Social Question


Have you ever found out something about someone you adore, that was an instant turnoff?

Asked by RANGIEBABY (2097points) August 11th, 2010

If someone you love and adore, has revealed something about themselves, that was a total turnoff, could you get your adoration of them back?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

35 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Yes. But that’s all I’m going to say.

Frenchfry's avatar

Yes!! My husband, I adore him, He hawks a loogie every morning. Augh!. I tell him everytime. That’s gross. I mean I use adore morning sex but now he hawks one. I turn over and go to bed.

CMaz's avatar

Yes. She was/is a sociopath. No.

Aster's avatar

I can still love them even if I think they’re disgusting. LOL

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

Not entererly someone I love but someone I had a crush on, I told him how I felt, He responded with “Okay”
Later on I found out he had a girlfriend – I stopped liking him and the thing killing me now is that we are going to go to the same school next year!!!

*****FUCK MY LIFE!****

iWitch's avatar

Yes, that’s happened to me before. Usually I just kind of soak it in and lock it away somewhere and get over it. Later it resurfaces and I complain to a friend about it. Mild annoyance or disgust never overcomes love.

El_Cadejo's avatar

Ehhh not exactly love/adore but look up to. When I found out they did coke it kinda messed with me a while and I thought less of them.

They dont do it often at all anymore though maybe 1–2 times a year so I got over it.

escapedone7's avatar

His criminal record. LOL

BoBo1946's avatar

yes, but it is over!

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Yes, but I guess it goes both ways. Perhaps others have found out things about me that put them off!

janbb's avatar

Unfortunately, I kept coming up against the fatal flaw and yet kept ignoring it.

ucme's avatar

There was this girl at school once who I fancied the arse off. During one particular lesson I turned round to gawp at her &........well let’s just say she was “stringing it” from her nose. Never felt the same about her after that. Still, plenty more fish in the sea as it turned out.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Uhm I haven’t found out anything yet from the one I adore, but I don’t know. I haven’t really found anything that a girl would do to “turn me off” yet? Well at least one my age that would do immature things…. But I can’t say since I would still like them since I know she wouldn’t like something about me and still adore me…right?

Seek's avatar

Sure. Hakuna matata.

MissAusten's avatar

Not someone I’ve liked in a romantic way, but someone I admired. A couple of people, actually. There’s a married couple I know that I always thought had everything figured out. They seemed to have the perfect life, even to someone kind of cynical like me. Good jobs, good money, great house, wonderful kids. A while ago I found out the husband had been having an affair, the other woman told the wife (who was a good friend of hers) and the wife decided the friend was lying from jealousy. The husband went along with that theory. I can’t respect either of them as much, him for cheating and her for turning a blind eye. It’s become clearer over time that they are having problems in their marriage and both complain about a lack of intimacy and blame the other person.

They are relatives and I am not supposed to know about their problems (my husband tells me everything anyway), and I do like each of them quite a bit still. I just don’t look at them the same way.

ducky_dnl's avatar

My friend turned from this pro-life person to prochoice, he drank, he cussed, but I couldn’t stop loving him. It’s weird that I overlooked all of that and still loved my friend, but I can’t seem to do the same with other guys.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

I went from total infatuation to telling him off in 30 seconds with my first crush. He said that he thought a woman’s place was in the kitchen.

le_inferno's avatar

@Frenchfry Lmao, I do that. So do my brothers. We all get pretty bad phlegm in the mornings. I try not to do it in front of my boy, though. That’s gross.

Well, when I first was getting to know my boyfriend, I couldn’t decide if he was chubby or not. You know how guys are often thin everywhere except for their middle, which is kinda doughy? I would kinda scrutinize him under his loose t-shirts. (It was hard!) Finally I saw him shirtless and was like… Mehhh. It was a slight turn off, but of course it’s of little significance. Plus, I love his soft tummy :) Forget chisled abs, those don’t make a good pillow. The slight boobies though, I could do without.

stardust's avatar

Yeah, that happens from time to time with people. Honestly though, I’d put that down to my own expectation/fantasy of a person and how they should act. So that’s the turn-off there in itself. That said, sometimes it’s better to keep on walking.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

I’ve only told this story to 4 people until now.

