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lillycoyote's avatar

Fluther MacGyvers: I need to open an old fashioned bottle-capped bottle, not a twist off, no bottle opener, can you help?

Asked by lillycoyote (24810points) June 23rd, 2010

I am in a motel room in Rehoboth Beach, DE. I have a six pack of Pellagrino Aranciatas, they are not twist offs and I have no bottle opener; it’s hot and humid and they are cold and wet and fizzy, and are the only thing standing between me and certain death from thirst (well not exactly but being so close yet so far has instilled a certain urgency in me, man would they hit the spot right now!) I have a couple of sets of keys, a small tape measure, a push pin, some nail clippers, a small bolt, some pebbles, a dried partial starfish, a caribiner, the keychain type, not mountain climbing quality, a laptop. a blow-dryer, some change, a small Zippo lighter, a Gideon’s bible, a tire iron and and jack in my car, and of course, the car that contains the tire iron and jack…. how do I get these damn bottles open? I could buy a bottle opener tomorrow, but I want one of the Aranciatas now!

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34 Answers

judochop's avatar

I see so much shit listed up above and I ask you this one question:
Do you have a counter top in your bathroom?
If so here is what you do.
1. Place edge of bottle cap on the edge of counter top (bottle held at a 90 degree angle).
2. Whack the shit out of the top of the bottle in a downward motion like you are Bruce Lee with a drinking problem.
3. Pick up your bottle cap and admire the bend in the metal. You did that with your own sheer force! You are amazing!!!
4. Drink your bottle of Aranciatas while laying on the bed watching only things that can be found on motel TV’s.
PS-
I hope they are the Orange Aranciatas. They are sooooo good. xoxoxo

netgrrl's avatar

Years ago, we used to open beer bottles with the small hole that was on the car door where the lock fits. I don’t even know if they are still made that way now.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I’ve used lighters to open bottles before. It takes some practice, but you just put the bottom of the lighter under the edge of the cap and push upwards.

lillycoyote's avatar

@judochop Yes, I did list a lot of stuff, I got carried away. I was hoping someone might know how to open a bottle with a Gideon bible, at least it would be good for something. And yes, they are the orange ones, that’s why I want one so bad. I tried your method on the table but it’s just made of particle board and some cheap covering. I will try the bathroom countertop. It seems to be made of stronger stuff.

lillycoyote's avatar

@netgrrl I will try the car door. I think I remember doing that too.

judochop's avatar

@lillycoyote You must use the bathroom top.
And just for the record. By “shit” I meant “stuff.” I just talk like a drunk sailor sometimes.

lillycoyote's avatar

@Seaofclouds I will try that too. That’s why I listed so many things. You never know what may do the trick.

WestRiverrat's avatar

Ask at the front desk. You may get lucky, and they will have one available.

lillycoyote's avatar

@WestRiverrat Already tried that. No luck. And tried the nearest convenience store, no luck.

wilma's avatar

I had a boyfriend once who would open a bottle with his belt buckle.
That was before twist-offs. Also the thing on the car door like @netgrrl said.

lillycoyote's avatar

O.K. I’m off to my car. I let you know if that worked. I tried opening one of the bottles on the bathroom counter. I’m not sure I have the power to do it but it left a chip in the counter very similar to the rest of the ones one it so that may have been tried before.

WestRiverrat's avatar

Do you have a spare key for the ones you have? If so you can try using the teeth of the key as a bottle opener. Just don’t do this with a key you can’t replace, because sometimes the key will break.

AmWiser's avatar

@lillycoyote on your way to the car ask anyone and everyone you see on the way if they have a bottle opener you can borrow. tehehe. Dammit somebody gotta have a bottle opener.

Seaofclouds's avatar

Being in Rehoboth this time of year, I’m sure someone else in the hotel has one. I remember summers at Rehoboth, always a good time. :-)

aprilsimnel's avatar

Can’t you use the carabiner as an ersatz opener, with the wide end wrapped under the cap, and then give it a good yank upwards with the short end?

lillycoyote's avatar

Yeah!!!!!! @aprilsimnel wins the prize!!!! The caribiner did it!! I just thought it might not be strong enough!! A round of aranciatas for everyone. thank guys.

Nullo's avatar

Gideon Bibles are great reading, @lillycoyote.
If you’re feeling a bit macho, you can simply wrench the top off with your hand.

lillycoyote's avatar

@Nullo I’ve read a lot of it, the bible that it is. Just hoping it might be useful in a real world kind of way, like for opening my Pelligrino Arancitas. I knew it wouldn’t be but I thought I throw it into the mix. So anyway, as I said, I am not unfamiliar with the bible. 15 years of religious instruction starting with my baptism as an infant, Lutheran, Missouri Synod, followed by 15 years (most of it after my Mother left for the ELCA, Evangelical Lutheran Church of America, Missouri Synod Lutherans are real hard asses) of Sunday services, holiday services, Sunday school, vacation Bible school, 3 years of Confirmation Class, twice of week with yearly 3 day retreats (!!!) from the age of 13 to 15. I own about 7 bibles, 8 if you count the one in German, which I just acquired, it belonged to my Grandfather, and I can’t read it so I’m not sure if it counts, 7 different translations, and in spite of the fact that I am an unrepentant and unapologetic apostate (not unrepentant in terms of the mistakes I make, the wrongs I commit or the hurtful things I do, just unrepentant as to my aposty) I still read the bible sometimes. It’s fascinating, full of wisdom and of incredible historic and literary significance.

