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Aster's avatar

Did you always think divorce was low-class and would never happen to you then it did?

Asked by Aster (19974points) August 20th, 2010

All my young life I rarely heard of divorces and thought they were for “other” people, never for me. Then, at 40, I found mine unavoidable. Did you turn your nose up at them but ended up in one anyway?

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19 Answers

second_guessing's avatar

It certainly did happen to me, despite being with my ideal and being very happy, the loss of our child broke down the marriage and divorce followed.

To be honest i never thought of it or had an opinion on anyone who had gone through divorce in the past.

SuperMouse's avatar

I never thought of divorce as low class per se, but I did think it would never happen to me. As a matter of fact I spent about 20 years in denial because I was so sure it would never happen to me. Even when it became apparent that there was no way I could stay with my ex forever, the whole thing felt very surreal to me. In all honesty it was the best move I could have made, for myself and for my children, but it was just so unreal at the time.

@second guessing, my sincerest condolences on the loss of your child.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@second_guessing My sincerest condolences as well. That’s heartbreaking.

Aster's avatar

@SuperMouse Same here. A year after we bought the house and 50 acres that were his dream finally answered he “emotionally” dumped it all for a girl our daughter’s age who was on heavy drugs. I could not stand it that he’d find her more appealing than me. My heart broke.
I don’t think I will ever totally recover from it. I thought we had achieved a dream and he turned it into my worst ever nightmare.
@second_guessing My heart goes out to you.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

In a way, yes. I didn’t think they were “low class” but I did think people got them too frivolously and I didn’t consider it would ever happen to me because my husband and I were the kind of people who not only honored fidelity but we also were comitted to trying everything to make life together work. When we came up stumped after several years then it was a horrible blow to me to admit “defeat” and join the ranks of the divorced.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with getting a divorce. People grow and change throughout their lives. If you get to a point where you’re not in synch with your partner, it’s most likely you’ll be better off going your own ways than making each other miserable.

CMaz's avatar

“I never thought of divorce as low class per se, but I did think it would never happen to me.”

Pretty much says it all.

marinelife's avatar

I also did not think of divorce as low class, but I did think it was something that happened to other people. Thus, I stayed in my bad first marriage way too long—nearly five years.

Cruiser's avatar

I never perceived Divorce as an issue of class and oddly in my world it seemed the more money they had the harder and more often they fell. Mine thankfully happened when I was dirt poor though! good riddance to the #$^@‘n Bitch!

flutherother's avatar

Yes, twice!!

Russell_D_SpacePoet's avatar

I never considered them low class. Just tragic in most cases. It’s a shame when two people who were once in love g their separate ways. I think considering them “low class” is kind of judgmental. Strange how things work out. Been there myself good luck.

Frenchfry's avatar

I never thought it would happen to me.. That’s for sure but it happen twice. TWICE. Now I am married a third time. If it happens again. I am done with this marriage thing. I’ll be the old lonely lady on the porch with the cat before Ill ever get married again. I never thought them as low class.

muppetish's avatar

I have never been married and my parents are, as far as I know, still happily married. They will celebrate their twenty-third anniversary in September.

Coming from this household, however, did nothing to subvert my concern about divorce and the role it plays in society. I don’t think it “lower class” at all, just unfortunate. I do not have enough fingers and toes to count the number of friends I had growing up who came from divided houses. Some coped better than others. Some had better single-parents than others with both mother and father still around. Some had a healthy relationship with both their mother and father post-divorce. Some were an absolute wreck and to this day have an entirely unhealthy perception of relationships.

The problem is, no amount of communication or planning can prevent these sort of situations from happening. Some things are beyond our control. I’d much prefer filing for a divorce than continue living in a relationship that simply isn’t working.

NaturallyMe's avatar

I never thought of it as low-class or anything like that, and i’ve never had to go through one. I don’t find myself exempt from the possibility of it happening either, but unless something drastic changes, i don’t foresee it happening in my current marriage.

Aster's avatar

@Frenchfry Laughed out loud !! And I get it !! How about old lady with cat And boyfriends? LOL !!

perspicacious's avatar

No, I never thought of it as low class but I do attribute the rate of divorce today to people marrying when they should be going steady.

Ela's avatar

When I got married I thought it would be forever. Even though it always felt like something was missing. I thought that was just the way it was.
Things happen… people change and one day you realize that this doesn’t feel right. This is not the way it’s suppose to be.
I never turned my nose up at divorce or thought it to be low class. I always thought it was just sad.

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