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ucme's avatar

Which movie/book/tv show villain would be best employed as your personal security advisor?

Asked by ucme (49344points) June 5th, 2010

Bodyguard, home security, general all round guardian angel. I’m looking for some serious bad ass maternal fornicators. Someone who you would have complete faith in scaring the bejeezus outta any poor sucker who crosses you & your’s. Or simply someone who would best handle any of life’s shit that may come your way.Step forward & prepare for the interview please.

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44 Answers

Silhouette's avatar

Doc Holiday from Tombstone. I’m you huckleberry is right up my alley.

OreetCocker's avatar

Would have to say Frank Martin out of the Transporter series of films, even with the dodgy accent he kicks ass. Second choice would be The Hoff aka Knightrider ;-)

ucme's avatar

@Silhouette Kilmer played him mighty fine.Steals the movie for me.

SmashTheState's avatar

River Tam. She’d kick seven kinds of shit out of all the rest of the people being mentioned here at the same time. With her mind. Hand her a gun and she’ll really get dangerous.

jaytkay's avatar

Catwoman
Or maybe Catwoman
I like Catwoman, too
Or perhaps Catwoman
I can’t decide. I guess Catwoman would be OK.

ucme's avatar

@SmashTheState Excuse my ignorance, who might the aforementioned River Tam be exactly?

ucme's avatar

@jaytkay That’s an awful lot of pussy.Sounds like a night in Amsterdam.She would be more than capable of scratching a fair share of eyeballs out i’m sure.

OreetCocker's avatar

Damn Catwoman….........meow

GrumpyGram's avatar

DOG the Bounty Hunter.

Silhouette's avatar

@ucme He owned that role!

SmashTheState's avatar

@ucme A petite, waifish young girl from Firefly/Serenity, who just happens to be able to kick the ever-loving shit out of entire roomfuls of mutant cannibals. ”My turn.

ucme's avatar

@SmashTheState Ahh i’m impressed.I bet she makes a mean turkey dinner as well. A kick ass gal & a great cook, would make for a fine mistress methinks.

Blondesjon's avatar

Hans Gruber, unless I am apt to be attacked by John McClane, in which case I’m fucked.

filmfann's avatar

Hard to improve on Darth Vader

anartist's avatar

Hannibal Lector would get rid of threats nicely.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I’d likely wind up advising them, having actual bodyguard experience. I wouldn’t mind spending some time with Tasha Yar though.

lillycoyote's avatar

Robert De Niro in Cape Fear, Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction and Malcom McDowell in A Clockwork Orange. They could each take and 8 hour shift. Scary, scary dudes, well… plus one dudette.

prescottman2008's avatar

I like “Bryan Mills”/Liam Neeson in “Taken”. “Strider” from “The Lord of the Rings”.

tinyfaery's avatar

Evil Willow.

ubersiren's avatar

Buffy, of course!

anartist's avatar

@AstroChuck aw gee i wanted to pick him but just couldn’t pick a movie and “Ghost Rider” didn’t cut it. Neither did “Damn Yankees”

AstroChuck's avatar

@anartist- Satan isn’t a he. Satan is my ex-mother-in-law.
Or rather was my ex-mother-in-law.

anartist's avatar

And what did she star in?

Dr_Dredd's avatar

Scorpius from Farscape. One nasty dude!

lillycoyote's avatar

@AstroChuck was your ex-mother-in-law? Does that mean she is again? That she is currently your mother-in-law? Maybe you shouldn’t refer to here has Satan, then.

Chongalicious's avatar

Doc Oc. Why??? Because he’s fucking awesome!!! lol

AstroChuck's avatar

@lillycoyote- Let’s just say she now has pennies on her eyes.

lillycoyote's avatar

@AstroChuck Hence the past tense. I get it now. I can be a little slow on the uptake sometimes

jazmina88's avatar

Dudley doright…..Bullwinkle, no, I’l’ll take DOG

faye's avatar

No one mentioned all the rolls Steven Seagall played. He was always a woman protector and kicked hell out of the bad guys. I always wanted him to be my next door neighbor.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

The Duke could take care of business in any role. IMHO “The Quiet Man” was his finest.

bunnygrl's avatar

@Blondesjon already picked my first choice Hans Gruber so unless we can share, I’ll have to pick The Sheriff of Nottingham instead, or can I have both? pretty please….. <bats eyes> one for day shift and the other for night duties. What?? A girl can dream can’t she? lol

Berserker's avatar

Michael Myers.

Dr_Dredd's avatar

@Symbeline The SNL Michael Myers or the Halloween Michael Myers? :-)

ucme's avatar

@Symbeline As an added bonus he would be very easy to negotiate with in terms of wages.I mean shut the fuck up won’t be necessary.

meagan's avatar

The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog

Blondesjon's avatar

that rabbit is dynamite

Chongalicious's avatar

@faye No one mentioned those roles because he played the good guy and we’re talking about villains >:D lol

faye's avatar

@Chongalicious I guess my speed read was a skip read, thanks.

Berserker's avatar

@ucme Until he gets pissed and scalps my face off, anyway. XD

Chongalicious's avatar

@faye It’s all good :) and no problem!

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

Snidely Whiplash. :)

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