Social Question

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Gentlemen, do you ever sit down to pee?

Asked by Hawaii_Jake (30801points) June 9th, 2010

First thing in the morning, I’m not very alert. Years ago I got in the habit of sitting to pee at this time to avoid spraying all over the place.

What about you? Ever sit to pee?

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34 Answers

JLeslie's avatar

I know many men who do this.

theichibun's avatar

Only when I’m sick and worry that if I stay standing for too long. Or when I’m also taking a dump.

AstroChuck's avatar

I sit down when I go in the middle of the night. I do it for two reason; one, I don’t want to wake up too much so that I may easily go back to sleep, and; two, there are always accuracy concerns when half-asleep.

BoBo1946's avatar

As my grandfather said so many times, “never stand when you can sit!” Not a threat to my masculinity!

Btw, this is when i’m at home…other places, no!

Lightlyseared's avatar

As @BoBo1946 says why stand when you can sit (and read the newspaper).

ucme's avatar

Nah, other than when drunk, which I stated on another thread, I’m an accurate aim when it comes to pee pee.I’ve even perfected the art of the no hander, that beast is on auto pilot & still hits the mark.So for me it’s stand to attention all the way.

Nullo's avatar

Only when Everything Must Go.

rebbel's avatar

Yes, always (when at home or at my girlfriend’s house).

jrpowell's avatar

I’m a sitter. Sitting seems easier than lifting and lowering the seat.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Lightlyseared for sure my friend.. it is my only time to sit on a throne!

talljasperman's avatar

when ever I feel like it.

zenele's avatar

Real men sit and pee.

talljasperman's avatar

I wonder if anyone stands while pooing…I tried it a couple of times… not a good thing to do.

ucme's avatar

Hmm, sit or stand, decisions decisions. A compromise for the indecisive would be to perfect the art of “hovering.” Not for most but an alternative anyhoo.

CMaz's avatar

Never, and at night it becomes a skill thing.

Michael_Huntington's avatar

If I get a raging boner that’s hard to control, then yes. Edit: I would sit and press down my boner to piss inside the toilet
I am also…* pulls out sunglasses *
...piss poor at aiming while standing

CMaz's avatar

@Michael_Huntington – You sit when you have a raging boner?

I don’t know about you but if I did that. It would be hung up under the seat, pressing against the inside of the toilet. And, if I left it out. I would be peeing on the shower curtain.

wilma's avatar

@ChazMaz LOL!
I am a woman, but I do hover in most public restrooms.

casheroo's avatar

I dated a man who only was weird when he stood. I don’t know what my husband does in the middle of the night…the stream sounds too loud for it to be sitting lol

FutureMemory's avatar

Why would having a raging boner cause you to sit when you pee? You can’t just push said boner down? And as Chaz said, it would press against the underside of the seat…which not only feels weird and is kinda gross, but you run the risk of peeing through the space in between the seat and bowl…I would rather pull the shower curtain aside and go in the tub.

BoBo1946's avatar

LMAO… have got to read this one…LONG, but very funny!

(the male author was responding to a woman who accidentally walked into the men’s restroom):

Please don’t feel bad. It wasn’t you entering the men’s washroom that caused that guy to pee on the guy next to him. Hell, we do that all the time. It’s rare for us guys to ever hit what were aiming for. Sometimes I go into the washroom, start to pee, and then just start spinning around; just so I’ll make sure I hit something.

You see, something you ladies should understand by now is that men’s penises have a mind of their own. A guy can go into a bathroom stall because all the urinals are being used, take perfect aim at the toilet, and his penis will still manage to piss all over the roll of toilet paper, down his left pant leg, and onto his shoe. I’m telling ‘ya
those little buggers can’t be trusted.

After being married 28 years my wife has me trained. I’m no longer allowed to pee like a man – standing up. I am required to sit down and pee. She has convinced me that this is a small price to pay. Otherwise if she had gone to the toilet one more time at night and either sat on a pee soaked toilet seat, or fell right into the toilet because I forgot to put the seat down, she was going to kill me in my sleep.

Now another thing us guys don’t usually like to talk about, but because you and I have become such good friends and you think I’m a classy guy, I might as well be candid with you because it’s a real problem, and you ladies need to be understanding. It’s the dreaded “morning wood”.

Most mornings us guys wake up with two things. A tremendous desire to pee, and a penis so hard you could cut diamonds with it. Well, no matter how hard you try, you can’t get that thing to bend, and if it don’t bend you can’t aim, well hell, if you can’t aim you have no choice but to piss all over the wallpaper and that damn fuzzy toilet seat cover you women insist on putting on the toilet.

And by the way, when you use those damn fuzzy toilet seat covers, the friggin’ toilet seat won’t stay up by itself. So that means we have to use one hand to hold up the toilet seat and the other hand to try to control ourselves for that perfect aim.

Now sometimes, when you’re newly married, (and I know the guys in here will back me up on this) you think you can get the toilet seat with that damn fuzzy thing to stay up. You jam it back and compress that fuzzy thing until the seat stays there. OK, so you start to pee, but then that compressed fuzzy starts to decompress and without warning that damn toilet seat comes flying down and tries to whack off your

So us guys will not lift a toilet seat with a fuzzy, it’s just not safe. I tried to delicately explain this morning situation to my wife. I told her . . . look, it won’t bend. She said, “sit down like I told you to do
all the rest of the time.” OK. I tried sitting down on the toilet with “morning wood”.

Well it’s is very hard to get it bent under the toilet seat, and before I could manage it, I had pissed all over the bath towels hanging on the wall across the room. Now, even if you are sitting down and you can get it forced down under the toilet seat, when you start to pee the pee shoots out from the crack between the bottom of the toilet seat and the top of the bowl. You piss all over the back of your knees and it runs down the back of our legs on to that damn matching fuzzy horseshoe rug you keep putting on the floor in front of the toilet.

I have found the only effective maneuver to deal with this morning urinary dilemma is to assume the flying superman position laying over the toilet seat. This takes a great deal of practice, perfect balance, and split time precision but it’s the only sure way to get all the pee in the bowl
during the first morning pee.

So you ladies have to understand that us men are not totally to blame. We are sensitive to your concerns about hygiene and bathroom cleanliness, but there are times when things just get beyond our control.

It’s not our fault, it’s just Mother Nature.

Now, if it was Father Nature,... there wouldn’t have been a problem!!!

knitfroggy's avatar

My husband said he sits to pee at work because he wants to get off his feet for a few minutes. I thought that was terribly funny!

CMaz's avatar

@FutureMemory – All you have to do is lean a little bit more forward. lol

Avoiding a kink in the plumbing.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

It’s a cultural thing to teach your male children to stand to pee – my best friend coming from a Middle Eastern (Pakistani) background never learned to stand. My partner, sexed as male, sometimes stands and sometimes pees – he was raised here. I think it’s irrelevant, personally and should be up to the individual to decide.

Sarcasm's avatar

I’m someone who has a huge aversion to hearing “toilet sounds” when I’m outside of the toilet. Hearing urine (or god forbid, poop) splash in the toilet makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable.
And since I like to treat others as I wish to be treated, when I stand, I aim for the edge of the water for minimal noise.

If it’s been a long time since I’ve urinated (and thus, have a lot built up), I’ll sit down to reduce noise further.
I’ll also sit down if I’ve had an exhausting day and my legs don’t feel like standing.

kevbo's avatar

Pretty much never.

and I’m sort of annoyed that I was taught to wipe instead of shake as a kid, which I guess tells you who was taking me to the bathroom.

FutureMemory's avatar

I aim for the edge of the water for minimal noise.

Me too!

DominicX's avatar

Yes. Never in college of course or any public bathroom, but at home I do it every now and then. Not for any specific reason; I just prefer to do that sometimes.

And there is nothing wrong with that. :)

El_Cadejo's avatar

Sometimes. Usually in the middle of the night so i can stay in my trance and not turn the lights on and not have to worry about pissing everywhere. I also sit when under the influence of something for the same reasons.

i dont want to be trying to aim accurately and pee and then all of a sudden the toilet shifts five feet (or so it seems to my influenced state of mind) and then there is piss everywhere lol

echotech10's avatar

There is nothing “girly” or “feminine” about men sitting to urinate. I do it, more often now than in the past. I do not feel like any less of a man because of it. I am secure in my gender, and feel no shame by sitting to pee. There are a few reasons for this: 1) my aim is poor at best, and thus, has pissed off my wife on numerous occasions, which makes it is easier to just sit and forget about it. 2) I am the only man in a three person household, therefore the seat is always down anyway. 3) I sometimes find that I need to poop when I am peeing, so I am already seated for business. 4) We are currently potty training out 3-year old, and she has already attempted to pee while standing, because “dada does it”, and she follows me into the bathroom on a regular basis without regards to whether I am peeing or pooping 5) It is more comfortable for me, and my bladder feels more empty afterwards.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

@echotech10 : very well put, and welcome to Fluther.

echotech10's avatar

@hawaii_jake : thank you…happy to be here

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