Social Question

lapilofu's avatar

Do you worry about being alone?

Asked by lapilofu (4320points) August 8th, 2010

If not now, then later in life? How do you deal with this fear? Become part of a committed relationship? Suck it up? Optimism?

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31 Answers

mrentropy's avatar

At this point in time I think it’s my fate to be alone, so I’m not going to worry about it.

BoBo1946's avatar

I’m happy with myself…if something comes along fine, if not, I will still be happy.

gravity's avatar

No, being alone is fine with me. Some people confuse being lonely with being alone. You can be alone and happy without being lonely.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Yes, somewhat. It’s more that I fear I might be “difficult” to deal with in an intimate relationship, like I’d be too needy or something. I don’t know if that’s actually true, because I’m still not quite sure what constitutes me being “too needy” or if that’s just some residual bullshit from my family and misguided home training or whatever, but I wonder sometimes if men I’m attracted to look at me and think, “Oh, gawd, Who could deal with that all day? No thanks!”

And I couldn’t even tell you what “that” is in any concrete terms. So I say nothing to indicate interest in any guy I’ve been attracted to. In that sense, I wonder if I’ll end up alone.

Now that I write this out, it sounds ridiculous. I’m no more annoying or needy than anyone else. If anything, the men who show their attraction to me tend to be clingy types who want a new mommy, which makes me sad. Thanks for posing the question, @lapilofu. I guess I have some more sorting out to do on this.

Cruiser's avatar

No not at all in fact at times I dream about it.

Austinlad's avatar

I’m okay with being alone, too. I’ve been married, but that turned out to be not my cup of Oolong. So now I have my friends, my cat, my house, my job, my interests and an occasional date. No complaints.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Austinlad :))) my friend!

perspicacious's avatar

I thought I would probably stay alone for the rest of my life, but I’m now reconsidering.

Frenchfry's avatar

I do at times. My husband is 13 years older then me. I suppose I will get used to it. I won’t get married again. Three is my limit.

Coloma's avatar

I’m good.

Was married forever, divorced 7.5 years now. I love my space, just the way I want it, like it.

I am very comfortable with myself, enjoy my solitude even though I am very social and outgoing as well.

Like today…just perfect, kicking around rearranging my house, looking forward to a bit of wine, a nice little dinner, maybe a fire outside tonight.

It’s all good, I’m happy and content.

I would not turn down getting to know a nice person but I am in no way fearful or needy and being alone is just fine with me.

JilltheTooth's avatar

I love being alone. I have a busy social life and get to come home to the quiet and the dog. I’ve felt lonelier in relationships at which I seriously suck than I ever have being alone.

Aster's avatar

I , for one, will admit the idea of being alone makes me anxious and sad. I have always loved all my private time; I think women are “made” for that; for being alone. I’m good company for myself. But it’s the change ; the unknown. Being alone in a house week after week, month after month is , frankly, daunting.
But I Know beyond a doubt I’ll come out on the other side with acceptance followed by peace.
It’ll be just one more trial to get through. And I do have kids, after all. I hope they don’t try to tell me what to do! LOL !

harple's avatar

I’ve spent the last year living alone for the first time in my life (have always been in full on relationships, or even married, before), and it’s been really, really good for me (the living alone bit I mean)... that said, I do get lonely quite frequently. At those times I try to meet up with friends, which is lovely, but not really embracing my aloneness I guess! I hope I won’t be alone forever, but I wouldn’t say I worry about it… I’ve been in relationships before, I’ll be in them again (though hopefully not too many more!)

polinsteve's avatar

Yes I do. I worry about being alone and worry even more about being lonely. I am now resigned to life alone so c’est la vie

YARNLADY's avatar

Not anymore. I have a loving family to last the rest of my life.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Nope. So long as I’m not so alone that I don’t even have 911 and emergency services, I’m fine all by myself.

daytonamisticrip's avatar

I am alone threw my most of my life. I almost never am near a loving human hand. but i always can rely on having my cats,dog,and being able to howl to cousins of the wolves.
i am not afraid of loneliness. If all else is gon i always have my thoughts.

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

Sometimes. I’ve never been in love, or even in a very serious relationship. I enjoy solitude and don’t mind being alone, but I do sometimes worry about never finding someone else to spend my life with. But for the time being, I’m quite content.

syz's avatar

I’m in a long term, committed relationship now, and I’m very happy. But I was also happy when it was just me – in fact, sometimes I miss it. I have no problem with being alone.

le_inferno's avatar

No. I’m only 19 and have plenty of time to find someone to grow old with.

Cruiser's avatar

@le_inferno GA! You have the right attitude!

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I sure don’t ;)

CaptainHarley's avatar

No, I don’t worry about being alone, but I won’t be alone for very long if my wife predeceases me. Life without her will kill me.

cookieman's avatar

Burt Bacharach chokes me up every time:

I’m not meant to live alone. Turn this house into a home.
When I climb the stair and turn the key,
Oh, please be there still in love with me.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I’m somewhat autistic, so being alone doesn’t bother me at all. Until I was 38, I truly believed that I was a loner. When my Meg died last year, I thought I’d spend the rest of my life alone. I was wrong both times.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

There is a famous saying in Spanish: Mejor sola que mal acompanada.

Loosely translated: Better to be alone than to have a bad companion.

So, being alone is the least of my worries…being with a complete idiot…now, that would be a problem.

I am very fortunate in that I am very comfortable being alone. I am a romantic, but I am not not going to worry that I will die alone. I have too many people who love me for that to happen. And if Mr Person Who Has Been Looking for Me finds me, nice…but if not, life is too short to fret.

Iclamae's avatar

When I was in high school and had never had a boyfriend, I worried about being alone for the rest of my life. When I got to college and stopped worrying about it, started enjoying myself on the town, and making something of myself as a woman in science and art, I met someone and am still with him after 4 years.

If we were to split, I wouldn’t be afraid of being alone. While my boyfriend brings out the best of me, there is a large time commitment to a relationship. As with anything, being alone or in a relationship comes with certain trade offs. I trade off a chunk of alone time to be with him, live with him, and learn from him. If we break up, I’ll have more time to myself for getting things done, but I won’t have the hugs at night or certain creative stimulants.

I am not afraid of either choice. There is discovery to be had either way.

downtide's avatar

I used to be afraid of that but I’m not any more. In fact if my current relationship were to end I think I would rather remain alone than seek another one.

augustlan's avatar

Not at all. While going through a divorce, that was one thing that struck me… unlike most of my divorced friends, I looked forward to being alone. I was never once afraid of the prospect, and even planned to be purposely alone for the rest of my days. Life had other plans, though. I’m happily re-married. :)

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