XOIIO's avatar

@judochop Has the best, easiest and most reliable way.

MissAnthrope's avatar

Just to be an annoying smartypants, the only kind of aranciata is orange. Arancia = orange. And they are soooo good! The limonata is good, too, just super tart.

lillycoyote's avatar

@MissAnthrope yes, I know that. I was trying to be polite and not call attention @judochop‘s misspeaking. And yes, they are damned good, which is why I was so upset that in this hideous heat and humidity, that the only thing standing between me and their cold, orangey, fizzy, thoroughly refreshing goodness was supremely low-tech object – a simple fulcrum device, a gd bottle opener, why I called upon the whole fluther community to help me in my dilemma. But it had a happy ending. All’s well that ends well

Kayak8's avatar

Seatbelt metal “plug in” end usually works for me in a pinch.

jojo22's avatar

put the cap on the edge of a hard surface,like a shelf or table top and chop down hard with the heel of your hand while pulling bottle down and away.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

The strikeplate in the door also works in a pinch.

robmandu's avatar

( Now I think we all know the true origin of @judochop‘s screen name. )

I have successfully employed the countertop (needs a really sharp 90° angle; rounded edges don’t work), carabiner, car bumper, spine of a knife blade, car keys, and hammer claw techniques.

Also, I might suggest investing in a nice pair of Reef flip flops. They have a bottle opener built into the sole.

lillycoyote's avatar

@robmandu Those Reef flip flops would be perfect and very beachy too, of course. I’ll have to check for them in Dewey, that’s the big party beach around here.

judochop's avatar

@MissAnthrope Right, gotcha, roger that, right O’ champ! Thanks tiger, awesome sauce! not to be annoying or anything.

lillycoyote's avatar

@everyone, I was certain you would want an update, :-) I’m working my way through the 6 Arianciatas. I could have purchased a bottle opener any number of places when I was out anabout today but I am having more fun working my way through The Fluther Guide to Opening a Bottle Without a Bottle Opener. (yes, I know I really need to get out more.) @judochop‘s method, opening the bottle on the bathroom counter; I have only succeeded once, out of about 7 or 8 tries. Not reliable for me personally. The caribiner has worked for me twice but I have to get it at just the right angle, as the thing is not big enough to actually fit the cap inside one end or the other. That’s 3 out of 6. The motel door plate is a sure thing, but you have to put the bottle in it at a right angle, perpendicular to the floor. It works, no problem but it’s messy, shoots liquid into the inside of my elbow. Sticky, messy and wasteful, particularly since these are the little bottles, only 6.75 oz. The last one, bottle 5 of 6, I took out to my car and to open it in the door, just to see if it would work. Works great, just like the motel room door plate but the same problems. You have to put it in at an angle that causes spurting and spillage. I don’t like to waste the precious nectar. I have one more Aranciata left. I haven’t decided which method to try. Yes, I know this is fascinating. I would love to come up with a way to open the last one with the Gideon Bible but am at a loss as to how to make it work.

Kayak8's avatar

I say we all pitch in for another 6 pack for continued exploration of bottle-opening methods.

lillycoyote's avatar

Thanks, @Kayak8, I really appreciate your interest in my project. :-). Simple things for simple minds. You have to understand that I am down here on personal business, by myself, staying at an EconoLodge next to a strip mall with a tattoo parlor, a nail salon, a real estate office, a Subway and a Shell station, a good five miles from the actual “beach.” It’s not exactly Club Med; not a lot to do by oneself at night. I only have one gas tank; one can only get so many tattoos and eat only so many Subway sandwiches in a three day period. : -), so I must find ways to amuse myself. So, the update. The last Aranciata bottle. I of course, wanted it to be special. I wanted to try a method not suggested by others. I had to abandon the Gideon’s bible idea, sadly, but thought it might be interesting and useful to find a way to open the bottle somewhere on the motel itself. What if I was in the motel with nothing? Just me and a six pack of Aranciatas? No car, no purse, no flip-flops with bottle openers in the soles, nothing. So this is what I found…. I opened the last bottle on the lip of this pipe, that was right outside my room, at the very bottom of the pipe. The pipe really seemed like it should be industrial enough to open a simple bottel. After some trial and error in finding just the right part of the apparatus to use, it worked like a charm. And again, thank you for your interest. I really am a moron, aren’t I?

Kayak8's avatar

@lillycoyote I have been on such excursions myself. I usually scrounge around for a book (which has found me reading some unusual fare from time to time). But when my family first moved to Japan, we had a very small house (5 people) and none of our stuff had arrived yet. We had only the stuff in our suitcases for over 30 days. We barely spoke the language, NONE of the reading material was “readable” because we were illiterate in this new environment. My Dad was very creative about entertaining kids and he made up games. He would pour uncooked rice out on a table and set a stop watch. Using chopsticks, we would see which of us could get the most rice into a bowl in a minute. This also proved to be a very practical undertaking for our new environs as we became chopstick experts in short order.

I think you gotta do what you gotta do to entertain yourself.

augustlan's avatar

Apparently, you can also use a piece of paper. Who knew?

lillycoyote's avatar

@augustlan That was a great find! It never would have crossed my mind to try to open a bottle with a piece of paper. Like you said, who knew? It’s also a great link that I’m going to keep for future reference. I haven’t watched the others, but that one also links to videos on how to open a bottle with a lighter, with your forearm, though I think I might pass on that one, I bruise easily; and how to open a bottle with a chainsaw, a CD and with another bottle. What a terrific resource!

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