Can you trust an atheist to watch your house for the weekend?
Asked by
bolwerk (
10337
)
June 11th, 2010
Are atheists so amoral that they would automatically do something wrong in your house? Or is it safe to let them have a key to feed your dog and stuff?
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87 Answers
Depends on the atheist. If the atheist were a career burglar who had spent half his life in jail, then no. Wouldn’t trust them. Well maybe. If they seemed to have turned their life around.
Now if the atheist ran a soup kitchen or other philanthropic group, and had proven all their lives that they put others in front of themselves—that they live simply and ask for little but give a lot—I’d have no problem trusting them.
Of course, we all know that for every benign atheist, there are at least 243 dishonest atheists. If only this were a true religious nation. We could then force all those atheists to belief. Either that, or follow the exemplary example of the Catholic church and administer death by burning. Ahahahahahahahahah!
I’m not sure if this is serious or not… If it is serious, I’m gonna spirit bomb your ass.
I can’t speak for all atheists, but I don’t think we’re amoral. Nor do I think we’re immoral. I don’t think faith, or lack thereof, has any effect on one’s ability or inability to feed dogs and stuff.
The more I check out your profile, the more I think you’re being sarcastic. Carry on.
Nah, last time I let one of them atheists watch my house, it ended up a communist factory full of feminazis having sex with my dogs. What a mess!
No, of course not.
Don’t you know that 100% of all criminals are atheists?
Rapists, arsonists, murderers, white-collar thieves, yes, even moslim terrorists as well as christian fundamentalists…, ALL are atheists.
Not.
This question cracked me up. GQ!
Absolutely not. They’d probably have a satanic party while you’re gone.
@Disc2021 Seriously, and then I’d be mad for having missed it!
I don’t see any correlation between one’s belief and one’s quality. As long as know he/she is certified(if necessary) and looks and act like a good and dependable person.
Good god no!! Nasty petulant types besmirching the good name of the lord. Burn them at the stake & have done with their foul stench. Ghost written by Carrie’s Mum ;¬}
You people are sick! Now this poor person will have their dogs eaten, their mail stolen, all the damn food will be gone because of the food orgies those people hold every weekend and the couch will be covered in GOD knows what!
snort
never could keep a straight face haha. This question amuses me.
I don’t know why all of this sounds so good to me, lol
I was leaning toward trusting the child molesting priest, but you guys make the atheist sound like a lot more fun.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir Ha, yeah. Either way, I’d never stoop to such a level. I’d only have a zealous, devoted Christian (preferably Catholic) watch my house while I’m gone.
I wouldn’t. Atheists are well know for their practical jokes, you might come home and find your locks have all been changed, your dog has been shaved nekked, the pages of your bible have all been glued together and your toilets have saran wrap over the bowl.
Hey! I’m an atheist! I resemble that remark!
you can. I know many atheists, they’re nice people :D I used to be one ^^
I mean, everyone could do bad things, don’t be a racist
I’m in a houseful of atheists (me, my wife, my daughter). We trash it every night and torture the cat. We take the fish out of water until it nearly suffocates and then stick it back in just in the nick of time just to see it suffer. I shoot my bb gun at my neighbor’s window. Can’t take us anywhere.
@Rarebear hahhaha, I spit out salad laughing, especially at the image of the tortured cat!
Why is it some religious people think they corner the market on morality?
@Silhouette ‘cause of atheists like us – clearly, we can’t take anything seriously, let alone morality. duh.
Oh holy Moses no! Atheist is far to hard of a word to spell. It’s obviously reserved for Satan loving smarty-pants-es. They’ll probably bring science into your house while you’re not looking!
@JeanPaulSartre Yeah, in a big black witchcraft box – ha, Science in a Box! a new thriller, coming to theaters near you…
@Simone_De_Beauvoir Starring Mel Gibson, as the unwitting home owner, of course. He’ll have to stab the atheist with an American flag at some point… preferably in such a way that the atheist is affixed to the science box outside where god can use the flag pole as a lightening rod and send that sinner to hell.
Anyone else feel like looking over your shoulder to make sure these two aren’t sneeking up behind you?
@JeanPaulSartre ah yes that is the official story – I generally just get pregnant so I can self-abort and use stem cells to construct more atheists, actually
I once let Simone and JP look after my house. They ended up starting a baby farm that they are now raising to be, you guessed it, ATHEISTS!!! Now look what is happening, they are trying to make a children’s movie about Mel Gibson, flags, science boxes, and lightening. Which is surely going to result in corrupting hell when all those children die from their immorality. I feel kinda bad about this, you know, opening my home up to those atheists and their stem cell harvesting.
@Adirondackwannabe LOL!
@liminal I wish I was blowing your…anyway. There is a time and a place for family swinging and in your own home isn’t it – you have to wait until someone asks you to house sit.
Prisons are full of innocent Bible thumping Christians. All innocent.
Shh. I’ve discovered their secret weapon. One night, they’re going to sneak into our homes to deliver their foul cargo… books! That’s right, they’re going to visit our houses and leave books behind. Confronted with that, our children might be tempted to open their minds. Whatever shall we do?!
@Simone_De_Beauvoir ah yes that is the official story – I generally just get pregnant so I can self-abort and use stem cells to construct more atheists, actually.
Funniest thing you’ve ever said. I’m still LOL’ng.
You guys don’t even want to get me started on the time the mormons looked after my house for the weekend. Who knew that was the real reason for the skinny black ties.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir giggle
@FutureMemory Look, I don’t know why you’re not taking it seriously but it’s quite a complicated process – I have to use creationist calculations AND feng shui to figure out when exactly to force Alex into submission so that he gives up his sperm.
