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celticmoonlight's avatar

Whats the most idiotic thing anyone has ever said to you?

Asked by celticmoonlight (36points) June 7th, 2010

you know those moments when you step back and think “wow”

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37 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

“Who did your nose?”

ChaosCross's avatar

“You gay for insert friend name here?”

talljasperman's avatar

An old man asked me why I don’t just lift up a womans skirt and fool around with her…He died of brain cancer 2 months after.

ubersiren's avatar

“When your son comes over, I just want to get the hell out of there…” ~ my brother-in-law, my three year old son’s dick wad of an uncle.

chyna's avatar

“I don’t like your name, can I call you something else?” Um, you can call me gone.

SeventhSense's avatar

Poor guy wanted one last time for himself.

Zaku's avatar

Might be, “What? Spoons and spades? I’m going to kill you!”
– Skinhead, who then acted like he was going to try to beat me up.

Zaku's avatar

Oh, there was also, “I’d rather f a cow than f [girl’s name], wouldn’t you?” – this from a fellow student in first or second grade.

DominicX's avatar

“Are you gay because you hate women?”

Yeah, exactly. In fact, I chose to be gay because I couldn’t get a girl and decided to try the other sex. Well, guess what? I like it. :)

And yes, most of the super idiotic things that have been said to me have something to do with being gay or Catholic.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

“Are you six feet tall?”

SeventhSense's avatar

Well that would be my mother to me and my girlfriend at the time. My girlfriend was in her late 30’s and when the subject of bringing a child into the world came up, she said, “Well if the child has Down Syndrome [based upon the risk of her age] you could always have an abortion”...this from a woman who is by her own admission Pro Life today. I just looked at her like she was insane. If she was a man and not my mother I would have punched him.

Silhouette's avatar

“You know you’re going to go to hell right? “God does not forgive non believers you know? ’ “Can I come in a tell you all you shoukld know about God?” The last one is my personal favorite. Fuck no is always my answer.


A stranger once asked if my two little daughters were actually mine, because “they are so fair and have such soft, pale complexions and I have a darkish olive (tanned) complexion”!! After absorbing the silliness of her comment, I remarked “Yes they are, but my girls inherited their Mom’s fair complexion and not my permanent tan!” The stranger left, puzzled by my ambiguous remark. And this idiotic inquiry happened during the winter, when it was cold and most people weren’t tanned! Lol.

zenele's avatar

Why were so many people upset about what Helen Thomas said about Israel?

Pandora's avatar

My son had a speech problem when he was two. A neighbor told me that she read it was bound to happen because my husband and I are two different races and our genes could not mix well so our children would be born with a mental handicap.
Of course I did not believe her because I wasn’t born mentally handicap but I was pissed off at her for weeks.
Wish I knew her still today so she can see for herself that both of my children actually have a high IQ.

Vunessuh's avatar

Years ago someone asked me what the name of my cult was and where we go to worship the devil when I told her I was an atheist. I laughed at first because I thought she was joking. She wasn’t. When I realized she wasn’t, I did one of those things where you gradually let the laugh wear off. Then I pointed to something and walked away.

About a year ago, a drunk guy at a club walked up to me and asked me if he could stick it in my butt. I should have dickpunched him.


@DominicX Too funny!!!! (But sad too, considering how ignorant some people can be).

Pandora's avatar

oh, I just thought of another one. My sister and I look the total opposite. She has brown thick curly hair and I have straight black hair. I have a dark olive complexion and she is extremely fair with light brown eyes where mine are so dark most people can’t see my iris. Even our features are different. The only thing we have in common is our height and our sex.
A guy came up to us once at a party and asked us if we were identical twins. We said no and he still didn’t believe us. Never once did we ever run into people who even believed we were siblings.
Of course he was drunk but it was one of the most idiotic things we ever heard.

SeventhSense's avatar

Ok if I’m not getting lurve I’m taking my ball and going home… Good night.


@SeventhSense I think that was weird that your mother just brought up such a question at such a time. That was indelicate of her, I have to say. (But i think she meant well, don’t you think? Just inappropriate at the time.)

chyna's avatar

@SeventhSense Much Lurve. I’m sure your g/f was stunned.

Mamradpivo's avatar

“Sarah Palin would make a great President.”

liminal's avatar

“It was nice of you to adopt those nigger children.”

Nullo's avatar

Keith Olberman has some gems.

