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BoBo1946's avatar

Are you quick to pass judgement on someone's comment on Fluther?

Asked by BoBo1946 (15285points) June 28th, 2010

Someone makes a comment that was meant to be humorous..(.we do need this in a crazy mixed up World, don’t we!) and another member on Fluther take it upon themself, to tell the person that it’s not funny. Is not humor “in the eyes of the beholder?”

See comments like, “you are ignorant,” etc. Could they just be mistaken? Not ignorant! Is that not a strong word to use to another Jelly Friend? Would that be considered “flame-baiting?”

A personal experience of mine on Fluther, answered a question about religion (should have known better) and a Fluther member said my religion is about fairy tales and the Sun revolving around the Earth! I’ve never attacked anyone for not believing! Cool..everyone has their “own wagon to pull!”

Is there not lots of ways to disagree with being disagreeable?

What are you thoughts?

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16 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I find that people often state something inappropriate, then when confronted, they say they were just ‘being humorous’ and that the person who had the problem with their statement needs to ‘lighten up’. Well, as you and I often discuss, we can’t just tell people what they should consider to be funny but we can (and are free to do so on Fluther) tell people what we consider to be NOT funny, to us. Then, we hope that the person won’t resort to childish claims about ‘why so serious?’ and will think twice, maybe, about uttering whatever it was they uttered in the first place. Because, we do live in a crazy world and sometimes humor isn’t the answer. And though you can find many things funny…it doesn’t mean they’re not offensive. Period.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I think it’s all in the approach. I don’t have a problem with someone saying they didn’t think something was funny, but it doesn’t have to turn into a big debate or argument. We all have our own sense of humor and I doubt anyone’s will change just after a conversation on fluther. I don’t think it’s a reason to fight about things though.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir if it is not funny to me, i don’t let them know about it! that is their business, not mine!

Qingu's avatar

I love passing judgment. :)

Though I try to limit my judgment on what is said, not the person saying it.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Qingu that would be cool!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@BoBo1946 I believe there is a difference between simply not finding something funny and letting it go and deciding something is not funny and inappropriate (based on our own parameters) – the former doesn’t concern me, whatsoever…but the latter is an interesting area…sometimes it is important, no, it’s necessary, to stand up and say ‘that was not funny and offensive’ so that one is not implict in supporting an environment where something offensive can be said unchecked.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir if that comment is directed at me, i will hold my ground. But, if it is just an “off the wall” comment, i live and let live. And, there would be a situation, where i would agree with you. Each situation would have to be treated on it’s merits!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@BoBo1946 Sometimes people don’t realize what they say can hurt others. Sometimes they do realize this and then hide behind the humor mask. It really depends on my energy whether or not to state this to someone because very few people have character enough to say ‘you know what, I do see how that can be misread or how that was not the best way of wording it’.

Qingu's avatar

I agree with @Simone_De_Beauvoir. Sometimes people who are trying to be funny are just being callous and ignorant. Think racist jokes (unironic ones, at least… irony throws a wrench into this equation).

BoBo1946's avatar

@Qingu @Simone_De_Beauvoir true, but it hard to know the motives of another person. It could be completely innocent. and racial jokes are a “horse of a different color! Could not agree more!

Qingu's avatar

Yis, I think it’s helpful to assume good faith in those situations.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I believe I have an obligation when it seems that someone uses humour to cloak intentional malice, to challenge the hurtful statement regardless of its value as humour.

A really funny joke that maligns an identifiable racial group is still racism.

It the maligned group is defined by their religion, country of origin, sexual orientation, the same degree of concern applies.

If we don’t at least question the person who wrote the comment, they we are tacitly accepting and condoning the perpetuation of negative stereotypes or hated. Just because it is couched in a statement intended to be humourous does not cancel out the underlying malice.

If our questioning does not result in an appropriate response, then I go on to challenge the malice embedded in the statement.

I’d rather be accused of lacking a sense of humour than be guilty or lacking a moral compass or a backbone.

mattbrowne's avatar

I’m extra careful with new Flutherites I don’t know yet. Attempts at humor can lead to misunderstandings. It’s easier with veterans. Sometimes emoticons like ;-) do help.

BoBo1946's avatar

@mattbrowne wish we had about 100 more just like you here my friend!

zenele's avatar

I’m a schmuck.

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