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Dutchess_III's avatar

What is one name that you have heard that you would never name your child?

Asked by Dutchess_III (39543points) July 23rd, 2010

I was watching “5th Grader.” A contestant came on. Going by his first AND last name, I’d say his parents were immigrants from wherever (the Middle East? He looked African-American but his name didn’t suggest that…) but the contestant was 100% American. No accent, completely American mannerisms.

Don’t remember his last name, but his first name was “Aswad.” Oh, have mercy! It was pronounced “Ah-z-wad” but Jeff Foxworthy was having the hardest time staying in the bounds when a joke was right in his face, but he did well. He won’t lose his job even though the “Z” sound slipped slightly into the “double S” sound here and there.

So, there is one name I’d never name my American kid: “Aswad.” Can you think of others?

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63 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Nevaeh, Princess.

TexasDude's avatar

I used to know a guy whose actual first name was Godspeed.

He stole my prom date once.

chels's avatar

D’eva (pronounced diva). A woman on WifeSwap was named that though she changed her own name to that. ::facepalm::.

MaryW's avatar


Frenchfry's avatar

Richard… To think someone would shorten his name to Dick would bug me.

YARNLADY's avatar

Stone Phillips – sounds backwards to me. “Stone, it’s time for dinner now” just sound wrong.

VS's avatar

I once knew a girl named Sassafras – the sad part was her last name was Miles so it always sounded liked Sassafras Smiles. I sure wouldn’t want my name to be that, so I wouldn’t hang that moniker on a child. Or something equally goofy if your last name is Butts – like Merry Butts or Rusty Butts or Rosy Butts.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

Shalom Compost. (This was the actual name of someone. If you are on the Fluther, I apologize, I know you were into environmentalism, but….)

Art Vandalay.


Chrissi85's avatar

Anything car or place related. Mercedes, Paris etc

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I had an aunt named Colastica and to my knowledge that name’s never been used since.

Chrissi85's avatar

but then again, I am a bad example, I want to call my first daughter Maeby… so y’know, I probably fall into that ‘people that call their kids awful things’ category

augustlan's avatar

I second “Adolf”. That name is forever sullied.

charliecompany34's avatar

twins named syphillia and gonnorhea. true story.
also, kids named after liquor like martell and tequila

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

I “third” Adolf.

And in Texas, there is a very famous story….The Governor of Texas in the 1800’s was Jim Hogg and he had a lovely daughter who was famous for her philanthropy….her name was Ima Hogg. Everyone says she had a sister named “Ura”....but that was just an urban legend.

chyna's avatar

@YARNLADY I think Stone Phillips first name is Stonewall. Not much better.
edit: I just googled it, his real name is Stone. He did name his son Streeter. Yuk.

Luffle's avatar

I met someone named Jesus Jesus.

MissAusten's avatar

I agree with Richard (aka Dick) and Adolf. We had a custodian at my middle school named Dick Junk. It was no wonder he always looked miserable.

My husband and I could never agree on boys’ names, but one we both cracked up over was Jathan. You have to say it out loud for the full effect. Everyone would assume the poor kid had a speech impediment. I can just hear kids in middle school now: “Oh hi Jathan! I’m Spenther! hahahahahah!! This is my girlfriend Thally! hahahahaha!!”

casheroo's avatar

I love the name Stone. That is my son’s middle name, and I wanted it for the first name but my husband refused. I’m still bitter.

Nevaeh really bothers me. So does any variation of Jaden/Jayden anything like that.

SuperMouse's avatar

Cletus, I would never name a child Cletus. Also, in general nouns and adjectives do not work as names for me; that lets out words like Flower, Leaf, River, Lovely, Darling, Handsome, etc.

Oh and I have always thought that naming a little boy Guy is really just phoning it in.

Flowergurl's avatar

I had a teacher in high school named Mrs. Butt. Her husband’s first name was Harry. He must of had a cruel set of parents.

aprilsimnel's avatar


Unfortunate, isn’t it?

That’s the name of Jermaine Jackson’s son.

knitfroggy's avatar

I’m with @casheroo on Jayden/Jaiden. My daughter had 3 kids in her preschool class named Jayden/Jaiden. Two were boys and one was a girl. I was always so confused.

I don’t personally like cutesy names. I saw a little boy named Addison recently, and I just don’t think that sounds like a man name. Neither does Cayden, I hate that one too. Where is baby Paul or Phillip? My kids are Grace and Jack. They will be good names when they are adults and there is no question of their sex.

augustlan's avatar

I once had a customer named Gay Love. No shit. He is a man, and is married to a woman.

ratboy's avatar

Ratboy—I killed my parents. I would have preferred Moon Unit; that’s unisex isn’t it?

lawlipop's avatar

One of the teachers at my highschool is named Windy Bottoms. And Bottoms isn’t even her maiden name.

NaturallyMe's avatar

Oh, there are so many!! Most of them are common names which i just find too boring (like John or Robert), but some i just find outdated (like George or Marcus). I’ve gone blank and can’t think of a really odd name that i’ve heard that i’ll never name m kids! But i would have liked to name my boy Arden, it’s not a common name here, in fact, i’ve never heard a kid named that here ever!

downtide's avatar

Agreeing with Adolf, Jesus and Richard, for exactly the reasons given. I also think that a lot of newer names are awful. People who want to give their kids “unique and interesting” names don’t always realise what effect it’s going to have on the kid at school.

The names of Bob Geldof’s daughters come to mind.
Fifi Trixibelle (sounds like a name for a poodle), Peaches, Pixie and Tiger-Lily. What the hell were they thinking?

