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ubersiren's avatar

If the T-Rex from Jurassic Park was attacking, how would I keep my wild 3-yr.-old still?

Asked by ubersiren (15170points) August 19th, 2010

Since the movie taught us that her visual acuity is based on movement, how would you keep a rambunctious preschooler quiet and still to protect your family?

Similarly, if you’ve never seen Jurassic Park, how would you keep a small kid quiet like at the end of The Sound of Music when the Nazis are shining their lights inside the mausoleum trying to find the Von Trapps?

I think my son would give us away and we’d all be dead. How would you manage to survive? In the T-Rex situation, we might be able to sacrifice my son to save the rest of my family, but this probably wouldn’t work for the Nazis. Just kidding- I’d sacrifice myself… probably.

In a life and death situation, how would you keep a crazy kid quiet?

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14 Answers

serafina's avatar

Tell them you are playing a game and they will get a huge gift when they do well. Or keep feeding them sweets, this usually keeps them quiet.

MacBean's avatar

All I can think of now is the final episode of MASH. :(

ucme's avatar

Knock him out!! For those times when only a punch will do…...sounds like a cool advertisement :¬)

marinelife's avatar

Have you tried practicing “We’re all going to die ” if you don’t be still? Make it a game and lengthen the amount of time he has to be still gradually.

MissAusten's avatar

Last I heard, the idea that t-rex could only track movement had been debunked and is no longer considered correct. So, you’d all be eaten and it wouldn’t be your 3 year old’s fault. :) With the Nazis, however, you might be out of luck.

“As for its eyes, it’s believed T-rex had the largest eyes of any land predator. Moreover, with its eyes on the front of its skull, T-rex could see movement and distance. You might have heard in the movie Jurassic Park that T-rex couldn’t see what didn’t move. In fact, Tyrannosaurus had excellent vision and could see its prey without any trouble!”

Just in case, however, you could teach your son the game “Cemetery.” My husband’s cousins play this game with my kids when they get too rowdy. To play Cemetery, you lie on your back with your arms crossed over your chest, close your eyes, and don’t move. The person who plays dead longest wins!

Trillian's avatar

Native American women held their babies tightly with a hand over their mouths while they hid from attacking tribes. According to what I’ve read. Since they did not have a child protective servces bustin’ up into their homes to gripe about saving the lives of herself and her child, apparently it worked fairly well.
In a movie I saw years ago called The Holocaust, a bunch of people were hiding from the Nazis. The baby would not shut up crying and a man offered to help. He killed the baby.

ubersiren's avatar

@MissAusten I know! Science ruins all the fun. I also read that the t-rex was not a hunter, but only a scavenger. But for the sake of this scenario, I was going with Hollywood.

@marinelife Hahaha!That cracked me up. No, but it might be a good idea to start just in case. LOL

@Trillian Oh god, they couldn’t nurse it or just knock it unconscious somehow? How depressing.

Trillian's avatar

@ubersiren Do you refer to the Native Americans or the movie?

Frenchfry's avatar

I think instinct would be put hand over mouth. @MacBean That was so sad.

ubersiren's avatar

@Trillian I meant the movie. I mean, I guess if your life is in danger, you just want to end the threat, so I can’t really judge the guy… but :(

Rufus_T_Firefly's avatar

Duct tape… and plenty of it.

WestRiverrat's avatar

@Trillian They didn’t start covering the mouth when there was danger. Every time the baby cried they would cut its air briefly.

Babies have more intelligence than modern experts give them credit for. The babies soon learned that when they made too much noise unpleasant things happened.

ubersiren's avatar

@Rufus_T_Firefly Shoot, I should implement that practice now!

Rufus_T_Firefly's avatar

@ubersiren – I swear by duct tape and shrink wrap. Even twenty-odd years later my kids still remind me of how much fun they used to have being stretch-wrapped to the tree in front of our house. The trick is to have them stand on a brick or cinder block. Then, when they’re properly wrapped, you just remove the block. Of course, you have to pick a good vantage point from which to enjoy your handiwork. And it helps if your kids have a sense of humor that equals your own. Ah, good times.

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