Social Question

Jude's avatar

Why do some older men prefer to date (marry) younger women?

Asked by Jude (32112points) August 24th, 2010

Besides the obvious, sex.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

84 Answers

critter1982's avatar

That’s what I like about these high school girls; I get older, they stay the same age!

talljasperman's avatar

energy… less baggage…can still have children

robmandu's avatar

Is the assumption here that younger, attractive women who are willing to date these older men are necessarily vapid, tasteless, and/or gold diggers?

Axemusica's avatar

I really couldn’t tell ya since I’m only 27, but I could tell you I attract the younger girls. Not sure why either. I would date them too, but there is a maturity level that has to be achieved. I usually try to say at least 22. That way they’ve seen the bar seen and have had some time on their own to see what life is really like in the real world.

Axemusica's avatar

@critter1982 I love that movie!

Jude's avatar

I always found it creepy; that there were some control issues.

But, that could have to do with my lack of trust in men.

Jude's avatar

@robmandu Some are broken women looking for a father figure.

Seek's avatar

* applauds @robmandu *

Am I vapid, tasteless, or lacking a father figure? (I’m obviously not a gold digger – we’re broke and I still love him)

Frenchfry's avatar

I married a older man by little over 10 years . We just clicked. He is older, more stable, I find him interesting. Women do mature faster then men. Money has nothing to do with it.

Axemusica's avatar

“But, that could have to do with my lack of trust in men.” Well, @jjmah you could be asking the wrong group of people. Since I think more of the male base here in the collective are trustworthy more over than the D-Bags that take advantage of impressional minds. No?

Jude's avatar

@Axemusica You’re right.

rebbel's avatar

I don’t know at what age you consider a man an old man?
My age is 43, my girlfriend turned 28 this spring, if you see this as an ‘old’ man with a ‘young’ woman i can answer you.
Edit: Let me answer it right away; it was (is) love.

UScitizen's avatar

Because of the older women that they know.

Jude's avatar

I’m thinking that Rob’s going to rip me a knew one. :)

Seek's avatar

@rebbel Almost the same age difference as my husband and I. I’m 24, he’s 40.

nailpolishfanatic's avatar

So they can suck their dicks. And young girls can do everything the older guys want

rebbel's avatar

Nothing wrong with it, eh?
It is not the age that is troublesome per se.

Seek's avatar

I kinda want a “dislike” button for some of these answers.

Jude's avatar

Bad generalization here. Sorry, guys.

I know of a few who swoop in when they come across a younger woman who is “broken”, and want to be a “daddy figure” and make everything all right.

Now, I wish that I could go back and rephrase the question.


Axemusica's avatar

@Thesexier um, I completely disagree. Freaks will be freaks, regardless of age.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Thesexier Easy lady. There’s more to it than that.

Seek's avatar


On the contrary – sometimes I think he needs to grow the heck up. ^_^

LuckyGuy's avatar

I’ve been told that it is cheaper than buying Viagra for the treatment of erectile dysfunction.
I wouldn’t know.

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Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@jjmah Your referring to the trophy wife aren’t you? Just so I’m clear.

Axemusica's avatar

I wouldn’t necessarily say that only younger women would be more of a trophy, @Adirondackwannabe . I have seen some older women that were just Smoke’n, but they were not young and probably were closer in age to their significant more than this topic touched base on.

rebbel's avatar

You are not by chance my girlfriend’s unknown sister, right :-)

nailpolishfanatic's avatar


Guys did it sound that bad? I didn’t think so.
Anyway what I meant is that they could either love them, buy them

Seek's avatar

@rebbel Sadly, I don’t have a big sister.

Austinlad's avatar

Up until my mid-50s, I was attracted to and dated mostly younger women. But one night at a restaurant I saw my much younger date and me in a mirror—saw us through objective eyes—and realized I was still trying to be the young man I remember rather than the middle-aged man I had become. From then on, I found pleasure pursuing women closer my age. In fact, I found them more attractive then younger ones.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Thesexier It came across as a little crude. This from a guy? Sex may be part of the equation but it’s not all of it. I think sometimes the thrill of the contest attracts the men.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I guess part of it is biology. Men want healthy, vibrant women capable of reproduction. It’s not very taboo, either. Though some might find it distasteful – for the most part an older man seen with a much younger woman is more of a victory than something to be ashamed of.
On the contrary, biologically, women are looking for a provider. So for the most part we would probably not be as inclined towards much younger men. Not always, of course. But, this was the most generic answer to come to mind.