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@downtide Wow, those names make them sound too stupid to even strip.

I also want to add all the names on George Carlin’s Goofy Names

ragingloli's avatar

Or names like “Freedom”.

jenandcolin's avatar

I also hate “Nevaeh”. I have a family name, Neva (which is a river in Russia), and I plan on naming my daughter (if I ever have one) that. But, when I tell someone the name now they think I am saying “Nevaeh” instead of “Neva”. It really bugs me.
I also hate names that remind me of the mean girl from high school. For example, girls named Lacey, Mindy, etc.
There really aren’t a lot of boy names that bother me. Just names that I associate with people that irritate me. So, “Ashton” bugs me…“Justin” (both for Timberlake and Beiber)...

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Pretty much anything that will never be pronounced correctly, and the child has to spend the rest of their life giving lessons to people they meet. For example, a friend named her son Caleb, but they spell it Caleeb.

I am fascinated by names that provide a chuckle, be it their birth name…intentional or unintentional…or a nickname.
* Spider Webb (a guy who checked into a hotel where I worked)
* Sandy and Virginia Beach (friends of the parents)
* Paris France (niece of a co-worker)
* Kelley Kelly (after some hesitation, she decided to take her husband’s last name)

The worst name I can think of though is the one given to the son of a co-worker. The last name is Egge (pronounced Egg-e). They named their son Justin. “Hi, I’m Justin Egge.”

ducky_dnl's avatar

I’d have to say Quinteria is the worst name I have ever heard. I also can’t stand Pilot Inspector, Ashley (sorry to any ashleys), and Raymond..sorry to any Raymonds as well. :P

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I really dislike all the ridiculous celebrity baby names, such as Apple. I mean, when you say her full name it sounds like you’re spitting. Apple Paltrow!! wipes spit from face

@jenandcolin I also can not make myself like the names I associate with the jerks from high school. Tiffani, Lacey, Kat, Amber, Melody, and then Brock, Lance, Hayden and Mick.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate It just about kills me that she names her daughter a fruit but her son gets the name of one of the greatest religious figures of all time (if you’re into that sort of thing), Moses. I mean talk about her future self-esteem issues ‘hi, this is Moses and that over there..that’s Apple’

Dutchess_III's avatar

LOL! My husband’s name is Richard! We call him Rick. The only time I call him “Dick” is when it’s followed by “Head.” :) And, Granddaughter, Brande Neveah (broke two rules right there!) @NaturallyMe Aden is my grandson’s name. Would you consider Aden instead of Arden? Arden is the name of a girl’s perfume anyway. Wait. You’re never going to have kids cause you don’t LIKE ‘em!!

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Oooh, I forgot about the three sisters from Alabama: Southern, Dixie and Rebel.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Agreed… makes you imagine what life will be like for them, growing up. Other celebrity hated names: Banjo, Rocket, Pilot Inspektor, Audio Science, Moxie, Calico, Fuschia… OMG, these poor children.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate @Simone_De_Beauvoir And of course, Michael Jackson’s kids, Prince, Paris-Michael, and Prince “Blanket” II.

kaybee's avatar

My neighbor’s is Mistake. Why oh why?

Dutchess_III's avatar

Some people are nuts!

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@kaybee That is just wrong! And it’s worse than an acquaintance and his wife who named their child “Prairie” because that was the name of the street they were on when he was conceived.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I think it’s awful to name your child in such a way that it’s a play on the last name. Really. Giving names isn’t a joke.

lawlipop's avatar

I was in the waiting room at the hospital once, and one of the ladies there had her child with her. And if I heard correctly, the child’s name was Toshiba. Like the company.

NaturallyMe's avatar

AHA!!! I found one: Parvity! (or however you spell it!) It sounds like poverty.

meagan's avatar

Any kind of modern name that has a y or ie at the end of it.
Or any of those modern names like Aiden, Ethan, Bailey, etc.

Chrissi85's avatar

Oh and I hate it when dad’s name their son after them, and then the middle names are like, their grandad.. which is fine except I know people that do it with ALL their kids! Jack John, John Jack, Matthew John, John Matthew..I am named after my dad, as they expected a boy, and then they just changed it to a female version at the last minute. Lazy much?

Dutchess_III's avatar

My folks all most named me JoeNell…or something ghastly that incorporated both of their names!

YARNLADY's avatar

@Chrissi85 Even worse, my Grandfather was given the initials of his fathers name – for years his name was V L, until his father died, then he took his fathers full name, Virgil La…..

Dutchess_III's avatar

My poor son has two middle names because I didn’t want to give him the first name of either of his grandpa’s, but he’s the only grandson, so I had to give them their names SOME how!

MissAusten's avatar

Both of our sons have middle names from their grandfathers. One’s middle name is a grandfather’s first name, and the other’s is a grandfather’s middle name. It’s also my brother’s middle name. My daughter’s middle name is my first name, which is also my mother’s middle name. It’s sort of a family tradition for that name to be given, somehow, to the oldest daughter in each generation.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Coccyx. (thanks MacBean!)

Dutchess_III's avatar

@MissAusten Do their names get cut off in the fields where you can only enter a certain # of characters? :)

MissAusten's avatar

@Dutchess_III No, I think I wasn’t very clear. They each have one middle name, named after each of their grandfathers….if that makes more sense!

Dutchess_III's avatar

OH! Well, my son has a totel of 4 names, and yeah. It gets pretty interesting sometimes!

Dutchess_III's avatar

Manson. I wonder if that name had such awful connotations before 1969?

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@Dutchess_III Marilyn Manson hasn’t helped matters much either.

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