. I think I pretty often pass as straight, but I feel I exude gayness, so I’m not really sure where the disconnect is there.

I’ve been attracted to women who were soft butch, but I tend to be most attracted to those who fall into the tomboyish to somewhat femme-y category. I tend to like some hair (anything from boyish bob to past the shoulders), an easiness, willingness to get dirty sometimes, and I really like natural beauty and I find a lot of make up to be unattractive. I find overly fussy girls to be kind of annoying.

What I find attractive in real life is kind of different than celebrities I find attractive. Or maybe I just haven’t met a gay woman who was like a character or actress I felt drawn to. Some of my biggest celebrity crushes are Jennifer Connelly, Kate Winslet, Anna Torv, Cate Blanchett, Agent Scully, Emily Blunt, Starbuck, Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft, and Liv Tyler (particularly as Arwen, drool).

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I should probably clarify what feminine is to me. I most admire women who don’t need and don’t wear but the scantiest makeup, have shiny, soft, natural looking hair, soft bohemian dress (not chotzky hippie overload), are naturally graceful in their movements and gentle voiced.

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