If a custodial parent is living by his/herself with the children, would you consider that person a single parent if the other parent is very active and looks after the children on a regular basis?

I believe the single in single parent is more of a signifier that the parent is not with partner rather than they’re raising the child by themselves but I see your point.

No – I would consider the kids to have two parents even if one is the custodial parent. I think of a single parent as one who is solely responsible for the children.

I am right between both of those answers. I was just thinking about this because I have a friend who has a 2½-year-old daughter. She is living by herself with the little girl but dad is close and looks after their child several times a week which often includes a sleep over and while mom is at work. Dad also picks up and drops her off. However, dad pays child support and the child officially lives with mom.

I have always considered “single parent” to mean the person is available for marriage and comes with a child.

I thought this was a simple question, before I tried to answer it. There’s more than a few layers to it though. Hmmm

@worriedguy : that’s so interesting, I never thought of it like that… as single vs. married, but more as living alone with a child and having sole custody!

I’d consider the person you describe as a lucky single parent… both parents are single, technically (if not married), and both people are parents… but a single parent does have a connotation of having the sole responsibility of raising a child alone without much help from the other biological parent. What if the single parent has a live in nanny who takes care of the child – they’re still a single parent, no?

this was my situation and I would never say I have a single parent. I lived with my mom and saw my dad every other day for 3 hours and every other weekend in high school and they spit a lot of expenses (in addition to my dad’s child support). Keep in mind they did not get along at all in any such way during this time. Single parent to me means one parent raising the child and even though my mom was my custodial parent they both raised me and my siblings. My experiences as a child of divorce are really different from people I know who fit my definition of single parents.

Maybe it is a literal vs. figurative thing. Literally, it would be someone who has a child that was cloned. Figuratively, it would be a descriptive for a divorced parent that is not in a relationship or hasn’t been adopted by an S/O, or is adopted by a single person not related, or even related for that matter.

I’ve heard “single parent” to describe both someone that was not in a relationship and also someone that was the sole parent.

When my ex-husband left and stopped having anything to do with my son, I considered myself a single parent because I had sole physical and legal custody and my ex-husband had nothing to do with my son. Now that I’m remarried and my husband is planning to adopt my son, I no longer consider myself a single parent because I have a partner in parenting my son. To me, my marital status had nothing to do with it only the fact that I was doing it alone at one time and I am not doing it alone anymore.

I thought single parent had to do with whether they were married or not, not how much time they were with their children.

My friend has a 2½ year old daughter. She is no longer with her daughter’s father, but he does still live in the house. He pays the house payment and electric bill, which is why my friend allows him to stay there. He doesn’t do much to take care of his daughter as far as changing diapers, giving baths, etc. My friend calls herself a single mother, and I think she is correct.

@YARNLADY I think that in a legal sense..yes. When I had our first son, I was technically considered a “single” woman, even though my future husband was there for the birth and we lived together. We had to jump through hoops to have him be claimed as the father, and sign many papers. It was ridiculous to us, but just legal crap. I was also considered single to the state when I applied for aid, even though I told them I lived with my then boyfriend/future husband, and included his income.

Single parent to me is anyone that lives alone with the child, and does the majority of caring for the child.

@casheroo Yes, I see your point. But wouldn’t that make military wives with deployed husbands ‘single mothers’?

@YARNLADY They’re still married, the husband is off doing their job. That’s a choice. Most women don’t chose to be single parents unless it’s their only option.

I never thought of myself as a single parent, even after my divorce in 1991, until their dad moved out of state and had virtually nothing to do with them in any way. It was sad, because until then he’d been very active in their lives.