Seek's avatar


This is very true.

In fact, in ancient Greece, it was considered not only acceptable, but appropriate that a man seek a bride 15–20 years younger than he. (read in a book called “The History of the Wife” – which was stolen from me, and I can’t remember the author’s name)

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@TheOnlyNeffie Excellent answer. I remember the studies they have done on this.
@Thesexier I’m 49. I want someone that can carry on a good conversation, appreciates the arts, that kind of stuff. Oh and if she’s an animal in the sack, that’s not a bad thing.

Illuminat3d's avatar

Because a beautiful young woman is like a beautiful fresh succulent fruit…hmmm yummy! :)

poofandmook's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr: I really think you’re in the minority though. You’re damned lucky… which is certainly the minority.

Aster's avatar

@Austinlad‘s answer is as honest a reply as you’ll ever read on fluther. Younger women not only make the guy IMAGINE he’s younger, guys also think youth looks good. and they’re right.
My MIL married a man 12 yrs older. She said for many years she didn’t notice what a difference 12 yrs made. Eventually, she said, she found herself ‘married to an old man.’ He died Way before she did. All he wanted to do was sit in his chair and watch tv. She wanted to go dancing and out to eat. She was a wonderful cook and housekeeper and that’s how she lived her life with him.
Generally, youth looks good, aging does not, and gold diggers abound. And older guys are more than willing to marry a young woman in exchange for certain niceties.

chyna's avatar

I’ve always been attracted to and mostly dated younger guys. They seem to have more energy and stamina and I don’t mean sexually (well that too).
So maybe it’s the same with some of the men that date younger women, they want someone to do things with, to make them feel alive and vibrant.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@chyna That’s interesting. Maybe the guys are looking for the same thing?

kheredia's avatar

mid life crisis ;-)

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I’m thinking chyna might have hit an angle I missed. The guys that end up with younger women typically seem like the vibrant, successful men, accomplished professionally, etc. Maybe they go after the younger women for the alive vibrant feeling?

Scooby's avatar

I don’t know about marry but……. Nothing wrong with a young fit lass to go out with, there’s nothing trophy about it for me, my friends for the most part are a similar age to me…. :-/
None less than thirty.
They’re all just great fun to be with, around….......

chyna's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe The guys I have met that are my age never want to do anything but watch TV, My ex husband was 6 years younger than me and we did something most weekends, wheather it was camping, just taking a drive, having a cookout, etc. He also took a walk with me almost every evening. The last guy I dated that was my age would barely get up to go to the deck.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@chyna I was thinking the same way. I’ve never seen a younger “trophy” for lack of a better term wife with a broken down older man. Well there was Anna Nicole..

chyna's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Yes, but all of America knew why she married that old guy, and it wasn’t for his prowess in bed. :-)

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Older guys like younger gals because they are more easily impressed and likely haven’t developed the emotional stability that a more mature woman would have earned. Thus younger gals are presumably easier to control, which is exactly what an insecure older man wants.

Jude's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies That’s what I was thinking.

Scooby's avatar


Speaking for yourself ? ;-)

Seek's avatar

From my husband’s perspective, as he has often said, to me and others—

He was 35 when we met. Never married, no kids.

He wanted someone who wasn’t jaded by former marriages, and that wouldn’t have children already. Who needs that kind of drama if they can avoid it?

That is, of course, on top of the normal wants like friendship, conversation, shared musical tastes, common interests, etc.

Then he met me! A nerdy girl who likes good music, plays D&D, likes sci-fi, enjoys reading, likes horror movies, talks about intelligent things, never married, no kids, emotionally mature… and just happened to be 19.

Jude's avatar

That’s what I was thinking in some cases, I meant to say..

Blackberry's avatar

Their vaginas get extremely wet….dear god it’s almost enough to make believe in god…..

Scooby's avatar


FFS Lol….......... ;-)

Jude's avatar

@Blackberry lol, I beg to differ..

le_inferno's avatar

Could be in seek of a thrill… younger women are more attractive to them, fun, spontaneous, more sexually active.

Nullo's avatar

Aesthetics? I dunno, I’m not old. Someone posted around here the observation that the female figure can be quite restful for the eyes. On the whole, younger female figures are more feminine than older female figures.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

It strokes their ego and makes them feel younger.