My sister, who was 14 years older than me, got married when I was 10. She was a teacher in our town, and when my parents started traveling for business meetings, I stayed with sis on their 14 acres in the country. My BIL, who is 21 years older than me, taught me archery, how to fix things, ride a motorcycle, care for a fish pond, etc. He was like a second dad.

Sis and her husband divorced after about 24 years together. He wouldn’t give up the house, so she took out a loan and bought one for their 3 girls and herself. Shortly after they moved in, I went to visit. She put me to work painting the basement walls while she took the kids to the local park. Her ex-husband showed up and started to help with the painting. In the midst of it, he said, “I love you and will continue to do so until you find someone else.”

What a freaking shock. It was really hard to live with this. Whenever I was in town, a few family members would say, “you should go and visit him.”

It’s been about 8 years now, and I’m comfortable enough to be in the same room with him and be cordial, but it ends there.

le_inferno's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer OMG. Is that why they divorced? Does your sister know about this?

gemmasgma's avatar

yes, I found out that my husband, whom I adored, had a child he walked away from 25 years ago. He left a single 20 year old girl to raise a child on her own, and he never even helped financially. I am torn, because when he met me, I was a single parent, and he has been a wonderful stepfather to my children, when their own father couldn’t be bothered, so I always thought he was a good guy, but I cannot reconcile this past behavior with the person I know now.

El_Cadejo's avatar

@gemmasgma maybe he was so great with your children because he feels horrible about what he did with his so this is his way of making up for it?

gemmasgma's avatar

perhaps. It makes me wonder what else I don’t know about him. Took him 15 years to tell me.

Seek's avatar


I wouldn’t hold it against him too much. Obviously he’s not the same (I assume) late teen or 20 something he was 25 years ago. People do grow and change – some a little later than others.

cookieman's avatar

Yes. My father about six months before he died. And no, I sadly don’t respect him as much as I did.

But he’s gone now and I certainly wouldn’t stop loving him because of it.

perspicacious's avatar

Yes, I can think of one instance.

momnipotence's avatar

Yes….and now he does it just because he knows I have issues with it…it’s kind of cute…but a turn off all the same….weird I know.

augustlan's avatar

When I was a teenager, I had a boyfriend who had worked long and hard to win me over (I didn’t much care for him initially). So, I finally let my guard down and took a chance on him. Things were going along swimmingly… he adored me, treated me well, etc. One night on the phone he expressed the belief that all black people should be bombed from the face of the earth. Um, WTF. Needless to say, it was over in 10 seconds flat. Should’ve trusted my first impression!

BoBo1946's avatar

@augustlan wow…. love is a gamble! Better to play the game and lose, than to never have played at all. Life is a funny game. As I get older, it just get funnier, funnier, and just down right funny. There is no way to take too much serious here or i would never get out alive…loll Thinking about your answer, you can live with a person for years, and never know them. Scary.


@augustlan I had a mother in law that made remarks like that. I bit my tongue, until I just couldn’t any more. I finally told her that was the most absurd thing I have ever heard, and she basically dismissed me. To say the least we did not get along.

downtide's avatar

I found out something about my partner, about a year after I met him, that disturbed me greatly. I very nearly broke it off with him, but I didn’t, and 24 years later we’re still together, and I’m so glad I gave him a chance.

Very often, the past is past, and it bears no relation to the present, or the future.

Jabe73's avatar

Yes, a girl who once liked me. We “met” at a plant I once worked at. I almost went out with her, glad she didn’t know where I lived. Pretty extreme, I will leave it at that.

kissmesoftly's avatar

I adored this boy for a long time. I loved him, really. Anyway, I danced with him (he’s a very good dancer) and I realized that he danced to show off and didn’t take his partner (i.e. me) into consideration. I can’t love a man who only thinks of himself. (I know its sorta dumb, but those few dances I feel were who he is, and even though I am also a good dancer, I felt awkward and useless, just a toy. I adored him for years and overlooked every bad quality about him and then everything was different because of those dances.)

dabbler's avatar

First meal together can be a deal-breaker if I find out the person chews with their mouth open.

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther