General Question

DJM's avatar

EHarmony and ?

Asked by DJM (159points) March 18th, 2008 from iPhone

Is this a realistic mode of meeting people?anybody have any experience with these sites? Just for loosers?

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8 Answers

kevbo's avatar

I was rejected by eharmony :-(. It’s based on a study of 3,000 happily married couples, so if you don’t fit the data set, they don’t take you. Beyond that, I can’t say.

sfgirl's avatar

I think it works for some but not one method seems to work for everyone. Like kevbo, I’ve had friends rejected from eHarmony – they also don’t allow homosexuals. My thought is do what you feel will work best for you – sometimes it takes stepping outside your comfort zone and doing something like online dating. Or joining a community (like Yelp, Fluther, Facebook, etc) and getting out to events. However you can put yourself out there will open you up to meeting more people.

Riser's avatar

I prefer a more organic approach. I met my fiance on a bus, neither of us were looking for a relationship at the time.

I find that, when looking, you are blinded by a lot of important components you truly desire in a companion. Out of your immediate need to be fulfilled you tend to lower your standards in people, please do not associate “lowering your standards” with physical aesthetics, those requirements are fleeting and ultimately immature.

I’m talking about having a conversation with someone that seems to understand you and realizing that this is something you value in a long term relationship.

I will say this, the two websites you mentioned are engineered toward individuals looking for a committed, usually monogamous, long term relationship. I am not suggesting you don’t want that but I thought I would share that anyway.

Highest Regards,

Daniel Riser

vanelokz's avatar

what are you supposed to get out of visiting these websites??

Response moderated
ppcakes's avatar

my mother actually got married to a man she met off of eharmony, i wouldnt say their perfect but they are happy.

Emilyy's avatar

From what I’ve heard, internet dating is particularly good for people who might be fantastic catches, but are also a tad bit socially awkward, shy, insecure or just have trouble getting out there and meeting people. I think that it’ s just a different forum for dating. Like Riser said, it is more of a “forced” approach. I know a number of people who’ve said, “well, I’m ready to meet someone new, so I’m online dating now.” True, it’s great to just meet people organically—at a bus stop, a friend’s wedding, a farmer’s market—places you wouldn’t think to look. But I think for some, internet dating might be the best option.

I’ve never tried it, but the mere fact that I feel the need to mention that I haven’t tried it demonstrates the negative social stigma attached to it.

For example: a person can get falling-over drunk, go out to a bar, vomit all over someone, take him home, screw him, and eventually marry that person. When asked, “How did you two meet?” responding with, “At a bar” doesn’t result in NEARLY the same judgement that a response like “Online” would draw. Our society is screwed up.

Oh yes, and I think that websites that reject people should stop that silliness.

karenk's avatar

I was a member of eHarmony for about 6 months before I found my current boyfriend. I probably could have found a “boyfriend” a lot sooner, had I been just looking for any old guy to be my boyfriend. I am kind of picky in who I date, so I took my time. eHarmony matched me with some great guys, and I went out on more than a few great dates.

I tried chemistry about a year ago and found it to be the same as your basic personals type site. I found a couple of reviews on Chemistry
online and they pretty much said the same thing. A quick google search for eharmony reviews will bring up a few sites that are for, and some that are against it. I based my choice upon this site: because I have been a reader of that site for a while now.

In short, perfectmatch and eharmony are widely considered to be two of the biggest “high end” online dating sites out there. I think Perfectmatch was featured in several movies as I recall.

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