Social Question

Seek's avatar

Help me come up with a brilliant comeback?

Asked by Seek (34729points) July 24th, 2010

My birthday is in late December.

Inevitably, whenever I’m on a beer run, the cashier whips out their wittiest “Oh! Aren’t you a Christmas baby!”

For years, my retort has been a very dry, “And unlike Jesus, there’s evidence I was actually born on that day.”

I’m bored with it. Need something fresh. Any ideas?

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26 Answers

KhiaKarma's avatar

Mine is on the 22nd of December and I never have had anything witty to say, so sorry-but I will follow this thread. I think your comment is pretty freaking great….

Seek's avatar

Why thank you! We have to stick together, those of us who have never had a birthday party anywhere close to our birthdays. Those of us who get ripped off on both Christmas and our birthday, when all the other kids got both.

Aren’t the “double gifts” the worst? Here’s something I pulled off the $3 shelf at WalMart. It has a birthday ribbon and Christmas wrapping paper! Aren’t I clever?

KhiaKarma's avatar

Yeah, but it’s funny now that I don’t really worry about gifts, I have noticed more people remember my birthday becuase they just associate it with the Holiday every year. I am just a part of their Christmas routine- so it’s not so bad like it used to be when I wanted swim parties!

Berserker's avatar

Like @KhiaKarma says, I’ll stick around to see what comes up, because I have no imagination and I would probbaly just say something lame like, and you’re just a bitch baby, now gimmee my damn beer and SHUT UP.

I’d probably add a ’‘jerk sack’’ as I exit the store.

le_inferno's avatar

“Yes, I am… I’m used to receiving gold, frankincense, or myrrh, but I’ll cut you a break and settle for this beer…” Mwahaha, maybe you’ll get some free booze out of it :D Of course I think of the gifts…

Jeruba's avatar

I’ve noticed that the people who go for the most obvious, tiresome, banal wisecracks also seem to imagine they’re being original. These people are not very bright. Sorry, darlin’, but I’m guessing you won’t really be clear of this annoyance until you look too old to be carded.

Ivan's avatar

Meh, just be glad they still ask for your I.D.

Seek's avatar

@le_inferno I like that one. ^_^

janedelila's avatar

“No, I’m the Baby New Year. I take it you are Last Year??”

Trillian's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr How vested in this are you? Try this; Come to a dead stop. Lean forward a little and let your eyes get really big. Drop your mouth open and let some drool come out. Say; “Did you really just ask me if I were a Christmas baby when you have my ID actually in your hand? Do you know, no one has ever asked me that before? Do they pay you extra for that keen wit? How ‘bout you just ring me up now?”
Or you could go with; “Baby? No, I’m an adult, hence the ID stating that I am allowed to operate a motor vehicle. Please ring me up won’t you? I’ve got a manger to get back into before they notice that I’ve snuck out.”

judochop's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr they are just making small talk and trying to connect with you for a brief moment. Sounds to me like they already have a shitty job if you are buying the beer from them through a take-out or a convenience store.
Give them a break. How annoying can it be really? You are in the store for what? 5 minutes? So they suck? They have a shitty job. Why make it worse in the one moment they get to try and connect?
It could be all the people shooting shitty things back at the cashier that make them hate their job and thus provide crap service. Huh, next time I have to hit 7–11 for anything and the service sucks, I’m gonna ask if they just checked an “almost” Christmas ID. :)

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@Jeruba I hate those people. My name is also the name of a common household pet, and everyone seems to think they are the first and only person on the planet who could possibly come up with “oh, so you crap in a litter box?”.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr My cousin has a December birthday. I made her a deal years ago – she can either get a Christmas gift and a half-birthday gift in June, or choose one really big gift in Christmas (I’m all not rich yet, so giving her Vera Wang perfume would normally be beyond what I could afford for a present).

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

Are you planning to start a new world religion to celebrate?

That’s because Cardinal (the local Catholic Cardinal) is my father!

My mother was also a virgin when I was born.

After I was born my mother lay me in a trough full of hay. It gave me a terrible rash!

Maybe that’s why my friends are always calling on me to “save” them.

Every year on my birthday three wise guys bring me weird gifts.

Jeruba's avatar

My sympathy, @papayalily. I used to date a man whose name invited wisecracks, and he took it with a much better grace than I ever did. Can’t imagine what was wrong with his parents, though, doing that to their innocent babe.

Kayak8's avatar

@papayalily Now I am going to spend the day wondering if your real name is Fluffy

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

@Kayak8 Sooooo close, it’s actually Mittens.

john65pennington's avatar

No offense, but i think your approach to the whole idea is incorrect. i was born Dec. 16th and i never reject someone’s comment about being born early, before Christmas.

It is what it is and i just accept it.

gailcalled's avatar

My birthday is Dec.31 and I never pay attention to either the birthday or the (very few) remarks. Whenever anyone does say anything, it is with good grace and good intentions.

I tend to celebrate all the 364 non-birthdays.

I would ignore the wisecracks and save your energy for something that enhances you.

Seek's avatar

@Dr_Lawrence I think I’m in love with you. “My mother was a virgin, too”. Priceless! ^_^

le_inferno's avatar

Agreed, @Dr_Lawrence cranked out some gems.
@Seek_Kolinahr, looks like you might have a repertoire of comebacks to choose from!

woodcutter's avatar

@Symbeline Jerksack? ouch I get an ache just reading that ;(

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr I am deeply honoured and touched. Do enjoy using that answer and think of me when you do!

mattbrowne's avatar

“Well, you see, the folks running the manger ran out of hay, and a pre-existing condition like pointed ears can affect health insurance coverage, so the whole Christmas experience sort of turned into a nightmare. I’m still recovering from the shock. Can we talk about something else?”

Nullo's avatar

To borrow from XKCD, “Nah, I’m not really into Pokemon.”

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