Social Question

Pandora's avatar

Have you ever looked up some you dated years ago on the web to see how their life turned out?

Asked by Pandora (29776points) July 15th, 2010

I recently saw a last name that seemed to ring a bell. It took me a while to place the name and then I realized it was the name of a guy I dated very breifly in high school.
I began to wonder how his life turned out.
We didn’t break up in the nicest way but he surprised me before graduation when he sincerely came over and told me I deserved the best and he wished me well in my future.
He took me by such surprise that I didn’t know what to say other than thank you.
He wasn’t the type of person to think highly enough of women to acknowledge their existence once they were over, which was why I dumped him really quick.
A really close friend told me that he changed a great deal after we parted ways. So I wondered over the years if he truly did change and found happiness.
Did you ever look up someone in your past to simply see how their life went? If so, what was your reason?

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29 Answers

Scooby's avatar

Curiosity really, nothing really changed other than she’s onto her third husband now & happily bleeding him dry! Least it’s not me ;-)

Cruiser's avatar

I only know about one of my old girlfriends from college as 20 years later her brothers shows up out of the blue and marries a good friend of mine! Apparently she regrets dumping me! Que Sera, Sera

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

I’ve looked to see if a couple of old boyfriends were on Facebook. A couple are, or their siblings are, and decided not to take it any further. I just wish them well in my thoughts.

A dear friend from years ago is another matter. I’ve done a more active search for her, other than hiring a service to track her down. I would love to know that her life turned out well.

Why don’t you see if you can track him down…unless there is a reason it might not be a good idea.

filmfann's avatar

I am friends with most of my ex-gf’s. Those that I have lost contact with probably don’t want to hear from me, which grieves me since I do care about them.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I talk to one of my old boyfriend’s often.He’s doing great.
As for looking up people I’ve dated,I am not very interested,although I have run into a few at different events still not interested ;)

Jude's avatar

I still talk to a few (often).

With Facebook, yes. It was mostly old boyfriends; to see how they made out and who they married.

BoBo1946's avatar

@filmfann that is cool…like that! tell a lot about you as a person!

john65pennington's avatar

Sometimes, this is not a good idea, if you are happily married. old memories can open old wounds and start World War III.

MissAusten's avatar

I’m not in contact with any of my ex-boyfriends. One of them I know about now, just because we had a lot of friends in common. He ended up marrying this other girl we used to hang out with, and I am friends with her on Facebook. They seem to be doing really well, with some beautiful children. I think it’s quite funny, because I remember her telling me years ago, “My parents would love it if I brought a guy like him home.” Also, he was ultra-religious and she was a very wild party animal. When I heard they were together, it just boggled my mind.

There’s another old boyfriend I know a little about. My best friend lives in the same city as him, and one day she called to tell me she’d run into him. She worked in marketing, and had to oversee re-auditions for radio commercials. He was one of the people who did radio voice work for them, and his audition was so bad that she fired him. He recognized her, but couldn’t place where he knew her from. While she was telling me this on the phone, we googled him and found out he is a full-time dj and station manager for a popular radio station in their city. There are videos of him on youtube and pictures of him all over the station’s website. It was entertaining, to see how little he’s changed. I haven’t tried to find anything out about his personal life. I don’t care enough to put the effort into it.

Those were the only two serious relationships I had before meeting my husband. I haven’t tried to look up other guys I’ve dated some I can’t even remember their last name, which is just sad but I think it’s perfectly normal to wonder what people from your past are up to. The internet makes it easier than ever to maybe get a peek at people you don’t really know anymore.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I did, for two exes and one guy I really thought was gorgeous in high school, but never got together with, though he was interested in me (I wasn’t allowed to date at the time).

One ex is married, one is single but doing well, and the guy I really liked is also married and doing well career-wise, but, man, the looks, they are long gone and he gained a considerable amount of weight.

MissAusten's avatar

@aprilsimnel I’m not friends on Facebook with a guy I had a terrible crush on during high school. His looks are gone too (along with his hair), but he has a nice family and seems to be doing well. Half the shock came from not seeing him for maybe 13 years and still somehow expecting him to not have changed!

Pandora's avatar

@john65pennington Yeah, not interested in this guy that way. It was over 40 years ago. Wasn’t that interested in him back then and when I broke up with him my heart didn’t even skip beat. Its just that he left a lasting impression at a pivitol moment in my life. There was a lot going on at that time of my life and he did something that surprised me. He was at the right place at the right time, saying something I really needed to hear.
Its not that I even want to talk to him. I doubt he even remembers me. Was hoping I could just find his face book and I could just read his bio. I just wondered two things.
How did his life go? And what ever happened to his best friend? When I broke up with him, his best friend suddenly dropped out of school, 2 months before graduation.
He was the only person who had contact with him after school. They grew up together.
I always suspected something happened to his dad. He and I spoke about our dads. They were both very ill at the time.
So I’ve wondered if I found him than I may find his friend as well.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

There is only one person I wish I could contact. I’ve (in my adult years) found the others I was curious about or found out about them. It’s strange because (via the Internet) I have all of this one man’s contact information…all of it. His home address, both his telephone numbers, everything. He is in public office (and I know his office address, too) and all that information was posted online. I doubt he knows that. I tried to write him at his office (which is a large govt organization) about a decade ago and did not receive a response. I don’t even know if he got it.

