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Cruiser's avatar

When it comes to needing advice, who is your go to Mentor?

Asked by Cruiser (40401points) July 1st, 2010

I am embroiled in a couple of life changing decisions and have been seeking advice from different sources but there is always one person I turn to for that final “bounce off” when seeking answers to my issues. This person (my best friend) has qualities I have grown to implicitly trust for those big decision making moments.

Who is your go to Mentor and what is it about them that you rely upon when you are flipping the coins of life??

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21 Answers

Blackberry's avatar

I collect opinions from many people, including the internet, and then I make my decision. I don’t have a person in my life that is so knowledgable that I can go to them for everything.

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

My parents usually are first and then I’ll go to my grandmother. I always think that subconciously, I’ve made my decision and I’ll keep trying to find someone who agrees with me.

Cruiser's avatar

@py_sue I do that a lot too!! I am stubborn that way!!

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I wish I had a mentor.
There are people on fluther I would be honoured to have as a friend and mentor.

aprilsimnel's avatar

My big sister G, who is 20 years older than me and has had one heck of a life. When people see photos of me and her husband, they assume that those are my parents (he’s Italian), and I have gotten her permission to say that they are the next time anyone sees the photo. :D

zenele's avatar

I trust my instincts. I’m sometimes the one friends turn to.

Cruiser's avatar

@Dr_Lawrence That is one of the features and benefits of PM’s here. Quite a few caring and considerate Jellies here for sure.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

My dad was my mentor.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I agree @Cruiser but I would require an indication of willingness from a Jelly to act in such a role before I would presume to turn to them for personal advice. There is a guy on fluther who has a standing offer to help others as much as he can but I just couldn’t ask him~!

El_Cadejo's avatar

My father. He is by far the wisest, most logical, and rational thinker I know. No matter what the issue is that i come to him with he always has some level headed answer for me. Sometimes im just too angry with the situation to see it myself but he’s always able to calm me down and get me to look at it from a logical point of view.

As he says to me a lot when im fighting with people “you cant force other emotional people to think on a rational level and it will only cause you headaches if you try. You just have to always do the right thing. It may not seem like it has the best outcome or whatever at the time, but at the end of the day, you know in your heart you did whats right. And when it comes down to it, thats all that really matters. You’re only accountable for yourself in this life and as long as you can say to yourself that you are a good person and truly believe and know it, thats all that really matters”

Growing up I hated how level headed my father was, it seemed he would just take stuff from everyone and was a complete push over. Ive come to realize that it doesnt really fucking matter what other people say or think about you, just that you know your on the right path in life.

marinelife's avatar

It is different people for different things for me.

For life strategy, it is one great male friend I have.

For career issues, it is a female friend.

For personal issues, it is my spouse.

Blondesjon's avatar

My bathroom mirror.

Jeruba's avatar

I rarely struggle with a decision; I generally know what my priorities are and how to use them as a yardstick for measuring alternatives. But a few big ones have stumped me.

While I’m thinking things over, I may talk to a friend or one of my sons, depending on the type of issue. But when I’m really stymied, I turn to my husband. He never tells me what to do. Instead he asks penetrating questions that help me shear away all the distracting irrelevancies and see through to the core of the matter. I’ve never gone wrong after one of those sessions with him.

When others ask me for advice, I listen very carefully and ask a few questions. The truth is that usually they already know what they want to do or should do, but they don’t see it yet. Generally all I have to do is reflect what they’re telling me, choosing my language and my emphasis according to what I hear coming from them. They treat it as an amazing revelation, a stunning insight. I always tell them I’ve just said back what they were saying to me. I want them to know that this is their own wisdom speaking, and all I’m doing is helping them hear it.

Seaofclouds's avatar

My husband is the first person I go to whenever I need someone else’s opinion. I have a few friends that are nurses that I can talk to about nursing issues when I need to.

YARNLADY's avatar

My husband for the really personal, important stuff; the internet for things I am curious about, my doctor for medical.

Keysha's avatar

Arisztid, first, last and forever.

tranquilsea's avatar

That person used to be my mother. She’s been gone know for 2 years and I still haven’t found a replacement for her. What I do have though are 35 years of her advice which I have in a mental filing cabinet. I know what she would say about just about anything. But somehow knowing what she would say doesn’t stop the pain of knowing she’s just not here to talk too.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

My husband and my best friend.

kenmc's avatar

I don’t have one.

Master_Yoda's avatar

@boots Mentor you need. Guide you I shall.

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