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Draconess25's avatar

Is it possible to love someone too much?

Asked by Draconess25 (4461points) June 13th, 2010

First of all, I’m half asleep. This will probably not make many sense.

I love both of my girlfriends so much that they invade my dreams & every waking thought. I can’t stand being away from them for a moment. I value their happiness more than my own life. Every tear they cry rips a piece from my heart.

Can you love someone too much?

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14 Answers

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@Draconess25 That’s true love you’re feeling. I think the real test of this is when you value your partners happiness and well-being at least as much as your own. When my lady passed away seven months ago, it tore out my heart and left me feeling that I had no reason to live.Meghan is still in my dreams always.

I don’t think it’s possible to love someone too much, but the way you express that love could stifle them. Too much “clinginess” can make a person feel trapped, unless all partners feel the need to be that way. Fortunately, we both felt that way, as did Meg and Gen.

Is Ellie or Rachel sick or hurt?

Draconess25's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land No, I’m just feeling rather sappy.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@Draconess25 That’s OK. I’m usually like that. Have you seen Ellie since you returned?

Draconess25's avatar

@stranger_in_a_strange_land Nope. I didn’t get home until 7pm. But we just got off the phone a few minutes ago. She’ll probably come over if she can escape the small children.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@Draconess25 Have fun making up for lost time, my dear <<wink>>.

marinelife's avatar

As long as you don’t lose yourself in the process of loving others, you cannot “love too much”.

john65pennington's avatar

Watch the Youtube video Addicted to Love, Robert Palmer.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Yes, but you want to watch out with sooooo much love, it can easily turn into hate, pressure and “suffocation” for both sides!

Marva's avatar

It sounds to me like you might be a little obssesive about your friends. Prefering soemone elses happiness over your LIFE might SOUND noble, but it’s imbalanced!
Them filling your every waking moment, not being able to keep apart, that all sounds like obssesion to me.
Sometimes we hang on tightly to people and let them fill our life completely when there is a certain emptyness that we feel. We “use” them to fill the gap.
Your very question tells me that you already have a gut feeling that something is imbalanced about the way you feel, I ask you just this one question:
If you could choose anything in the world, how would you like your life to be? how would you fill it?

Draconess25's avatar

@Marva No, I don’t feel inbalanced at all. I was just wondering if it was normal. Then again, it wouldn’t really matter to me if it wasn’t. They are all that keeps me sane. Before I opened my heart to them, I was borderline suicidal. Now, I finally feel whole.

dutchbrossis's avatar

No I don’t think you can love someone too much. That love needs to be expressed in a way that doesn’t make anyone involved feel uncomfortable though

Marva's avatar

@Draconess25 I am sorry, but you have just made it clear that I was right about you. To put so much weight in someone elses hands, “All that keeps you sane” is very dangerous, it is dependancy, not “love”. What if one of them was to let you down? that could happen even when someone doesn’t mean to.. will you return to thinking of suicide?

I am very happy to hear you are not thinking of such things at the moment, but I have to tell you, you describe a strong imbalance, and a thin thread. It’s good you have a support system now, that’s just the time to recieve help, so that eventually you could feel whole without depending on anyone else. Friends come and go, eventually.. the only constant in our lives is our SELF.

I know I am the only one to respond this way to your question, re-ask this question as “could I be obssesive?” and you will see others will join me. .

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

@Draconess25 Just remember that if all goes to hell, you have friends who care about you. Don’t do like I did and isolate yourself from people who wanted to help. I made things much more difficult for myself that way after Meg was killed.

You can’t live another persons life for them. A good relationship, however, is ones strengths complimenting anothers weaknesses. That’s not obsession, but a healthy symbiosis.

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