Social Question

tamkli3's avatar

What's the best way to grab a guys attention that you like, but he is infatuated with someone else that doesn't like them?

Asked by tamkli3 (275points) July 27th, 2010

This is kind of a confusing question but I will clarify it…

I like a guy that I just met at the beginning of the summer, and I’ve been talking to him a bit more. My only problem is the fact that he really likes someone else, but that person that he likes does not like him back.

I really like this guy, and I kind of want him to notice me as more than just a friend…

What would you suggest to be able to help me to grab his attention and notice me in a different (good) light?

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15 Answers

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Ah I see…I always have these problems. What I usually do when I like a girl is that I get to know her better, hang out with her more. After awhile I usually ask her out over email or something. But if you two are good friends and you ask him out that will ruin the friend bond or if your lucky survive with what you have and still be friends. But if you’re shy and can’t ask this boy out in person, do it over text or over emails. Something like that. I don’t know how else to help you. I know what you are feeling since I“m somewhat feeling the same way. Hope this helped you out! :)

Sincerely, Vincent Lloyd Magick (Aka Lone Wolf Masaru)

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Be yourself and bide your time. You may discover that he isn’t as perfectly suited for you as you initially thought. This happened to me long ago, and I’m very happy it worked out as it did.

tamkli3's avatar

@Vincent_Lloyd & @Pied_Pfeffer thank you both… i really appreciate it… it’s just been kind of dissapointing because I really like this guy and I have issues with reading his ‘signals’

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

You are more than welcome. Who knows what is going on in this guy’s heart/head? He may not even know.

hrcmatt's avatar

Yes, I would definitely try to get him to notice you as a good friend first. In fact, I wouldn’t even act interested in him..

To me.. a girl that can hang with the guys interests me more than someone who plays hard to get. I would hang out as much as you can, even as a group or invite him along with some of your other friends. Make him get to know you more.. he’ll forget about her.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

@tamkli3 : Haha you don’t need to thank me I love helping people with little issues like these. Since I get them all or most of the time. But He might secretly like you. You’ll never know till that time comes.

chyna's avatar

Girls are very aggresive anymore, so if the guy is a keeper, if you wait around too long, someone else is going to ask him out. You need to do what you are comfortable with and if you are comfortable enough with him, ask him out.

wundayatta's avatar

It’s easy to grab a guys attention. I’m sure you could think of many. The issue is what kind of attention you get.

You can’t make him have feelings for you. That’s his job. But you also don’t have to sit around waiting for him to notice you. Let him know. Be adult about it. Be prepared to have him say he’‘s not interested, and be prepared to follow up and give him reasons to see what might happen. Sometimes guys appreciate directness. Especially if they are kind of shy. Other times they think it insults their manhood. I wouldn’t want the latter type of guy, so I’d want to find out right away if he is cool with me being direct.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

@tamkli3 : I guess to just give you something about a shy guy (since I’m one) I usually want the girl to ask me. Even though that’s my job I just have trouble with it. Like what wundayatta said that shy guys like or appreciate directness. For me it’s true so thumbs up for that. Other than that Just be ready for what the out come might become.

gorillapaws's avatar

I’m with @wundayatta, screw waiting around—life’s too short. Be upfront and see what happens. If it doesn’t work out, move on and find someone else. The biggest regrets I have in life are from not making a move when I should have. I have never regretted taking a chance and having it fall through.

truecomedian's avatar

“different (good) light” what does that mean exactly. Are you very moral, would you be against making a physical move on this guy. Like brushing up against him and saying something suggestive. I dont want to give advice that you find innapropriate, so forgive me in advance please. Odds are, this guy, if he cant figure out the girl he likes doesnt like him, and doesnt realize a nice girl like you likes him, then he aint worth it. Stop crushin’

SVTSuzie's avatar

Ha ha ha. Oh boy!!! The old….,well, ignore him! Lol. I’m so sorry about your dilemma! The classic info we got was to study what interests him and whenever possible, impress him with your knowledge of his fave things!!!!!

tamkli3's avatar

@truecomedian meaning.. not too pushy, desperate, or whore-like… haha… I wouldn’t mind brushing up against him… Plus, I’m open to hearing any type of suggestions…

Winters's avatar

As a guy my best suggestions to girls out there are: A. if he’s into her for the looks, you kinda need to flaunt something she doesn’t have or get close (physically) on a continuous basis and perhaps he’ll be interested in your assets, sorry but personality rarely works in this case; B. If he is into for who she is, her personality and all that, you need to get close to him, be more friendly, find time to hang out, know more and more about each other, and if you can get to know some of his deepest secrets, your probably either well on the way of becoming his girl, or becoming someone he sees as a sister; C. Chloroform, lol; D. nothing works better for a guy to look for a new girl than the realization that hey, she (the girl he’s into) has no interest in him on an intimate level, but if he still hounds after her, its probably a hopeless case or its going to take a very long time.

tamkli3's avatar

@Winters… oh… it’s already been a really long time… But love the choice of C haha (though, interestingly entertaining, I unfortunately won’t do ^_^)... but thanls :)

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