So, this info has been idle in my address book for five years now. And I worry about contacting him….because he might be married/attached and I don’t want to cause any trouble. Yet, I do want to know how he is as he was so important in my life.

We did not part in a bad way or anything. He never knew how deeply I felt for him, I don’t think. We lived far apart and so geography was a problem.

Sometimes, I wish there was a service….where you could ask someone (like a go-between) to contact a person and say, “Miss Rhadamanthus out of your past would like to contact you, simply to see how you are. Would you be interested in doing that?”

Yes, I’m a big coward on this one. :)

ParaParaYukiko's avatar

I only have one ex-boyfriend, and I couldn’t care less about what his life is like now. He friended me on Facebook and even sent me a message of apology for how he treated me when we were dating (7 years after we broke up, lolz), but I never responded. He was part of a life that I don’t want to go back to.

I have, however, accidentally come upon the Facebook page of a girl who used to be my best friend. I haven’t talked to her in nearly 4 years. I was tempted to contact her, to see what she’s like now, but my boyfriend talked me out of it. Ours wasn’t the healthiest of relationships and initiating contact would’ve probably just opened up a can of worms and bad feelings.

I dunno. With some people I’m happy to re-initiate contact, but with exes and such I consider them part of the past, not my present.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Sure. One guy because I wanted to know his life was good and another guy because I wanted to read his life wasn’t so good.

Pandora's avatar

@Neizvestnaya :) I often find your candor amusing.
Did it turn out the way you hoped in both cases?

Neizvestnaya's avatar

:) Some things I don’t see a point in fibbing about. I’m happy to say the one guy who I’ve always adored is doing well. We parted amicably though not enough for him to want to keep a friendship with me and I understand why. The other man is doing so so and that’s okay because then I don’t have to explore the monster in me, gloating over his downfalls. He did me wrong and I was a very bitter pill for a few years, jealous he would give the life he pledged to me to another.

Jeruba's avatar

Back when I was a young woman with an active social/romantic life and the Internet didn’t exist, I never thought to pick boyfriends whose names would yield fewer than 4,560,000 search results in Google.

I have looked, and sometimes I’ve found an answer, sometimes not. Once it led to complications.

There are many people, not just people I’ve dated, about whom I think from time to time, wondering what became of them. I’ve wished I could have just five minutes with them, now, in our senior years, to ask “How has your life turned out?” and hear the short version. It would probably be nothing like I imagined.

A couple of years ago I actually paid a researcher to look for one who’d been special to me so many years ago. He was a poet on the cusp of the beatnik era and hippiedom. I had a lot of information, including date and place of birth, middle name, and parents’ names, all fished up out of dim memory. In a few days’ time the researcher came back and informed me that he had died in a village in upstate New York about 18 months earlier, and that’s all he knew.

Pandora's avatar

@Jeruba I’m sure a lot of them from H.S. didn’t think I would be the person I am today. I had the aspiration of a politician (could look great to the public but always had something sneaky going on the side.) , the empathy of Mother Theresa, mixed in with impulsive behavior.
Teachers adored me, bad kids respected me, and the good kids thought I was one of them but they didn’t understand how it was the bad kids never bugged me.
I’m a long way, away from who I was back then.

rooeytoo's avatar

A high school friend recently told me she had come across an article in a Nat Geo about my old boyfriend (who was a class mate of her husband). I couldn’t find the magazine but I googled him. I had more hits than I ever would have imagined and they were all about him. He is very famous and well known in his field. And oddly enough it is a field that I would never have thought he would enter much less excell. So I sent him an e and now we correspond regularly. It is fun to be in touch again. He and his wife are planning a trip to Australia in the near future and will spend a few days with us. Thanks to the internet, it really is a small world.

Jeruba's avatar

@Pandora, and who are you today?

Pandora's avatar

@Jeruba Not quite the same. Not as empathic, nor as sneaky. More of a realist. Before the world was mine to own. Now I rather just admire it from a far and I have a more realistic view of its dangers.
I’m very cautious in what I do an say. Back then, you couldn’t stop me in doing either. I would jump in with both feet and I never looked for a safety net.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Pandora you must be from Texas! loll that’s what Texans do, is it not?

Pandora's avatar

@BoBo1946 No. LMAO. Not sure if that is what Texans do. I’m actually from NYC.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Pandora i’ve worked in Texas many times over the years, they pee out of a different tube than the rest of us! Oh, some great people in Texas, but they don’t hold back! They will tell you in a heart beat, how the cows ate the corn!

Pandora's avatar

@BoBo1946 LOL, then I would probably like most of them. :)

AliasTJ's avatar

I’ve looked up several. Most of them are doing well. One is a doctor, one is a fireman, one is a career marine, two are dead, and the last is in the penitentiary. I was just curious to see what had become of them.

Pandora's avatar

@AliasTJ :) Interesting. One is a jailbird. Did they turn out the way you expected? One guy I dated, I would expect to see him in jail. Ok, actually 2 guys I dated are probably in jail or just getting out. One had a bit of a temper and the other one I found out when we broke up was trafficing drugs. The last guy was only rumors though. I had no hard facts. There was some suspicious behavior that lend itself to be possibly true. He was studying to be a lawyer. LOL

AliasTJ's avatar

@Pandora one of the two that are dead surprised me. The one in jail was a no-brainer. He was crazy when I dated him and apparently stayed that way. He was extremely intelligent, but had a very criminal way of looking at things.

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