Social Question

ucme's avatar

What job would you give Jesus right here right now?

Asked by ucme (46553points) July 5th, 2010

So yeah, say the holy mutha f**** put in an appearance in your neck of the woods.Besides asking him where he’s been all this time & complimenting his choice of footwear & aftershave.What job oppurtunities could you suggest for him?

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27 Answers

SuperMouse's avatar

I believe that Jesus would be a fabulous social worker.

ucme's avatar

Carpenter? Ahh he’d be on top of the world, although he’s only just begun, yesterday I believe.

Seek's avatar

My husband needs a good helper for his hardwood flooring. Being a carpenter of the age before power tools, he’d probably be great at scraping corners and hand-sanding stair treads. After he gets used to that, maybe he can even run the edger a little. The Hummel would have to wait – he doesn’t seem to have much upper-body strength.

Lightlyseared's avatar

bartender. (buy water – sell wine you’d make a fortune)

aprilsimnel's avatar

Straight to the UN. It’s quick trip across the bridge and up the FDR.

Ron_C's avatar

I’d send him around to the churches to clean up the messes and confusion that he’s caused.

Coloma's avatar


Jesus didn’t cause any confusion…people have confused themselves.
Yep, he’d have his hands full righting all the misinterpretations of his good work.

Ron_C's avatar

@Coloma it might have been better if he has a biographer along on his journeys. People waited until a hundred years before he died before they wrote about him. Since he was “God” he should have had a little better foresight about what would happen to his message.

Coloma's avatar


Yeah..a biographer might have been helpful..but Jesus wasn’t ‘God’, he was just Jesus…lol

Ron_C's avatar

@Coloma I thought that Christians considered Jesus God along with the Father, and Spirit. I think the Catholics call that a mystery of faith.

jazmina88's avatar

teacher, preacher, pope

Ron_C's avatar

@jazmina88 that sound like the answer from a non-christian. I’m o.k. with that but surprised that I didn’t get the usual christian answer.

Coloma's avatar


I don’t know theology well enough to comment on any nuances.

I do know that Jesus is /was considered to be the son of God, the immaculate conception and all.

This is where I jump ship…we are all children of God….and conception is never immaculate. lololol

I think Jesus was a wise and sagey guy, enlightened beyond a doubt, but the rest of the story, not so much.

lloydbird's avatar

Elvis Impersonator.

cookieman's avatar

My deck needs to be replaced…and I have some fence that won’t build itself…oh, and I need a raised floor put in and my basement refinished…Christ! I could keep him busy for months.

Ron_C's avatar

@Coloma I’m a former catholic and Mary was/is a goddess considering they way she’s worshiped. I gave up the immaculate part when I learned how babies were born, of course, that was long after catholic grade school. I think that why she’s a goddess now, she got a raw deal on the birth and raising Jesus. She never got to experience the fun part. Of course some writings say that Jesus had a large number of brothers and sisters. Who knows? No books were written until long after he was gone.

Coloma's avatar


Yes, so much left to speculation. But, fascinating. ;-)

TexasDude's avatar

Harley Davidson certified repairman.

jazmina88's avatar

If Jesus was today a female carpenter, would she be a lesbian?

jazmina88's avatar

You know, times have changes in 2000 years and Jesus was progressive.
Carpenter has been done. Time for new thinking…..He could preach and teach.
with much better heart than most today.

or be a great sommelier.

jazmina88's avatar

I’d put her on a Board of Earth Directors with dalai Lama and Mandela.

Blondesjon's avatar

Jesus has been doing my yard work for years. His mom, Maria, watches out kids.

dynamicduo's avatar

I’d get him working on a new barn for me! Well, for my animals. I’m sure he’d appreciate the irony of constructing a barn for the sheep.

mattbrowne's avatar

Pro bono psychotherapist, specializing in depression, anxiety and obsessive-compulsive disorders in countries where not all people have access to health insurance and good treatments.

NaturallyMe's avatar


Well, we own barbershops, so we need a good barber. Yeah. An honest barber, because many of them are NOT honest. I think i could trust Jesus. I may even make him manager of all our shops so that we can take more time off. :)

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