Is there a polite but firm way to quiet people's dismay that I exercise?

II get that a lot too because I really don’t need to lose weight… I just started telling people that my goal is to have a Lady Gaga body. lol

Tell them it’s maintenance.

Just tell them that you have to stay on top of things to keep a decent body. Tell them it’s not about getting as much as it’s about maintaining.

I hear you and I have the same issue. Just because I’m thin doesn’t, by any means, mean I’m in shape. 2 flights of stairs and I’m wheezing >.< I’m curious as to what suggestions will be given here..

Thank them for the implied compliment that you have a nice body already, and tell them that it’s for your overall health rather than weight loss, and like others have said, maintaining the good body you already have.

Don’t tell them? Say you’re going to take a 45-minute dump.

Some good suggestions. I think just to show how rude someone is, I might respond by saying something like, “My boobs are too big for me to handle and bras are expensive.” However, for polite responses, I like what I’ve read above.

Tell them ” Thanks, but I’m not exercising to look better, I’m exercising to feel better and to have a healthy heart.”

I agree with @Facade. Say, “thank you, I want to stay this way.” It is riduclous that they say you don’t need to exercise. We all should be exercising. I guess they are trying to give you a compliment, and don’t realize it makes you uncomfortable?

Tell them that you are going to snork down a box of Twinkies instead.It will make them feel better about themselves.It works for me ;)

You could also invite them to exercise with you, see how they react to that. :)

Tell them doctor’s orders and that you have to do “Thirty minutes of exercise a day” for health maintenance.

Maybe don’t frame it in terms of “getting in shape”—this implies that you’re out of shape, which it sounds like you’re not. “I’m hitting the gym” with no explanation might do the trick?

I don’t know, no one’s ever asked me why I work out. Maybe I look like I need it or something?

@nikipedia Good point. Maybe it is how the OP is wording the initial comment about going to the gym.

“Why would you do that? You look fine!”

“How do you think I got to look like this?”

That’s crazy! Why would they even say that, or comment that way? Oh…yeah. Looking at @JLeslie and @nikipedia response prompted me to go back and READ THE DETAILS @VAL123!!!

Yes. Drop the part about getting into shape, and they won’t have anything to say. I never had anyone say, “Why are you going to play volleyball! You don’t need to get in shape! You’re in GREAT shape.”
I never had any one ask why I was in Tae Kwon Do (sp?) either….

GA @andrew!

Haha, thanks guys. I’ll try not saying I need to get into shape though I do, desperately, like @HeatherGrace A couple flights of stairs have me huffing and puffing but even today, when I said to my neighbor that I was going to the gym after he asked me what I was up to he said I was fine.

I know exactly what you mean. People always give me this crap. “But you’re thin!” “You look great” You don’t need to do that!” What they don’t understand is that you can be thin and still be out of shape. And that people have different definitions and expectations for “in shape”...and that different lifestyles may necessitate different levels of fitness. If you are a couch potato, maybe you don’t need to exercise. If hiking is your passion, having no stamina is a major problem.

OK, /rant. I’d go with something like ‘I’m going to the gym. I need my exercise time to maintain sanity.’ Or, ‘I enjoy it; it makes me feel good.’ Or I like @andrew‘s answer.

Say, “Thank you! But I like to work out because I enjoy it.”

Or you could also tell them that exercise increases BDNF and hippocampal neurogenesis!!!

If they’re paying you a compliment, just say “thanks.” If they’re just being conversational, say “thanks” and change the subject. You don’t owe people explanations for everything you do.

You also don’t have to report on all your comings and goings. You can just say you’re doing errands. Or say nothing. If you don’t care to explain, don’t make comments that invite a request for explanation.

I second @Jeruba ‘s suggestion: it’s no one’s business. Just smile mysteriously at your neighbor (while holding your water bottle and wearing sweats) and walk away. Conversationally, you’re just inspired enough to tell the whole world, which is great. Too bad people have to try to curb that enthusiasm. Just look at them sympathetically and smile, because while they sit on their couch potatoes you will be getting all toned up

—and they know it! :)

Say you’re one of those people who feels great with regular exercise so you keep up for your mind and body health.

@Neizvestnaya Ah, that will lead to “So, you think you’re better’n me??!!”

Tell them that is where all the hot guys are at….duh!

It’s not polite to tell them you don’t appreciate their comments.

The gym can make you look and feel great.

So can mastering the lost art of learning how to accept a compliment. It can be difficult. Try not to get defensive.

Very sexy stuff: women accepting compliments with grace.

…and you feel the need to share that you’re headed for the gym because…?

@PandoraBoxx: I share that I’m going to the gym because I’m not going to lie I am physically incapable of it and I’m not going to be so rude as to ignore them when they ask me what I’m up to.

@ipso: When the “compliment” is accompanied by a derisive snort and a patronizing tone, it ceases to be a compliment.

@KatawaGrey Then be comfortable in the first rule of having class.

(Not letting other people when they don’t have any.)

Snapping back some witty retort may be just the response they were looking for.

@ipso: That’s why I asked this question, so I could get polite responses to a rude comment. :)

Don’t tell them where you’re going.

@Silhouette: Please see my above responses.

