Social Question

Facade's avatar

What were your 20s like?

Asked by Facade (22881points) July 30th, 2010

When you were 20–29, what were you doing with your life?
If you are in this age range now, what are you doing?
Are/were you satisfied with that?

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51 Answers

gailcalled's avatar

I was married, had an interesting and flexible career, produced two perfect children and was the perfect model for a female college grad. of that era.

I was satisfied until I wasn’t. My life, like most others, has taken many unexpected turns and twists, but I have been, on the whole, one the lucky ones.

Blackberry's avatar

They were pretty awesome, until I made a trivial mistake that pretty much ruined the rest of my 20s lol. Oh well…I had a good run, but the rest of my 20s won’t be the same.

I was single and had enough money to have a lot of outdoor fun, then I lustfully got married and lost it all, the rest of my 20s will just be recovering financially.

Coloma's avatar

Married at 22, and stayed that way forever…til 2003. :-)

Raised my daughter, got a divorce, and am loving being the age I am!

My 40’s have been the BEST decade of my life!

You couldn’t pay me enough to go back to my 20’s! lol

Scooby's avatar

My twenties were quite chaotic up until I got married at 28 then it was just down hill from there!! Ask me about my thirties ;-)

El_Cadejo's avatar

Im 21 right now. Its ok I guess? Busy all the time with school/work. Im poor as hell, and still dealing with this whole car accident thing from when I was 19 and fucked up my back. But I really cant complain to much, I think it will get better in the future when I get that all settled and further into school where I can be really learning more about my major.

@Blackberry gotta ask, the mistake…. joinin the navy

downtide's avatar

I became a parent at the age of 21 so I grew up very fast in a short amount of time. It was also a time of serious depression and suicidal thoughts (not related to parenthood) which continued through til I was in my late 30s. I’m glad it’s over.

john65pennington's avatar

I was driving a paddy wagon downtown picking up drunks and prostitues. i had a partner that did not have a left hand and never gave it a thought that he may not have been a good backup for me as a partner. i soon was promoted to a traffic investigator and studied at Northwestern University.

Blackberry's avatar

@uberbatman I used to think that was a mistake, joining the navy. I mean it was….but not as bad as getting married.

Edit: I didn’t really mean that the Navy is so horrible, it’s just one of those things where no matter where you are, you always think the grass is greener on the other side.

CMaz's avatar

Music Videos, Partying, Hollywood, Partying, Some of my highest highs and some of my lowest lows. East coast to west coast and back again. Ending up on the sandy beaches of Florida, starting the cycle all over.

Then I got married. :-(

BoBo1946's avatar

I was having lots of fun coaching and teaching school. As far back as I can remember, always wanted to coach. Started coaching when I was 14 years old. Coached Little League baseball. On my Facebook site, still communicate with lots of my students and athletes. Loved working with those kids. That job was fun. I went from the best job on Earth to working for an insurance company….just a job that paid well.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@Blackberry ahhh you edited it before i reloaded.

Alright keep that in mind….dont get married :P

BoBo1946's avatar

@john65pennington Lmao…..the paddy wagon comment was funny. I’m sure you were very happy to get promoted.

Facade's avatar

Am I allowed to disallow marriage bashing in my thread? Geez… Do it right next time guys :P

Blackberry's avatar

@Facade Oh yes I apologize, for someone that still has faith in marriage, having your faith constantly criticized must be annoying lol.

I did not do it right, that’s why I am really upset. This time, I’ll do it right or not do it at all, no half-assing lol.

Facade's avatar

@Blackberry Sounds good =)

john65pennington's avatar

Bobo, working in traffic was probably the very best job a police can have. although, i was a detective for 13 years, i believe the traffic position was much more rewarding. thanks for the comback. john

Facade's avatar

@john65pennington Can you elaborate on that? I can’t see how working in traffic would be more rewarding than being a detective.

