Social Question

JLeslie's avatar

Do you feel compelled to tell people they are full of shit and you know it?

Asked by JLeslie (60700points) June 12th, 2010

So, what I am really talking about is when you know someone is purposely doing something, maybe it is lying, or they send you on an errand to distract you, or purposely block you so you can’t get by, and then they try to act like they are doing nothing purposeful. Do you feel like you have to tell them that you know what they are up to? Or, do you just ignore it and brush it off? Or, maybe make a mental note, and remember for any future interactions, but say nothing?

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31 Answers

mYcHeMiCaLrOmAnCe's avatar

say nothing, keep walking

zenele's avatar

What happened, dear?

gemiwing's avatar

It depends on my relationship with the person and the situation. Also- how important it is in the big scheme. Cheating spouse? Hell yes I’ll confront them. Random idiot at a bar? Not important enough.

Steve_A's avatar

@gemiwing I like your answer.

CMaz's avatar

First, you need to HONESTY decide if they are full of shit or is it a personal issue.

Either way. Ignore (avoid) them if you can’t get a grip on it. :-)

sakura's avatar

I think I’d say nothing to begin with but if the same thing carried on happening I’d find it hard to keep quiet, I’d want to know why they felt the need to do these things.

john65pennington's avatar

Being a police detective for 13 years, i ran into a whole lot of suspected criminals that were full of it. and yes, i have told them so on many occasions. when i have the proof of the crime they have committed, i would tell them anything…...even a lie. the Supreme Court has ruled that the police can tell a suspect a lie, to obtain the truth. i once told a suspect that i was a preacher and he said i was full of s___t! so, i guess it works both ways. john

JLeslie's avatar

@zenele Haha. Yesterday, nothing major, nothing that really matters. My husband and I were at a Porsche club event at the Redbirds stadium (minor league baseball) and we all had to wait until the crowds were pretty much gone before we moved our cars out of the pavilion area where they were on display. Anyway, earlier, around the 8th inning, we had asked if we could leave early before the game was over and there were not many people coming out of the stadium yet. We (my husband and I) went directly to security and asked, we did not just try to pull our car out, because we knew they wanted us to wait until after the fireworks which were to be post game. They told us no. So, ok, I guess it has to be no,

So after the fireworks, we all went down to our cars, and the operations guy at the stadium came to us and said he would let us know when it is ok to pull out, our car and a few others were kind of separate from the majority of the cars. While we sat in the car waiting for the signal (our car is still off by the way. People are pouring out of the stadium, we know we will have to wait a least 5 or 10 minutes, its obvious) two young men start tossing a baseball back and forth in front of our car. I mean there are crowds, my car is a flippin’ Porsche that is expensive to repair if a baseball hits it, and I just think maybe they were purposely put there, because the operations guy did not trust we would wait since we had asked to leave early. I forgot to mention they seemed to stop tossing the ball at the time that the crowds thinned and they temporarily closed the gate from the stadium to stop the crowd from entering the area where our cars were. They seemed in tune with when we would be allowed to go.

What pisses me off most, is how it might reflect on the President of our club who organized the whole thing with the stadium. That we might come off as disrespectful to their rules, and it was not at all what was happening.

janbb's avatar

No, I let my friend do it because he does it so well.

zenele's avatar

@JLeslie You had me at Porsche.

JLeslie's avatar

@zenele You have to stop it! Haha. Come on! :) :) :)

partyparty's avatar

If it was a close friend, then I would feel compelled to say I knew how they were acting, and perhaps why they were acting in this manner.
If it was a work colleague, or just an acquaintance then I would ignore them.
They wouldn’t be such important people in my life, that I would feel the necessity to react towards them.

zenele's avatar

Sometimes, it’s better to think twice before responding. As you know, I always pause and reflect before speaking out – especially before writing something here.

A little diplomacy goes a long way. A little courtesy.

Not everything has to be said immediately.

Take a deep breath.

Count to 10 – in a language you don’t know.

When in doubt, think of something funny. Maybe an awkward situation. Try to empathize with the other party. What if he’s having a really bad day?

Maybe he’s the ONLY GAY ESKIMO IN HIS TRIBE?

Silhouette's avatar

It’s not really a compulsion, it’s more of a poetic license and I decide on a case by case basis. Some, I tell directly to their face they are completely full of shit. Others I just <look knowingly> at until they can no longer meet my gaze, Most, I simply smile that sad knowing smile and go on with my day.

Seaofclouds's avatar

@JLeslie I probably would have just waited for them to let us out if I didn’t have something I really needed to do. I would have gotten out of my car and asked the guys throwing the baseball around to stop throwing it near my car. If they refused, I would have stopped being nice and most likely ended up making a scene. Like you said, it’s a Porsche! I’ve been to a lot of car shows/events and one of the first things I learned and passed down to my son is that you respect the cars. You don’t touch them or do anything that could mess them up.

ipso's avatar

As I read it, you thought you were special because you have a “flippin’ Porsche”, and thought you could more or less demand to leave early. And when you were shut down – both by the authorities and by basketball players – you were indignant. And after, the more you think about it, you wanted some compassion online – so you came here looking for it. <So here is a big huuuuug!>

Is that what you mean by calling bullshit on someone?

tinyfaery's avatar

You a let a security guard hold you hostage? They have no right to tell you you cannot leave.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

That’s why I carry a taser.