@KatawaGrey I missed this ”@PandoraBoxx: I share that I’m going to the gym because I’m not going to lie I am physically incapable of it and I’m not going to be so rude as to ignore them when they ask me what I’m up to.”

Well I guess if you are unwilling or physically unable to reduce “I’m going to the gym to work out” to something along the lines of “Got a few things to take care of.” you’re going to have to humor them and their burning need to know your business.

If you feel honor bound to be truthful and polite you should tell them you are going to the gym to work out and you should endure their comments.

Does your timing of going to the gym interfere with plans with other people? That would be the only reason why it would be anyone’s business.

I’ve noticed that many of women at work who work out a lot, talk about it a lot without realizing it. Which is natural because it’s a big part of their day.

I’d suggest flipping them the bird. (I tend not to be polite when confronted with ignorance)

@andrew had the best answer :)

I think at the root of why people say things like that is that they (we) have decided that we need to rationalize our own behaviors (ie. not being as healthy as we should). So I just say things like… I just like to be as healthy as I can be.

Sounds to me as if you’re hanging around with the wrong sorts of folks for your lifestyle. Sarcasm would probably be lost on this bunch, so that’s out. Perhaps if you just said, “Thank you for the compliment, but I like to STAY in shape as well as get there in the first place.” : )

How about, “It keeps me healthy. Exercise isn’t just for weight loss.” Seriously, everyone should know that so say it like the answer is obvious and it will probably shut down that conversation.

I don’t understand why you would feel that not giving them a reason for going to the gym would be “lying.” What’s dishonest about saying, “I’m going to the gym.” period? If they want to ask a stupid question like, “Why?” (which…I honestly can’t imagine anyone asking that,) it’s perfectly honest to say, “Because I want to.”

In the sake of total honesty, do you detail exactly what parts of your body you’re most concerned with getting in shape? At what point do you draw your honesty line?

I don’t see the need to be sarcastic or rude. if they say you dont look like you need to go gym say ‘thanks’. thats it. why do you have to explain yourself in anyway. If they persist, turn it around and just ask them questions ‘do you go to the gym’ ‘what exercise do you enjoy’, they probably just want to chat rather than intending to irritate.

@Val123: What I meant was if someone asks me what I’m doing when I’m going to the gym, I’m not going to lie and tell them I’m going grocery shopping like that.

To everyone who answered: The reason why I asked this question specifically is because the other day, I was on my way to the gym and my neighbor asked where I was off to. I often have chats with this neighbor and I do enjoy talking to him so I answered his question. I said, “I’m off to the gym.” He responded by saying, “You’re fine, you don’t need to do that,” with as I stated above a derisive snort and a somewhat patronizing tone. I said, “I want to get in shape,” and he said, “You don’t need to get in shape, you look fine.” I said, “Well, I’d still like to get in shape,” and again he said something along the lines of, “You don’t need to do that.” All the while, this is happening while I’m walking to my car. I thought it would be rude to simply ignore him when he was speaking to me my mother did raise me better than that and I also thought it would be rude to tell him that I didn’t appreciate what he was saying this neighbor is much older than I and has flirted a little with me in the past. I try to ignore it in conversation which usually works, but when he tells me repeatedly that I don’t need to go to the gym, while I keep saying I just want to get in shape, it makes me a wee bit uncomfortable.

This wasn’t a matter of me going around telling everyone my business or advertising my schedule. This is a case of me making polite conversation, the polite part meaning I don’t ignore who asked me a question and meaning I don’t lie.

Thank you for answering my question.

@KatawaGrey I think he was trying to be nice maybe? Give you a compliment. Instead it made you uncomfortable, and it would make me uncomfortable too. I don’t want to feel like I have to defend my choices.

@JLeslie: Oh, I’m sure he and every other person who says that is trying to be nice, but what bothers me is the idea that they, knowing nothing about my health or personal habits, feel it is their place to tell me how to maintain said health and offset said habits.

I think you may be placing too much importance on what is likely to just be polite conversation on their part as much as it is on yours.

@KatawaGrey Yeah, I totally get it. I have people ask me why I don’t have kids, sometimes I tell them the truth. I have been pregnant 5 times and lost all of them, I wanted to have kids, it is a very sad part of my life. Idiots.

@KatawaGrey… Just my opinion here, but I think he was just being really persistent at flirting badly. I think he was trying to tell you that he thinks you are HOT. I don’t think it was a “you really shouldn’t worry about going to the gym”. But more of a “you look great to me just as you are”. Hope this helps.

@sleepdoc I think you are right, poor guy needs to work on his pick up lines

@sleepdoc my thoughts exactly, when I read her post! He’s a bungling, dirty old guy who came from a different era. As a young man, he was probably one of those that was sure all the women wanted to sleep with him, but were just playing hard to get. One of those jerks that think women take it as a compliment when they pinch their butts.
I would have said, “Well, thank you.” and walked away. Fastly!

@Val123: Yeah, that feels a little like the situation. He’s not overly creepy but when a man old enough to be my father is so vehement about my not needing to go to the gym, it’s a little odd.

@JLeslie: I am sorry to hear that. That exactly the kind of situation where people should keep their mouths shut, whether they know why you don’t have children or not.