Jude's avatar

University/teacher’s college, dated a guy for two years. Almost married said guy/pregnancy scare. Admitted to myself that I was gay. Breaking it off with the guy. Dating women. Teacher’s assistant (making little) money. Lesbian bars, concerts, festivals, drinking, dancing and debauchery. At 27, I entered into a relationship with an older woman (she was 37) and we were together for 10 years. Life was good.

john65pennington's avatar

Facade, in my department, a traffic investigator is the position every officer wanted. it paid more and was much more of an elite job. don’t get me wrong, being a detective was also very rewarding. actually, now that i think about it, they were both equal. thanks for asking. john

BoBo1946's avatar

@john65pennington really…i find that very interesting. The dectective job seems so interesting. I watch Law and Order, everyday….never miss it. Also, watch Bones, Closer, and lately a new show called the Memphis Beat. Love to watch any show that involves police investigation. My Dad was a policeman and my Uncle was a highway patrolman. I had a real interest in it, but loved to coach…that was my first love.

mowens's avatar

I am 26. I love my life, I love my friends, and I love what I do.

My only complaint is that I am not challanged at work, and I don’t know what to do to make that right. :)

Blackberry's avatar

@mowens Go to your boss and state confidently: “Give me a challenge sir/ma’am”. :)

Austinlad's avatar

My 20s were amazing. I spent most of those years in New York City, where I attended school and started my career. I learned how to live away from my family. I gained some perspective on the world. I met some well known and fascinating people. I lost my virginity. I saved a guy’s life. I developed a lifelong passion for reading. And I guess most of all, I became an adult.

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

I’m about halfway through my 20’s right now. The first half was spent in college. There I worked a couple of different jobs during summers, and studied pretty hard while I was in school. I also had quite a few friends both from college, and from my home town (which was close, but not too close to where I went to college). With them, I spent a good deal of time traveling, enjoying the outdoors, and partying. It was a good time; full of fun, mistakes, and lessons. I graduated this past winter, near the top of my class.

I’m currently working on my first full-time job (related to my field of study) since graduating. It has required me to travel 3,700 miles from my home, to an area that is a bit isolated. I’ve been pretty nomadic too, as this is just a summer job, and I decided against getting a permanent address. But, it’s been a pretty interesting experience, and I’ve been able to go places and do things that many people are not able to do.

Pretty soon my time here will be over, and I’ll head back home to look for a non-temporary job. I’m still single, but I’m experiencing and enjoying life. :)

john65pennington's avatar

Bobo, being a detective is very time-consuming. i received a body threat at least once a month, while investigating all kinds of crimes. just remember that television is sensationalism for the viewer and not true to life. Memphis Beat is as close as it gets.

BoBo1946's avatar

@john65pennington really like that show. Hope it becomes a series!

Understand about the time consumption part of the job. When I was working in insurance, worked arson and frauduent theft claims for many years; very time consuming. Also, I know about threat part….had two insured to pull a gun on me…. Could write a book on those years. Sitting in court for days waiting to testify was no fun. Did not like running down all the “stuff” that our attorneys wanted. I was really happy when i left that part.

john65pennington's avatar

Bobo, me too. i love the uniform, because no two days were ever alike. i remember receiving a Code 3 call one time, while eating a Spicy Chicken Sandwich in my police car. this call was a traffic accident with people trapped inside. i had Ranch Dressing all over me and the inside of my car. you have not lived until you have run a Code 3 call, while eating a sandwich at the same time. yes, it was dangerous, but i did not travel that fast and it was early in the morning with very little traffic on the road.

BoBo1946's avatar

Loll…i did the same thing. Your comments causes a flood of memories! Remember this guy calling me from the State Penitentiary wanted to give me information on an arson case and how fast i drove down there. It was a two hour drive and did not want him to change his mind. I could talk about that case for a month.

aprilsimnel's avatar

I used to think my 20s were a complete waste because I didn’t get filthy rich or married during that time. I don’t believe that anymore. I think I needed the space to start letting the poisons of childhood leach out. If I had gotten any substantial money or married in my 20s, I think I’d’ve lost either or both by 30, I was that insecure.

It was certainly a turbulent decade. I was so afraid of being my own person, and living my own life; too scared to pursue my career, too afraid to garner attention or assert myself in any way, afraid to behave as an adult woman, terrified of cutting people out of my life who needed to go – because that meant I’d have to create a life and an identity without their input, and I believed that they knew me better than I knew myself.

