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jesienne's avatar

Why most first-time loves don't last long?

Asked by jesienne (800points) August 24th, 2010

I guess I am the person who lives more in the past rather than present, and I keep tripping on this question, or I should say on this FACT.I don’t see WHY it is an indisputable FACT.

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12 Answers

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

… who said it was an indisputable fact?

Blackberry's avatar

Because it is a first time infatuation. There are millions of people around you, and if one relationship doesn’t work, it is easy to find another one. We are also changing in our personalities, values and morals throughout our lives. A person you are compatible with at age 22 may not be the same person for you at 32.

muppetish's avatar

It’s not an indisputable fact. I know many happy couples (dating, engaged, and married) who are with their first and only love. It can happen – it’s just more of a rarity.

I can only speak for myself, but the reason why my first-time loves didn’t last was because I wasn’t actually in love. I thought the fluttery feelings were love, but they weren’t love-love (crushes, attraction, undying respect – yes, but love? No.) When I fell in love for the first time, I realized all those other times I flung the word “love” around were juvenile conclusions.

Others I have known, their first-time loves didn’t work out because by the time they got to know their significant other better they found stuff out they didn’t like. Big things (beliefs, future goals) and little things (the way they eat, how they talk to their friends, etc.) Also, people change. Change tests relationships. Some crumble while others grow stronger (and I’ve unfortunately seen the former far more.)

@Blackberry Infatuation! That’s the word I was trying to find.

ucme's avatar

Probably because in a lot of cases it’s more on impulse than anything else. Childhood sweethearts however can & often do remain in long term relationships. So I wouldn’t necessarily call it a fact :¬)

Frenchfry's avatar

My did last. Three and half years with a highschool sweatheart. So I guess I don’t fit the norm or fact.

Cruiser's avatar

First time loves are when you are young and clueless to what challenges life will throw your way. Even 30 years later you are still clueless as to what challenges the other will throw your way so I would not work too hard at trying to figure it out.

Scooby's avatar

We were just practising really :-/ One long hot summer… That was it.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Because it’s your first so it’s not going to last long. You may be confused and just want somebody to fill the empty hole you have….But when things rush into stuff it’s most likely it won’t work out in the first place (at least for me….I didn’t even want to rush….) But I mean it’s when your first start out. Don’t expect the first one to be your love for the rest.

Trillian's avatar

Because you are misusing the word “love”.

jesienne's avatar

@Trillian How can you be so sure the word “love” is not the real “love”

Trillian's avatar

“Why most first-time loves don’t last long?”

lonelydragon's avatar

Because both parties are usually young, in their teens to early twenties, and that’s a time period in which one’s personality can change dramatically. After a while, the lovers may find that the other person is not the same one that they fell in love with.

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