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Nullo's avatar

Given the opportunity, would you make your autopsy report ridiculously improbable?

Asked by Nullo (21934points) August 16th, 2010

In Douglas Adams’ The Long, Dark Teatime of the Soul, a private investigator is faced with a true locked-room mystery, involving a decapitation and precise placement of the victim’s head on a turntable. One of the policemen involved is perfectly willing to pass it off as an elaborate suicide just to be difficult.
So I got to wondering: would you make your passing similarly complicated to make sense of?

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12 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Actually, I’d probably want it to make sense to those I love, mostly so I’d do something only my partner would understand.

filmfann's avatar

I am hoping the words “Ridiculously improbable” actually appear on my autopsy report.

wundayatta's avatar

Nope. I wouldn’t want to leave my family any questions about my death. That would only torture them when they have enough to deal with already.

MyNewtBoobs's avatar

Suicide, no. Murder? Conspiracy? Aliens? Hell yeah.

Zaku's avatar

Maybe. Probably not high on my list of priorities, but if as you say, “given the opportunity” and it was easy enough. Depends on the details. I’d likely let my friends and family know and arrange for them not to be messed with, but apart from those considerations, sure. I might prefer to deny the establishment any knowledge of my death.

If there were a form I could sign with a check box for, “Hey, I’m dying, enough with the bureaucracy”, I’d check it.

ragingloli's avatar

No. I would not be around to enjoy it, so why bother.

jerv's avatar

If possible, I would like make my autopsy report difficult by not dying.

Ron_C's avatar

I would like my report to ask “why did he look so suprised?”
By the way, didn’t the phonograph holding the head repeat “hot potatoe, don’t pick it up, don’t pick it up”?

meagan's avatar

This sounds like an x-file to me…

Nullo's avatar

@Ron_C Just “Don’t pick it up, don’t pick it up.” :D

Justice13's avatar

Hell yeah, I’d make my death look like some sort of attempt to hide a secret, which becomes conspiracy about the world governments trying to become a single-unified government that eliminates all rights and has absolute unquestioned power.

Then the true World War would start!

And I’d laugh at everyone back in Hell, and make the Devil feel like how the Asian stereotype feels about his penis.

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