What would be an inappropriate response to an irrate police officer who just pulled you over?

Dammit, what now?

What’s eating you?

There’ve been a couple of good threads about this – but its always fun to hear some new ones. But check this out, too

“Get over it,Fucker.” ;)

Sorry sir, but I ate the last doughnut 10 minutes ago!

Hello… ASSHOLE!

Wake up on the wrong side of the bed, did we?

@perspicacious So the cop was Gilbert Grape, interesting.

@ucme I didn’t see that TV show or movie.

Sorry I was speeding, but I had to get to my court-ordered safe driving class on time!

@zenele I actually thought I asked this or something closely related to it.Definitely rang several bells.Hey ho, hit & miss.

Since you are heading home. Can you return these panties to your wife?

@ChazMaz Said in an effeminate really camp voice, the ASSHOLE one that is.Regarding the panties, “You must excuse those holes. I had to bite those fuckers off, the bitch was keen.I could give you the money for a new pair, say 50 cents”
@perspicacious Never said you did,neither have I come to that.

“You have very bad teeth. You need to see a dentist.”

Offer a swig of beer from the can your drinking from.

There’s this list that someone once sent me:

1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.

3.Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Officer! That’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That’s how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says “Gee Son….Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?” You probably shouldn’t respond with,“Gee Officer your eyeslook glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?”

ROFL to #3, @bob_!

No, it’s a cardigan.

“Uniforms sooo turn me on…”

“Well! If it isn’t Chief Wiggum! Aren’t I lucky?”

“Can I have your autograph Mr. Fife?”

I don’t suppose you’ve met your quota already….

But I told them not to get a stripper!

Before my wife and I got married, she talked me into parking the car in the park, during the middle of the night for some coupling, in my Subaru.
While cuddling, afterwards, I saw a sherriff pull up behind my car. I jumped back into the drivers seat (watch out for that stick shift!), and tried putting my jogging pants on. Somehow, I got both my legs in one leg of the pants. i am struggling with this, and the officer is at the window, tapping.
I rolled down the window, and I swear the only thing I could think to say was “How fast was I going officer?”
He took a long look, and said he would be back in 5 minutes, and I should not be there at that time.
I wasn’t.

@filmfann
That. Is. Hilarious!

@filmfann
That. Is. Hysterical! I laughed so hard I woke up my boyfriend. Now he’s laughing…

One more.
What seems to be the officer, problem?

@bob_ Terrific answers.

You know what we have to do now! looks at empty passenger seat

I was on my way to the station with an emergency order of donuts.
I told your wife to suck eggs.
What else do you use your baton for?
I have your name on my ass, wanna see?
Wow, is that donut orbiting you?

Your mom is in my trunk, I couldn’t get her to shut up.

Somebody sure needs to get laid!

@filmfann BWAHAHAHA!!!!!!

My code of ethics doesn’t allow me to talk to the Gestapo.

Very inappropriate. They might actually shoot you.

@filmfann Hahahahahahah!!! Perhaps that was a question best asked of you wife!!! HAHAHAHAHAAHa!! (tHAT’ WAS GREAT!)

“Make it snappy; can’t you see I’m in a hurry?” or, “Are you just Bored or what??”
@ChazMaz Love it !!! lol
@Dr_Lawrence Laughed at that one!!

@filmfann That really Was great. Good enough to forward to friends!

Officer: “Do you know why I pulled you over?”

Me: ” Yep.”

Officer: “Well, why?”

Me: “If you don’t know I’m certainly not going to tell you.”

Officer: “You have a smart ass attitude.”

Me: “Oh, I was mistaken, I thought you pulled me over for something else, not an attitude adjustment.”

Officer: “You need to slow down and watch your mouth before it gets you in trouble. I’m going to give you a warning this time.

Me: “Thank you.”

This actually turned out okay but it was touch and go there for awhile.

They don’t like the finger either, see what happens here

@Silhouette What a damn fool! The guy in the video too! (JK!)

“Your fly is open.”

And after he looks:
“SUCKER!”