Social Question

chelle104's avatar

Why do some people like to intimidate others?

Asked by chelle104 (272points) August 17th, 2010

What is a person trying to do, when they intimidate others. I have encountered people like this. Usually it’s someone in the work place. I used to let them intimidate me, because of a job, etc. but I soon learned that no one had the right to do this to me. When I spoke up to them it stopped. I since have felt intimidated among friends or family at times. I have also used the same approach, telling them that I do not appreciate their harshness. It doesn’t seem to work very well, I’m afraid. I’ve tried ignoring them as well. What else can I do, to get them to stop intimidating me?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

15 Answers

serafina's avatar

I believe people who do this see things in people that they are envious of and feel that by treating people this way make themselves and their own issues seem better. Very cowardly in my opinion.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

They’re insecure. (Welcome to fluther serafina.)

serafina's avatar

Thank you Adirondackwannabe

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@chelle104 The next time someone tries to do this step back, catalog it away, and then study what that person brings to the table in future discussions. I’m guessing, if you watch closely they don’t bring too much original thought.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

Always attempt to point out the ridiculousness of their words or actions-ask,“Why is it you feel the need to…” or grow some facial hair ;)

ucme's avatar

One inch warrior syndrome if it’s a man. Welded glory hole if a woman :¬D

Cruiser's avatar

You say you “used to let them intimidate me” and people who bully others look for the easy mark and it sounds as though you have tolerated others abuses and they the intimidator’s, pick up on that and abuse away. You are just going to have to keep asserting yourself and let them know you are no longer their doormat and they will have to find someone else to take out their frustrations and lack of self esteem out on!

BoBo1946's avatar

@chelle104 inferiority complex! A defense mechanism to cover up poor social skills. First thing that comes to mind, is the “little man’s complex!” Had a boss once that qualifies for this award. Better description, an asshole that is a very little man!”

john65pennington's avatar

Intimidation is a power game. to control people is their goal. when you have finally had enough, confront the person(s) and tell it like it is. if the problem is in your workplace, contact a supervisor and explain the situation. if a supervisor is the problem, go over his head. you do not have to tolerate this.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Because they’re weak.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

I think we need to be very careful here in labeling all people who might be considered “intimidating.” Many people are intimidated by others, purely because of their own reaction. It is usually tied to the person having a title, fame, etc. They usually are good people that don’t intend to intimidate anyone…it just comes with the territory.

Sometimes one becomes intimidated by another person’s communication style and usually because it is vastly different than their own. My boss used to scare the daylights out of me until I learned that she was a very caring and fair individual and never had any desire to harm another person. It got to the point where I could say to her, “that response made me feel a certain way and that I felt it was out of line.”

Then there are the ones that get their jollies from using intimidation to bully. I’ve only known two. I’ve seen them switch it on and off like a light when in certain situations and depending upon who was in their presence. I am very thankful that I no longer need to be around them every day.

CMaz's avatar

Intimidation is a two way street.

You have to see it and then be effected by it. For it to intimidate you.

I never play that game. I prefer to leave them in their own discontent.

BoBo1946's avatar

@ChazMaz yes it is…came across a lot of that working insurance claims. Actually, enjoyed that part. Once had a guy that brought, not one but two camcorders, to video the claim’s process…just an intimidation factor. I thought it was funny. It was a simple claim..roof leaking. After getting all my information,i sat down him, i wrote the estimate and handed him a check. He said, “that was easy!” loll

Winters's avatar

Some people are strongly effected by some basic instinct of being the Alpha male/female, some people need to be intimidating to cover up some insecurity they have,and a few people just have a naturally intimidating demeanor.

Charm's avatar

Responding to your old post in 2010!
It was good that you were able to assert yourself at work, but I think we need to choose our words carefully with those closer to us, otherwise we could end up isolating ourselves from them altogether & have no friends at all. I fell out with an old friend years ago and we didn’t speak for 4yrs, simply because I thought I knew her well enough to tell her she was being too bossy, Clearly she was offended & reacted unpredictably to how I expected.

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther