General Question

fortris's avatar

Outlet for anger?

Asked by fortris (683points) March 19th, 2008

I need some way to dissipate my anger before I punch someone in the face. And don’t give me the “punch a pillow” crap.

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12 Answers

Randy's avatar

Just try some exercise. It should get rid of a bunch of energy and make you less likly to want to hit someone. Also it might help clear your mind. I reccomend running or weight lifting.

richardhenry's avatar

Addressing the source of your anger is often the best way to resolve it. It’s important to remember that addressing the source is not necessarily speaking to the person making you feel that way. Why are you feeling angry in the first place? Can you put your finger on something specific?

fortris's avatar

My father always reminds me that I’m below him. He will punish/restrict me for the smallest reason pssible. He constantly tells me I will never get a job and I will be a horrible father. And every argument we have ends with “I’m the parent and your the child, so I don’t care”. But I can’t address him, because it will start an argument and end up with me even more angry AND in trouble.

Randy's avatar

That sounds like another one of those situations where your just going to have to tread lightly untill you move out. People who use “because” as an argument usually just like to be right and can’t think of a good argument.

I do think parenting is a little different though. I can think of plenty of times my parents said that same line to me because they couldn’t think of a way to show or explain why to me. Believe it or not, 98% of the time, they were right about situations.

Just hang in there though. Don’t do something to get yourself into more trouble.

richardhenry's avatar

Sounds like you will have to bear with him. When he confronts you, delay your response by ten or so seconds longer than you usually would do, give yourself time to think. When he says things like “you will be a horrible father”, respond with “OK”. OK is a neutral response, and if anything it might hit him after a while that what he says is pulling you apart unnecessarily.

Not only does a response of OK not make you anymore angry, but there is no way that it cannot anger him further. Although OK is not an agreement with what he has said, it is not an argument and simply tells him that you accept his opinion and do not wish to discuss the matter further.

I wish you the very best.

fortris's avatar

Nope, I’ve tried agreeing but he just yells at me for being sarcastic.

Randy's avatar

@ richardhenry- Although your right in saying ok is a neutral response, I’d have to dissagree over the mad factor. Ok is bad sometime because the person asking the question may be looking for who they asked to take a side. I know this has happened to me several times. I don’t know fortris’ father so I can’t say this is how he also would react. I’m just saying its a possibility.

richardhenry's avatar

mmm maybe. It’s worked for me quite a lot in arguments, so I thought it was worth suggesting anyway. Have you thought about talking to a school counsellor or something similar to see if they have any way to help? It sounds like this situation is really stressing you out.

gailcalled's avatar

@fortris: is your father ever physically abusive? And can your mother (or sibs) help out? You are in a truly impossible situation, given your age. Richard Henry’s advice about seeking outside help is good. Are you a member of a church or other religious affiliation?

Is there ever a moment of rapport or calm between you and your father when you can ask him what’s going on and how the two of you can fix “it.” And does your father drink?

fortris's avatar

Well, the problem with that is he has WAY too much control over me. Any time I piss him off, I could end up staring at the wall for a week.

@gailcalled He is not abusive and does not drink, be he is drunk with power (no pun intended). He ALWAYS stresses that I’m pretty much owns me. And he always claims to know how I feel (he will say in an argument that I hate someone or something, when I don’t and have never said I did)

oneye1's avatar

go to the driving range hit some golf balls

TheTherapist's avatar

exercise, journaling, therapy, meditation

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