Social Question

wgallios's avatar

Are you truly single?

Asked by wgallios (1768points) August 20th, 2010

Are you really single? I mean no strings attached, no guy/girl that comes around every so “often”. How many people out there are actually single, no commitments just can do whatever, whenever?

It seems I meet a lot of people, but there is always some baggage somewhere. The ex-bf who still calls, or the wife that you are still married to but do not live with. I really want to know, especially those are really at least 25+.

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27 Answers

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I’m married – but I know a lot of people in the situation you’re describing.

AmWiser's avatar

The only person I know in that situation is my ex sister-in-law. No boyfriend, no ex boyfriend and she is as happy as can be. LOL!

muppetish's avatar

There’s a guy I know who is completely 100% single. I mean it. No bad breakups where someone in the past is hung-up on him, no current situations that he is hung up on. Not in the dating scene at all, either. He’s uninterested. He’d rather make friends. Guys in particular call him out on it saying its weird, but he shrugs it off. The man enjoys his freedom. He’s the most focused, carefree person I know.

Me? Ohhh, I have baggage. Yes, I do.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I’m married. I honestly don’t know anyone that is truly single these days. Most of my friends are either married or in relationships, and the ones that aren’t have lots of baggage.

rebbel's avatar

Chances are that whenever you meet with people from 25 years old and up, they will have baggage, since a (bigger) part of them will have had relationships before.
I was a part of the (i believe) smaller group, my first serious relationship started when i was twenty five, but after it ended, i was a true single (be it with the baggage of having had a relationship).
My baggage was, by the way, not a troubling one, we broke up clean and we, untill this day, have a good friends relationship.
So, there are, i believe, true singles out there, and singles with a (good or (slighty) bad) past.
For you to find the one.
And singles with a past can be good deals too.

chyna's avatar

I am truly single. No baggage what so ever. No ex that comes by, no one to answer to.

mrentropy's avatar

I can honestly say that I am completely single.

zen_'s avatar

GQ – I can honestly say that… I consider myself to be single – and currently sorta dating – but maybe we’re never 100% single after having been married. Maybe some are. ^ says he is.

Edit: @muppet Perhaps he is – but happy and go-lucky? No man is an island.—Maybe he’s gay and shy about it? Wouldn’t be the first even in 2010 – which is sad.

JilltheTooth's avatar

I am human , I have baggage. no debating the human part, please, just for the purpose of discussion yet I can honestly say I am single. It’s deliberate, I’m great at casual dating, but I seriously suck at relationships. There’s more than one really happy guy out there who dodged the bullet in my youth when I freaked out and ran away. So glad I didn’t go through with those plans!

jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities's avatar

Yep, I’m 100% single. It’s just me, myself, and I. I’m not actively dating, which is not to say I would turn down a date if I happened to meet someone I was interested in, but I’m not seeking anyone out. I haven’t had any really bad break-ups in the past, and I haven’t been in a relationship in quite a while. Instead, I’m focusing on enjoying life, furthering my career, and exploring the world. I’m quite content and happy living this way.

aprilsimnel's avatar

Free agent all the way. I think the last time an ex tried to get in touch with me was in 2008. I didn’t reciprocate.

I’m meeting a lot of men consistently at social gatherings, but I’ve not been going on dates, nor have any mutual admiration societies been formed.

TexasDude's avatar

I haven’t been “truly” single since I was 15. There’s always been at least one girl who I had some type of mutual infatuation with, at the very least.

I’m now happily taken, although it’s not “facebook” official yet… because everyone knows, facebook officialism is the true measuring stick of the seriousness of 21st Century relationships~

Frenchfry's avatar

I am really married

Smashley's avatar

Well, I’m 26, and I certainly have my past, but I’ve cleaned up all my past relationships and am now 100% free and clear of them. Those people in my life that I do have an emotional or physical attachment to, I have been very plain and open with and we have always existed within the space of “friends.” They know that I am a wanderer and seeker, and though I’ll never abandon them as friends, I cannot be in a relationship with anyone at this point.

I don’t know if this qualifies as “truly single” but I think for a sexually active person in their mid-twenties, it’s about as close as you’re going to find.

zen_'s avatar

@Smashley Well, I’m 26, and I certainly have my past, but I’ve cleaned up all my past relationships and am now 100% free and clear of them.

Everyone say HI @Smashley


I know what you mean by that – I wish I could do it and not just wish it.

