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Jude's avatar

When you're feeling anxious, is there anything that your SO does to help calm you down?

Asked by Jude (32134points) August 2nd, 2010

For me, it’s weird. I need to hold her (whilst lying on the sofa or bed). For some reason that helps with my anxiety. Also, when she rubs my back it’s nice, but, I prefer to give her a back rub. It lessens my anxiety. She has it pretty good, lol!

I just feel as though I need her near me (touching her somehow).

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24 Answers

MissA's avatar

That’s a beautiful thing @jjmah.

This is a VEry new deal at my house…but, my husband has begun to touch me every time he is in close proximity. There’s touching and then there’s TOUCHing. I love it, love it, love it. Anything causing me anxiety seems to become smaller.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

There’s two very nice things there, MissA and jjmah. That’d take care of my anxiety.

Aster's avatar

No, not really. Usually he has no idea how I’m feeling.

Your_Majesty's avatar

Touching/stroking/petting furry pets will reduce your anxiety. You can also read a book.
I usually use my aromatherapy for a lot of cases,so I think you could you lavender and chamomile for anxiety (for massage and incense).

Jude's avatar

@Doctor_D I’ve been holding onto Frank (my kitty) for the last 20 minutes. Physically holding something in my arms helps (for some reason). He was lying there like a sack of potatoes, purring away.

tranquilsea's avatar

He takes the kids out of the house to give me a break.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Nothing says love like a good tasering.

hug_of_war's avatar

Getting me to calm down when I’m anxious is just about impossible, he tries, but through no fault of his own is never fully successful.

tinyfaery's avatar

Just being near her and hearing her voice can help to soothe me.

lapilofu's avatar

When I’m feeling anxious, I usually prefer to be alone. It doesn’t happen to me often, but when it does, I prefer to work out bad feelings by myself—and I let the people around me, SO or otherwise, know. I don’t know exactly why this is, but being around another person who is trying to take care of me usually just makes me more anxious. There are occasionally exceptions.

le_inferno's avatar

I thought about this for a while, and couldn’t come up with anything. Probably because I’m hardly ever anxious. Stressed, but not anxious. My boyfriend is the worrier, and I’m always the one telling him to calm down and relax :D People get uptight about the most trivial things…

Frenchfry's avatar

Tell me to have a drink. and go relax in the bedroom and chill.

marinelife's avatar

He spoons me in bed or puts a hand on my back or my chest.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

He’s the only one I allow to touch me when I’m upset or anxious. He can lay completely on top of me to help cool me off, so to speak. He looks into my eyes and talks softly about random things. When I was in labor with Ark and both the baby and my heartbeats were too high and the doctor wanted to do a c-section, I told the doc no and told him to give me an hour to fix the situation…I knew that Alex would help me get out of the state and when everyone left, he sat by me and told me the story of how we met and how we fell in love and how we got pregnant and so on and so forth and eventually I calmed down and the baby and it was all good from then on.

BoBo1946's avatar

yep, she says, “if you don’t calm down, i’ll get out my can of “whoopass!”

janbb's avatar

Snuggling up next to him in bed with his arm around me and my head on his shoulder.

YARNLADY's avatar

He will do whatever I ask him, but he isn’t exactly what you would call empathetic.

Cruiser's avatar

She gives me a wedgie! Nothing puts things in perspective more than a feet off the floor wedgie!

perspicacious's avatar

His voice is enough.

Frenchfry's avatar

@Cruiser LOL Hmm now that’s a idea.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

My SO’s ability to use logic is always enough to provide a calming effect. It helps me take a step back from the situation and look at it from a bigger picture. Works like a charm.

Dewey420's avatar

heck ya back rub and scalp rubs.. my ex always played that 10 seconds then “Oh i forgot i have to blah blah blah” even tho i did it for almost a full length movie sometimes. I’m just a caring nurturer like that. my feet are ticklish socks on.

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