Social Question

Aethelwine's avatar

Are you the type of parent that can't wait to get the children out of the house?

Asked by Aethelwine (42961points) June 5th, 2010

I’ll admit, I felt this way when I first had my sons. I was 21 and 23 when they were born, and I thought to myself how wonderful it would be having them out of the house by the time I turned 40. I am now 39, my oldest just graduated high school, and I am thankful that we have a 6 year old and I don’t need to worry about being an empty nester yet.

We have friends with children that have left home or will be leaving soon, and they joke with us how we could be in their shoes if we hadn’t had another child. I enjoy having my children around!

Do you, or did you dream of the day when your children would move out?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

17 Answers

Pandora's avatar

I enjoyed having my children around but once they became adults it does become bothersome. They are not copies of you and your spouse and you want to treat them as individual adults, however being a parent doesn’t ever really take a back seat. The best way for us to perserve our relationship as parent and child and still treat them as adults was to see them go on their own and be independent. I didn’t consider my job as completed till they were both able to be fully independent. Do I miss them, yes. But mostly as children, not as adults mooching off of us. I looked forward to them leaving only because it meant I could be a little more selfish now.
The clock isn’t going backwards, its going forward. So before I go from this planet, I would like some me time, and some we time (my husband and I). So far its been grand.
I still keep in close contact with my kids and maybe someday they will give us grand kids but I can wait.

Seaofclouds's avatar

For me, it’s not that I’m looking forward to my son being out of the house, but I am looking forward to seeing what kind of man he becomes. He is only 8, so I have quite some time before that happens.

ucme's avatar

Well for me that day is a fair way off yet, thank goodness. I say that because I can’t imagine our home being child free. I mean all quiet &..... no no no no don’t even want to go there.I spend so much time with my kids playing, acting up & just general good times that I can wait a good few years yet thank you very much.Besides which the wife will still be left with one kid come what may, so it’s all good.

chyna's avatar

@jonsblond Apparently you are not happy to have your oldest out of the house as you are now following his flight pattern. Haha.
I know this must really be hard on you guys. You all have turned out a great kid.

Aethelwine's avatar

@chyna haha…..at least I didn’t follow the bus to Chicago. Some parents did! Thank you!:)

chyna's avatar

@jonsblond I see that “run around naked” is in your topics. Does this mean…no, wait, I don’t want to know.

JLeslie's avatar

Awww, following a flight is not the same. :) Even parents who have their children out of the house for 20 years want to know their children landed safely when flying across the ocean to another continent.

janbb's avatar

I was sad to have them leave, but now am in a sweet time when I have gotten to visit them in the various places they have lived – Brooklyn, Philly, San Fran, Paris and D.C. – and get to interact with the darling and lovable men they have become! It is truly a joy. Pushing a stroller with my grandson in it along the banks of the Seine was not an experience I expected to have in life.

cookieman's avatar

Nope. But then, she’s only seven – so my options are limited. check with me again when she’s 21

ubersiren's avatar

Some days I feel this way. I really value my alone time and having very young kids doesn’t allow for much. In reality, I will be one of those moms who cries when her baby gets on the kindergarten bus the first day.

MissAusten's avatar

Yes and no. I look forward to seeing the people they will become, watching them progress through life and choose their own paths. I can’t wait to see them take on more challenges, learn new things, and venture out on their own. I do look forward to just being able to run out and do what I want, whether it’s grocery shopping or dinner with my husband, without all of the arrangements that currently go into such plans. Oh, and a long weekend away, just the two of us, or quiet lazy mornings, or being able to watch mature television in the middle of the day…I can certainly see the perks!

At the same time, thinking of all the kids being out of the house makes me sad. They are still young, and I can’t imagine not having them around. Even though I have moments every day when I want to pull my hair out, they make me laugh and appreciate things I might not normally take the time to appreciate. I love cuddling with them, reading with them, and acting like a dork with them. I’m sure I’ll be a wreck when each of them goes off to college and eventually gets their own place right now I can’t even look at the invitation to my son’s preschool graduation without crying but I don’t think I’ll be too distraught to still enjoy myself!

YARNLADY's avatar

No, I had my sons one at a time (16 years apart), and took in foster children, and I love having children in the house. I helped raise the first three grandsons, who are now adults, and I am helping raise the next two grandsons. I look forward to great grandchildren as well.

casheroo's avatar

My husband and I talk about how it’ll be nice to enjoy our 40s together, since the boys will both be graduating college by then (actually, I’ll be 38 when my oldest graduates) We do look forward to time together, but I love having my little babies with me now. I like doing things as a family, being close to my boys enough to snuggle and kiss them all the time. I’ll miss them being young.

I just recently realized I wasn’t enjoying being a mother enough. I felt it more a routine than something to enjoy and I snapped out of it. I didn’t want to feel that way, so now I do what my son wants and snuggle my baby whenever I can. So, that means going to multiple playgrounds a day, or whatever my son wants to do. He’ll only be young once!

perspicacious's avatar

When they were small I thought they would never grow up. When it was time for them to go I didn’t want them to.

casheroo's avatar

crap, I meant graduating high school

ubersiren's avatar

@casheroo Geez, you must be really energetic for all that! Good for you. You’ll have to teach me your way, master.

casheroo's avatar

@ubersiren I just get them the heck out of the house..that’s the biggest struggle. Once I’m out, I just chug water and let Cash be a maniac. lol

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther