Social Question

fishfinger's avatar

Where can I find a decent honest guy in the UK (Over 60)?

Asked by fishfinger (7points) July 8th, 2010

Done all the friends sites, and only found guys looking for cheap sex. I want a friend – is this impossible at my age??

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7 Answers

dynamicduo's avatar

Meeting new friends is never impossible. It just becomes improbable when limitations are put in place, often unconsciously by ourselves. Perhaps you could find a friend by engaging in some hobbies you like to do and striking up a chat with someone doing the same hobby. What are some hobbies you enjoy?

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

Honestly….and this isn’t being flippant….look in other countries. Look in the US, Canada, or other European countries. But then, you also have to be careful that someone isn’t looking just for a visa. (So, that’s a worry.) But, you might have better luck. There is something with the men in the UK that somehow often does equate a date with a single woman=automatic sex. I talk to the produce man about avocados and he thinks I’m coming on to him. Why? I don’t get that. What happened to gallantry? Or just getting to know someone? Or just some nice companionship? I totally agree with you. I am not in my 60’s, but it is still the same for a lot of women.

If you stay in the UK…I would not go to the pubs to find anyone, I would not look on dating sites….I would join some clubs in town…the Lions Club, The Rotary Club, Toastmasters ( I think they have those here.) Or you can go to church…some churches have singles clubs. Do you have any hobbies? Join a local organization that has a hobby that that men enjoy, too. (Knitting or crocheting might be out…but maybe birding or boating might work?) Network——tell everyone you know that you are looking for friendship…with a nice man. When you can’t find anyone…..that is nice….you know there are other people out there in the same boat, right? So, what about advertising for a “Singles for Friendship Dinner” at a local eatery….you can organize it and have singles that are looking for other singles to go out and do things with… meet and it can be a regular event. If you are looking for men in your age group….you can specify that: “Singles Over 50 Friendship Dinner——A Way to Make New Friends”. Or something similar. You will be surprised at how many people probably want to do the same thing….meet someone who doesn’t just want to have cheap sex.

For some reason, it seems that what you are looking for is someone who comes few and far between here….unless you can be creative and find new ways of attracting them to you. I can sense that you are a lot of fun and really do want to live your life fully…and more power to you!

Having said that….maybe someone on the Fluther is reading this…and is exactly what you are looking for….fingers crossed….:)

Whatever you do, don’t lose hope and don’t give up. There is a pot for every lid!

aprilsimnel's avatar

I think you’d be better off joining meetup groups, which are more like activity clubs, as opposed to out-and-out dating sites. And if you do use dating sites, make it clear that it’s friends first and that any guy looking to trick you into bed is going to get the heave-ho.

BTW, if you’re using fishfinger as your handle on UK dating sites, careful now! I know for certain that this is a dirty reference for touching a girl. At least in Liverpool. It’s in the song Penny Lane and I can’t believe John and Paul got away with it. Some men in their 60s might see that handle and think you’re up for it!

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

@aprilsimnel…..I didn’t know that April. If that’s true, yes, I wouldn’t use that word, either.

It’s all in presentation, too. If you dress provocatively (not that you do, okay, but throwing it in there for anyone else that might be reading and wondering the same thing for their own life), then you will attract the wrong kind of guy, too. Have a friend that you trust look over your wardrobe…and make suggestions and let them be honest with you. You may have the most incredible bosom in the county, but if you wear a dress that shows it off….then you will get the most incredible yob in the county after you. Best to save the bosom for the man of your dreams, you know? Take a good look at your wardrobe and see is appropriate for a date/night out

@aprilsimnel has a good point….go to Meetup… the UK to find groups that are meeting near you and join them.

Best of luck…you really can find someone…it just may take a bit more searching!

All the best of luck.

Aster's avatar

at the gym; singles club at a church; senior dance club.

janbb's avatar

Unfortunately, I married the last one 36 years ago.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

@janbb….That answer made me smile and say, “ahhhhhhhhhhh…..” :)

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