I let completely unnecessary guilt cloud my ability to follow my intuition. I was terrified that whatever I did or thought, someone who knew better would come along shortly to severely punish me. I was wasting too much energy trying to please people who weren’t going to ever be pleased, for one thing, and who didn’t deserve such consideration from me for another.

I started therapy to deal with all this mess at 32.

mowens's avatar

@Blackberry The problem is, I am in IT. The challenges I get are fixing problems or creating soultions. That is not challanging to me anymore. I am trying to get into the sales side, or management for more of a challenge.

Chrissi85's avatar

I’m half way through them. I am dirt poor, trying to get work, and just getting by. I have also never been happier. I have everything I need, friends, my partner, my house, and enough food on the table. With the exception of a decent job, who could ask for more? (without being greedy of course)

Cruiser's avatar

First two years I was finishing up college and that was more fun than should be legal. The rest of that decade was starting and running my own business(s) and lots of highs and lows. Generally it was a decade of further exploration between what I thought was possible…finding out what was impossible and having a ton of fun going places in between.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I was a young Army engineer officer, serving in Missouri, Alaska, Antarctica, Idaho, North Carolina and Georgia. Finished off my twenties teaching ROTC and finishing a Masters degree at Georgia Tech.

Aster's avatar

I was very busy then having kids, going back to various colleges and playing the wife and mommy routine. We moved quite a bit and that was educational and back then, not tiring. I lost my identity, identified with my then husband and lived thru and for him and the kids. He would work on another degree and I kept it all together. When I left 20 years later, I did not know who I was and that is so hard to explain. Without him I seemed to be a vacuum, just air standing in a desert. I found out within a week who I was and it was exciting and quite the eye opener

YARNLADY's avatar

Wow, my 20’s were the most interesting part of my life, and not always in a good way. I had a baby and lost my first husband just before my 21’st birthday, remarried, we lived as hippies for several years, then I worked while he finished college, he got a job, and I stayed home. We experienced the ups and downs of raising a son and took in foster kids, then I lost my second husband just before my 30th birthday.

I have been happily married to my third husband for 35 years now, and raised my second son, and have six grandchildren.

Brian1946's avatar

About 3 months after I turned 20, I met my first girlfriend at San Fernando Valley State College, which is now known as Cal State Northridge or CSUN.

Later that year, I went to the Summer Solstice celebration at Golden Gate Park in San Fran during the Summer of Love in 1967.

I stayed in SF, lived the hippy life there for about 6 or 7 weeks, until I decided to go back home to LA and return to my job at the post office.

I started working for AT&T/Pacific Bell when I was 21.

I joined the US Navy when I was 21 to avoid combat in the Vietnam War, and I was stuck in the Navy until I was 25.
However, being in the Atlantic fleet of the USN did enable me to avoid any combat. :-)

Later that year (Thanksgiving weekend, 1972) I went downhill skiing for the first time.

I bought the house in which I still reside when I was about 27.

That same year I went on my first backpacking trip to the Sierra Nevada mountains.
Even though I was 30 pounds overweight, sunburned, and got about 3½ hours of sleep the previous night, we hiked up to and over Kearsarge Pass.

By the next year I had lost about 30 pounds and was in much better shape.
That year was the first time I went to Yosemite. We hiked up to the top of Vernal Falls and swam in the pool just above it.

When I was 29 I joined the Sierra Club.

Later that year (Labor Day weekend, 1976) we backpacked up to the summit of Mount Whitney (14,495 feet).

I’m mostly satisfied with what I did.

About the only thing I’d do differently is not go to Busch Gardens, get drunk, and get my knee injured.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

I’m 25 and going to school. I got started late, which I regret, but because of certain life circumstances, it was out of my control. I’ve decided to get my Master’s in Anthropology (possibly a PhD someday). Things are very stressful because I haven’t taken a single break since starting school, my best friend killed himself not even a year ago, and I ended a long-term relationship that I’d been in for most of my adult life. Although I did party sometimes (never regularly), and I did experiment with drugs in my early 20s (again, never regularly), I also got pregnant in my early 20s, which was a huge deal (what decision to make) etc… I would say that my 20s have been okay so far. I haven’t really been satisfied up until this point, but that’s what I’m working on now.

Scooby's avatar


So where is the kid???

