General Question

youWISHyouknewME_152's avatar

What do I do?

Asked by youWISHyouknewME_152 (43points) March 24th, 2008 from iPhone

so my friend/crush. The one whose dad commited suicide. Well, I asked you guys and I got two different answers. 1. Keep him doing everyday activities. 2. Let him be. Well today was his first day back to school since it happened. Well, he acted normal, but I guess people greive in their own ways. My friends are counting on me to “heal” him. Apparently I’m the perfect person because I’m “practically his girlfriend” I told them that he is not just gonna get over it. But we are all going to the movies Saturday night, and I was wondering. Do I ask him to go so he can get used to being around normality or do I leave him to be with his family?

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5 Answers

jrpowell's avatar

Leave him alone. Being around a bunch of people won’t help because someone will say something stupid.

If you want to help go to the movies with him. And only him. Being around a bunch of people laughing and telling jokes won’t help. Be a shoulder to cry on. Let him be the one to talk about.

cwilbur's avatar

You can’t heal him. Only time can heal him.

Ask him to go to the movies, and let him decide if he’s ready for it.

TennesseeTeacake's avatar

or why not rent some flicks and stay in with him?

bulbatron9's avatar

I would ask him to go, but not mention anything. John makes a really excellent point about someone slipping up, and making a stupid remark. It is not going to take much to make him think of his father. One keyword could trigger an emotional breakdown.

scamp's avatar

While you can’t heal him, you can help him with the healing process. Ask him if he wants to go to the movies, but be prepared for him deciding to want to leave early. A week after my brother committed suicide, my husband took me out to dinner at a place I had always wanted to got to. He thought it would lift my spirits, and so did I. Before we even ordered, I started to panic. it was way too noisy in there, and I couldn’t stand being around so many people laughing when I felt so miserable

. I just about ran for the door. This may or may not happen with him if he chooses to go to the movies, so have an escape plan ready if he can’t handle it. You don’t really need to leave him alone, just be ready to give him all the time and space he needs. Let him know you are there for him, but don’t pressure him into anything. Only time will ease his pain, and it will take a lot of that. You are doing a great job so far, and I think he will always hold you in his heart for this. I wish you both the best.

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