But my personal favorite comes from my own time on the ‘tubes.
Back on the ol’ AIROW we had a long-running thread whose title asserted that, “There is no god.” Therein lay the longest, foulest, most idiotic post in the history of the universe. There is no paraphrasing this steamer; suffice it to say that its author spent some 6/8ths of it on very odd and ridiculously explicit blasphemy, and the rest on how much he hated God, believers in general and Christians in particular and wished horrible things on all parties.

Aethelwine's avatar

“I think someone has accessed our computer. I posted something on Facebook the other day and nobody has commented on it.”

Nullo's avatar

@jonsblond Awww, no fair! Tech misunderstandings are too easy.

Trillian's avatar

While working the appointment line I got a woman somehow who was apparently at another base who kept insisting that I tell her when some flight was expected. I kept explaining that I was the appointment desk for a clinic. Her only response, which she stated several times was “But I pushed five”!

roundsquare's avatar

“India? Is that in South America somewhere?”

Aethelwine's avatar

@Nullo What about people that post: “I dont care about your farm, or your fish, or your park, or your mafia”...

Oh! btw- here’s a drink and a hug. Oh yeah, you’ve also been hit by a meatball. poke

What’s the difference?????? ;)

Nullo's avatar

@jonsblond That’s just Facebook Madness coming to the fore. Perplexing, more than idiotic. :D

Cruiser's avatar

Me and a group of friends got pulled over by the cops and after much ado this tiny short short Sgt walks up to me with his hands on his hips and asks me….“How come you are so tall and your friends are so small?”

WTH!?! I was dumbfounded…I tied real hard not to laugh out loud! It still cracks me up to this day!!

ucme's avatar

I know you are but what am I. x 5 I almost became my hometown’s first child murderer ;¬}

tedibear's avatar

“The Beatles caused the drug problem in America.” Said by my mother when I was about 16. I laughed. She wasn’t kidding. Told my middle sister (a huge Beatles fan and never a drug user) that I laughed and she asked if mom was done giving me the evil-mom-look yet.

SeventhSense's avatar

Stunned and hurt.
Nope she’s just a narcissist.
I think I inherited it from her…I hope they can’t see my thoughts…oh shit

Nullo's avatar

I hear stories about people who will flip out while shopping, and will scream at and berate the Associates for even minor things, like having run out of roasted chickens.
One woman nearly went bonkers because the customer ahead of her in line was paying with food stamps, and the transaction was taking longer than usual. She started screaming at the cashier to get a manager or someone to open up another lane for her. She got a manager, and I think that she may have been asked to do her shopping someplace else.

mattbrowne's avatar

We can’t prove a negative.

bunnygrl's avatar

Years ago when I was at uni like a lot of students I temped through an agency. On one assignment I was working the switchboard at a large insurance company. All I did all day was to answer the phone and re-direct the calls through to the right department, home claims etc though to home dept, pet claims and enquiries…. yada yada (yeh, it really was as thrilling as it sounds lol.) One call I had to hit hold because I couldn’t stop the laughter, so had to compose myself and put her through. Call went thus:
me: “Good afternoon <company name> how may I direct your call please?”
caller: “put me through, I need to make a claim”
me: “which department may I direct your call to please madam?”
caller: “what??? what’s wrong with you? equine, equine you stupid girl!!! can you not see the horse!!!”
seriously…. is it something about country air or…..

More recently at work, I’m chatting away to a customer and helping her pack her shopping (I work in the happy land of retail… for UK jellies, with one of the bigger supermarket chains) when a customer maybe 2 or 3 behind her sneezes. I look down my queue to the man and smile at him and say “bless you”, then go back to helping my customer with her bags. I then carry on working through my queue.

Sneezy customer waits till its his turn to be served and then yells at me “how dare you speak to me like that” I apologised and said I didn’t know what I’d said that could have offended him, running the past couple of customers exchanges through my head trying to think what I’d maybe said to one of them that might have gotten him so steamed (and boy was he angry). No need though because he carried right on yelling at me about “how dare you presume that I’m a Christian” etc, which is when the penny dropped that he was the one I’d said bless you to when he sneezed. So, again I apologised, and said I hadn’t meant any offence it was just something I (and lots of people) said whenever anyone sneezed. He wasn’t having it and continued yelling, a colleague took him over to another checkout and to be honest I was glad to see the back of him. I later found out from my Manager that on his way out of the store he’d gone to the customer service desk and complained about me, which of course has to be written down in the service book. He dictated to my colleague what to write (seriously.. wow!)when she was completing the form and then made a complaint about her, saying that she had…. you’re gonna love this guys “poor penmanship”.

There is an argument for, as Jimmy Carr (gotta love him lol) said on QI “the gene pool needs a little chlorine now and again”
hugglys xx

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