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@Scooby I made the decision to get an abortion. It wasn’t an easy thing to do, but to this day, I still feel that it was the right choice to make.

Seek's avatar

I’m 24.

So far, I had a good secretary/receptionist job with the County, I moved out of my parents’ house, married my husband, then broke off contact with my mother and the rest of my abusive family (Victory for me!!). Left my church. Lost the job due to budget cuts. Realised I’m an atheist. I had a son – the most wonderful little boy I’ve ever been around. We’ve worked through a year of unemployment for both of us (during the pregnancy no less!) I took a horrible job with a crazy small business owner. My husband landed a good job so I was able to quit and stay home with the baby. I admitted to my husband that I am an atheist. For the last year we’ve had some legal trouble that’s left us completely broke again. Now we’re going through foreclosure, and getting ready to move to the next phase of our life, in a different home – whenever we can find one that we can afford that will also let us take dogs.

Did I mention I love my life? Because I do. For all the rough patch we’re going through, I have a wonderful husband that loves me to death, whom I love dearly as well, and the greatest little boy anyone could ask for. These are the best days of my life.

shpadoinkle_sue's avatar

I’m 25 and it isn’t what I think my 20’s ought to be. I had to grow up super quickly because of certain home environments and it’s knocked my maturity level and actual age out of sync. I’d like to be more like my friends, but it’s hard to relate. After high school, it was a lot of waiting and working my butt off to no avail. I think it’s going to change in the next year of so.

augustlan's avatar

I always felt out of synch with others my age. Like @py_sue, I grew up way too fast, and was pretty much an adult by 15. I got married at 19, and we bought our first home when I was just 21. I was, by far, the youngest owner in the neighborhood. Just of legal age to drink, but while others my age were out bar hopping, I was house poor. We still had a lot of fun, though. Aside from the money, we were pretty care-free. I always had decent jobs, but not terribly thrilling or challenging ones. At 27, I became a mother for the first time and felt like I’d found my purpose in the world. It wasn’t until I turned 30 that I finally felt I was an appropriate age for the stage of life I was in. So far, my 40s have been awesome. :)

silvermoon's avatar

I’m still in my 20’s… i’ll let you know in 8 years when I hit 30.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I am 26 and my life has always been intense. At the beginning of my 20’s I was at NYU studying pre-medicine, biology, anthropology and Russian literature. I was in a long-term monogamous (though I’ve had my indiscretions) relationship and engaged to be married. Right around the time I turned 21 (in Amsterdam, of all places!), I was living in London, studying abroad and drinking a whole lot of tequila. What followed was my horrid experience with quitting Paxil, suicidal times and coming back to time to be part of the Howard Hughes Honors Institute (I did evolutionary research on c. elegans worms) and to get married (big wedding, many people, very typical in some ways)...I had my first child by the time I was 22, entered a severe postpartum depression state and had to heal from that for a while…once I was out of the ‘dark times’, I realized my husband and I were no longer on the same level and when I found, I wound Alex, my now husband…obviously, we had a whirlwind romance after falling in love online and left our marriages…he moved here shortly thereafter and we were in a polyamorous arrangement with another person I met on…life in our ‘commune’ (with my best friend as the fourth member) was insane and wonderful…life dealing with my ex was not…I had a miscarriage sometime when I was 24, which was difficult to go through…I got pregnant with my second child 4 months later…all the while I finished my B.A. in Biology, rejected the idea of medical school and finished my MPH in South Africa…I had my son when I turned 25 on my birthday and now he’s a year and a half…I have never looked back.

mowens's avatar

Oh I ran in a marathon in anchorage, Alaska when I was 22. Since then I’ve pretty much worked my ass off at my career. No matter how hard I work and how far I advance, I still feel likena failure.

SVTSuzie's avatar

Thinking back, awesome and fun. During that time I was miserable.

mattbrowne's avatar

Hard study mixed with wild partying.

SVTSuzie's avatar

Extremely fun.Awesome. I was miserable at the time but I had a great time. I was a punk rocker when “it” started.

SVTSuzie's avatar

Sorry Guys, I don’t know why the question appeared on my private thingy?! Again, that is.

gailcalled's avatar

@SVTSuzie : How can you be miserable and have a great time simultaneously?

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