You’d be absolutely shocked to see how I handle these situations.

Cruiser's avatar

I generally follow their lies or little stunt with light applause.

Trillian's avatar

I’m working really hard on not speaking out with a negative opinion when I think someone is full of shit. Sometimes I turn out to have been wrong, then I’m glad I kept my trap shut.

Kraigmo's avatar

I usually take the high road and stay silent, but there are a few things that set me off into confrontation mode: political talk (when they display a tone of knowing, and words of guessing), a sales pitch for an MLM program, or people who brag about something they stole.

But the stuff you gave examples on could all be misinterpretations or miscontruements in most situations, such as if a person is blocking me or something. I only become confrontational and direct when I know 100% that I got all my observations and facts accurate. It’s wrong to be insistent if there is room for doubt. If I’m suspicious I will confront with a question, but it won’t be an insistent question.

HungryGuy's avatar

Yes, and I’ve offended more people here on Fluther than I can count because of it…

HungryGuy's avatar

..but it’s mostly people on power trips or brainwashed by political correctness who I offend…

JLeslie's avatar

@ipso Then I wrote it poorly, or you misunderstood.. We, the club, had 12 Porsches parked at the stadium near the front entrance (it wasn’t really a car show). We new once the game was over, we would have to wait for the crowds to clear, obviously. We went before the game was over to ASK a security person if their was some way we could leave before the game was over, while it is was still reasonable and safe, because if we did not get out then we new it would be another hour (there are fireworks after the game, which we would have to wait for as well) and my husband was exhausted and wanted to get home. The game was longer than we had hoped, he had been up since very very early in the morning. Like I said when we asked, they said no and we accepted it, went back to our seats. We WAITED until the fireworks were over. We went down to our cars when everyone else was also leaving and each of us was by their cars. The point that it is a Porsche is almost irrelevant because I would not throw a baseball right in front, practically over any car, but one that is expensive and expensive to fix, seems even more ludicrous, but really any car would be expensive to repair, and cause a sucky argument about who is responsible to pay if something had happened.

@Seaofclouds I wanted to get out and tell those guys to stop it. If it had not been my car I would have felt compelled to go up to young guys and tell them to stop by anyone’s car, and as I mentioned crowds of people. The people is the worst part really. My husband told me not to. It wasn’t until this morning that I woke up and felt like I wanted to give the Operations Managaer a piece of my mind that I am not an idiot, that I take offense that he thinks we would just pull our car out while crowds were walking through, and that it should be evident we wouldn’t by the fact that we didn’t, even an hour before when we really would have preferred to leave, we respected the plan originally laid out, by asking for an exception and accepting they did not want us to do it.

Here is the trick. I will be at the stadium Sunday with my husbands company, they have box seats for a team building type of event (has nothing to do with being there Friday, totally unrelated). And I would love for him to see we are there again, my husband’s company actually does a lot of advertising with the stadium, and give him a little piece of my mind in a nice, sickening sweet way, so he understands my perspective. I probably would not even mention the kids throwing the ball, I would not directly accuse him of setting it up, except to say that, “while we waited for your signal to leave, I just wanted to let you know we noticed kids throwing a ball back and forth while the crowds were pouring out and with the cars nearby and no one from you security team did anything to stop them, they could have injured someone or something.”

Now here is what you don’t know yet. One of our club member’s Porsches, while driving through the gates from the garage to the entrance area got his car smacked, because they had not secured the gate nor had someone holding it. Nice dent across the side of his car. Also, during the game someone in the crowd was hit by a baseball and the ambulance had to go over etc. I don’t think there was any serious injury, but still isn’t that enough chaos for one day?

Lastly, I am really tired of men doing idiotic shit, and when women act like mothers and say, “don’t do that someone could get hurt.” They are angry at us for being a pain in the ass and nagging.

YARNLADY's avatar

I try to avoid associating with people like that, or I simply use my Power of Ignore. I rarely tell anybody off about anything. Life is too short to bother myself with such things.

mollypop51797's avatar

Only in some cases: they’re really pissing me off, I have the guts, I know them well enough to confront them

Most likely, no. I usually don’t want to start a “scene” but when they know that they’re doing it purposefully to annoy me I get mad. And no one wants to be near me when I’m mad… But, like others have said, I usually have more important things to do. I won’t sink to their level… unless necessary

JLeslie's avatar

@ipso I think I was not clear in my last post that when I say we asked for an exception to be able to leave early that the we is just my husband and me, not the whole group of Porsche people. And, if we had just got in our car and left, they really would not have been able to stop us, or do anything at all to us in any way, we were respecting their rules.

ipso's avatar

@JLeslie I apologize. My post was rude and I was a smartass.

“Less fancy-pants – more answer” is my motto

I meant the hug though!

mattbrowne's avatar

I try to ask questions that might allow them to figure it out for themselves.

JLeslie's avatar

@ipso You are forgiven. :) No sweat.

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