Trillian's avatar

I’m single. And I had a lot of crap to get over, a grieving period, so to speak. But I’m completely single. I have no ex bothering me, no baggage or even a tote bag or overnight case. ;-) I have nothing tying me to where I am, I could pick up and move tomorrow if I felt the urge. Well, except money. I have a job here…you know.
Like @jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities, I’m not actively dating or not dating. I’ve got stuff to do and my time is occupied doing things that I’ve put off for others all my life. Not that I wouldn’t go if an interesting seeming man asked me, but I don’t feel the need to put myself out there.
And I’m way over 25.

Jabe73's avatar

No baggage for me whatsoever. I have no kids, I was never married and any girl I did date is not involved in my life at all. I am in my mid-thirties.

@zen I hope you are joking. Some people are just not into the dating scene. It does not make them gay. What many people do not seem to understand is that the longer you are single the more used to it you get. Not everyone needs to date or be in relationships to be happy. I’ve been single 98% of my life up to this point and I know I am not gay. Many guys are shy as well but are expected to do the majority of the approaching (in 2010 yet). I am older than you but I knew guys that were alot older than me who do not date often at all but would wish to meet a girl. Not all men are the same, the stereotype that men are the “hunters” is nothing but that, a hogwash bullshit stereotype.

Coloma's avatar

I am 100% single.

By choice at this time and for the past few years.

I like my freedom.

muppetish's avatar

@Jabe73 I think zen_ was posing a curiosity question and meant no harm. My friend could very well have simply been shy about divulging his romantic life to his friends. The fact that he is neither gay nor shy does not invalidate the possibility that he could have been.

I also don’t think it is necessarily an insult to be asked if one is gay. Had I turned to my friend and asked, “Hey, are you gay?” He’d have laughed and said “Nah, but thanks for asking first.” When one paints being gay negatively, then I have a problem. I have witnessed friends being asked “Are you gay?” in the context of it meaning that there is something wrong with them. That’s horrible and I cannot believe it still happens.

I understand where you were coming from – the need to subvert a misconception about males – but I think you came on too strong to what was not a question of insult.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@Jabe73 I also think it was just a suggestion on @zen_ ‘s part – he didn’t mean anything by it – good or bad, it was just a question. And though I think you misinterpreted what he was saying, you have a valid point in general, so I gave you a GA.

@muppetish I agree, thus GA.

Jabe73's avatar

@muppetish I have nothing against zen. I may have seemed to come on strong because of what I deal with myself in real life from other people. I am not a homophobe but what does anger me here is the stereotype of not having a girlfriend for very long does make many assume someone may be gay. Yes, I agree that being considered gay as being an insult in the year 2010 is ridiculous. However, when someone really isn’t gay and someone suggests it, it is a major shot against someone. I have no problem getting girls to go out with me personally but I do prefer to spend most of my time alone because that is what I am used to. I do however know several guys that are over 40, even 50 that never had a serious/real girlfriend who wish they did have one, thier self-esteem is low enough as it is to watch everyone else be with someone while being alone (they feel low enough as it is) and than to ask them if they are gay, of course that one will hurt whether you are a homophobe or not. I am just saying what is, not what everyone wants to hear.

DrasticDreamer's avatar

@Jabe73 Yes, all stereotypes suck.

gypsywench's avatar

I think so.

ducky_dnl's avatar

I’m single with no strings attached.

zen_'s avatar

I’ve been divorced forever. I’m way older than you think – and I have no idea why you think you are older than me – not that it has anything to do with anything. I was, of course, making light of it – which is how most of my Gay friends prefer things – here and in RL. Heck, maybe I’m Gay. Go talk to Simone or Dom about it; it’s a very grey thing – not B and W at all – which I actually accept. We’ve all pretty much said the same thing here – and I agree: one doesn’t have to be in a relationship to be happy (and who the hell is happy, anyway? See my happy drunk question…) and the longer you are alone, the easier it gets, and the harder it gets to “compromise.” Of course, these aren’t exactly deep thoughts – these are generalizations.


Coloma's avatar

I am happy.


Maybe it’s the link between the more extraverted and optimistic personalities/temperments, or maybe…it’s just a mindset…the old ’ a man is just about as happy as he makes up his mind to be.’

Happiness is not a constant, there are some moments of less than happy, and some moments of pure joy, but overall on the happiness scale, I enjoy more happiness than not happiness.

This doesn’t mean my life is perfect, I have had my share of pain and grief and loss and have taken some hits with my physical well being and finances this last few years, but…what it IS, is the ability to have gratitude for everything that is right and well and sound in your life and to not forget that awe is everywhere if one but takes notice.

This morning when I went out to let my animals out of their barn the sky was extraordinary, it literally stopped me in my tracks!

Rippling clusters of clouds across the entirety of the morning sky, backlit by the rising sun.

As long as I have eyes to see, there is happiness. :-)

answerjill's avatar

Totally single here.

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