Aster's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies You’re right! Younger women are more easily impressed. Good show!

shadowofdeath's avatar

@Seek_Kolinahr Marilyn Yalom?

my thoughts would be money,thenagain it also depends on exactly how old we are talkin here. 3–7 years older isnt entirely abnormal but when you got a 21 yo with a 60 yo then you most likely have an ulterior motive.

BoBo1946's avatar

Geezers may feel younger, but dating younger women won’t make them younger. No matter how hard older men try to make the wrinkles disappear, the darn things keep showing up in the mirror.

There is a flip side to the equation, in that, younger women want mature men that are financially sound. that would be a good question to ask!

Jude's avatar

“There is a flip side to the equation, in that, younger women want mature men that are financially sound. that would be a good question to ask!”

That’s not always the reason why…

BoBo1946's avatar

@jjmah oh, there is always exceptions to the rule!

btw, what are you referring too?

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BoBo1946's avatar

@Aster i’m puzzled also. Did i say something wrong?

Aster's avatar

cute, @BoBo1946 . No; I was referring to @jjmah just as you were. (-;

BoBo1946's avatar

@Aster oh, i know…i’m puzzled by @jjmah‘s comment.

bob_'s avatar

Because they find them more attractive, or because they just happen to like them and don’t mind silly generalizations.

Jude's avatar

@bob_ I agree with the bad generalization. And, I said so up above.

and, I’m not making you a f*cking sandwich, so you can kiss my ass. :)

@Bobo, I know of a few gentlemen (late 50’s) who prefer to date much younger women. One is with one right now. And, these women have been abused (sexually, mentally) in the past. They’re looking for someone to “take care of them”. I was just wondering what was in it for the men.

Bad generalization, like I said.

Jude's avatar

Guys, I am a little jaded here. Nevermind.

bob_'s avatar

@jjmah In all fairness, generalizations exist for a reason. See here. Still, it’s different to use statistics than to judge people based on the actions of others.

And I didn’t ask for a sandwich, so you can kiss your own ass :P

Aster's avatar

Some “older” men, really terrific looking ones with great jobs, feel like they deserve someone young.
I knew a lady about 39 years old. She got engaged to a divorced man, very handsome and tall, in his early fifties. Just before they were to be married he had a heart attack in bed. She was devastated and really loved him.

Jude's avatar

@bob_ make me one and I’ll share. :)

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Jude's avatar

@BoBo1946 I said a few times (above) that I made a bad generalization. I admitted to it, and actually regretted posting the question.

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BarnacleBill's avatar

I don’t think there is one reason. I do know that I once worked on an aftershave ad campaign that we cited the demographics of the campaign to be 28 – 35 year old males. No matter what we did to the copy, ad images, media placement, the sales skewed 40–50 year old males. We did consumer research and found that men in the 40–50 year old bracket viewed themselves to be 10 years younger than their actual age, which accounted for being off target.

I think that older women can be somewhat bitter about their experiences with me their own age. Younger women have often not been disappointed in the same way, and are therefore more tolerant/forgiving because compared to men in their age bracket, older men seem to have a lot more to offer. Many older men don’t want to be reminded of their aging, or don’t want to face the same middle aged issues, so a younger woman is quite appealing.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

A friend of mine @LazyDaisy brushed over this subject on another forum a long time ago. We were both jibbing our other friend Svieks2U about this very subject.

Svieks said something to the effect of:
“Older guys can live out fantasies with hot younger girls that they couldn’t otherwise have attracted previously”

@LazyDaisy said:
“It would be like throwing raw meat to an old toothless lion. He couldn’t do anything with it”.

Svieks answered:
“Well, I suppose he could always lick the steak”.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

The older dating men I know tell me they’re not yet attracted to women their own age or older, I’m talking about men over 45yrs old. They aren’t ready to to accept their own wrinkles, loose skin, age spots, thinning hair, etc. much less look at a woman with any of those things and think she’s in their league. I think it takes awhile for the men not to be afraid of aging in order to be open to attraction from it.

Specifically they are interested in younger women because they feel the younger women are more open to sex, spontanaity as far as outings and comfortable looking “young” meaning they haven’t adopted the standard over 50 yrs old woman’s short haircut, Clark’s clogs & sandals, long hemmed dolman sleeved blouse over a baggy skirt or worse, leggings. The older men I know are very critical, very cruel and very afraid. This is why I date much younger men than me.

second_guessing's avatar

An ego rub, confirmation that they still have IT

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