It’s a mystery why the “hell” of JPS’ daily life hasn’t driven him to accept Christ as his lord and savior.
@FutureMemory I talk about god all the time… well I mention god anyway… sometimes loudly…
@JeanPaulSartre blushes – nah, I have no such ability..I’m an atheist, after all, we don’t blush.
I have no problem with it.
But, my dog always says grace before eating.
I think the house would actually be safer, since the atheist wouldn’t even think about going to Church on Sunday.
the only people who do bad things are people who have learned to do bad things. there’s no way to tell on the surface whether an atheist or theist has learned to do bad things. you just make a judgement call.
It seems that most of the harm, recently, had been caused by the faithful. Everything from the “trickle down economy” and the 9–11 tragedies have been caused by people that pose as deeply religious.
I would rather trust my belongings to an atheist than to a TV preacher or devout politician.
“It seems that most of the harm, recently, had been caused by the faithful.”
I give it 50/50
“I would rather trust my belongings to an atheist than to a TV preacher or devout politician.”
Now that is information I can sink my teeth into.
Amen brother. :-)
I entrust my property to people who have earned my trust, God-fearing or no.
Every atheist is different, but considering that religious people don’t follow the morals of their religious texts and determine their own morals too, I think you’d be pretty safe.
An atheist maybe, a first generation Korean, never. Imagine if they misunderstood your instructions to give the dog something to eat?
The only atheists you shouldn’t trust are the gay black ones, obviously.
Of course, @JeanPaulSartre and @Simone_De_Beauvoir couldn’t be trusted even if they weren’t atheists. ;)
I even let atheists watch my house when I am home.
What I usually do is let the athiests house-sit, but I put up the Mormons accross the way (with binoculars) to keep an eye on them. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to both of them, the Muslims are listening in on the wire taps and bugs I had installed in both places. Meanwhile (again), the UUs are watching the whole thing on closed-circuit cameras like some kinda twisted reality show.
The Catholics are oblivious to the whole thing as they’re down at the playground scoping out ::ahem:: “converts”.
Me? I’m on holiday at a casino with the Jews (‘cuz they have all the money, natch).
Now I just need a Wiccan to conjure up a spell that’ll make me forget this ridiculous question.
@cprevite: Done. Don’t mess with the bag of frog heads on your front porch.
@KatawaGrey I thought you might step up to the plate, but wasn’t sure if you were busy that night or not.
What question?
Hey look…froggies! C’mere Kermit…
@janbb: When it comes to spells and chocolate chip cookies, I am always ready.
@KatawaGrey Oh… you can trust us… ish…
@cprevite “It’s not that easy being green
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves
When I think it could be nicer being red, or yellow or gold
Or something much more colorful like that”
Do you trust a Catholic priest to watch your little boy?
That does not work. (but I get your point). And not fair. That being the point.
That’s like saying to not let any mother watch your child because a few have killed their children.
Most Catholic priests are not child molesters.
Hopefully, you trust people with what is important to you, based on their character and how well you know them.
Most atheists don’t rob houses. I was trying to make a point. By using an analogy.
I know. :-)
Is that a statical fact? “Most atheists don’t rob houses”
I am assuming you mean hard core atheists.
What’s a “hard core” atheist? Seems like a toggle switch to me ;)
@bob_ this one time only, it’s not
Hard core as in there is nothing spiritual. No god or god like thing. Just nothing! ;-)
Then there is the, “I hope there is something out there. Just not what you are talking about.”
Does that fall under atheist?
Then there is the “there is a God, just not your God.”
And finally, “burn in hell if you do not listen to what MY God id saying.”
@ChazMaz I think “listen to what MY God id saying.” may be my favorite typo ever. =)
That’s interesting, although I’d say those are degrees of theism and not degrees of atheism. There is no god/gods etc is atheism. The rest are sort of diluted theism, albeit non-specific. I suppose I hope there’s something out there, but I don’t believe or worship or really spend time on something so improbable or likely scientifically explainable, which pretty much makes me an atheist by rote… although I’d say I just don’t think we, in this era, have the mental resources to waste on gods and demons and flying spaghetti monsters when we have real physical and obvious problems that will easily kill us before any rapture/heaven/whatever comes along.
@Dr_Dredd Not really. One could be an agnostic and an atheist, or they could be an agnostic theist. Agnostic just stems from A Gnostic – as in lacking knowledge – in this case, not knowing if there is a god or not. Another way to think of it is that theism is a scale of belief, and gnosticism is a scale of (perceived) knowledge.
@ChazMaz – You mean hard core atheists watching porn?
@JeanPaulSartre If you ever feel like antagonizing an agnostic, tell ‘em that the Latin equivalent of “agnostic” is (unless I misrecall) “ignoramus.” :D
@Nullo Nice!
However I don’t understand why people take offence at being called ignorant. I am happy to admit that I am totally ignorant of romantic comedies, geology and discordianism, but I don’t think that makes me any less of a respectable person.
@jfos Depends…they must first clarify as to what they mean by ignorant before they speak.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir Do you think that adds more value to the word, in that it can mean something different depending on who is saying it? Or does it depreciate the word’s value, since saying it requires an additional explanation on the intended meaning of it?
@jfos Eh, neither – it is what it is. I use the word differently in different contexts. I understand its intended meaning which is to say ‘one not aware of something’ but I also use it in terms of someone who ‘simply thrives on not knowing something they should know’.
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