Social Question

water_123's avatar

Whats your opinion on having a buddy?

Asked by water_123 (120points) August 24th, 2010

Im just curious to peoples thoughts on this topic, and buy buddy I mean sex buddy, has anyone ever had one, why did you?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

34 Answers

Blackberry's avatar

There’s nothing wrong with casual sex. Just make sure you both agree that is what it is for, and use prophylactics.

Jude's avatar

I don’t have a problem with it, as long as you’re safe.

Not something that I would be interested in.

NaturallyMe's avatar

Whatever relationships people willingly wish to get themselves into is their business. I’ve never heard of this term though – are you talking about something like a “friend with benefits”? Either way, people can agree to do whatever they want to IMO, as long as they’re not harming innocents in the process, haha.

I’ve never had such a friend and it’s not something that i would do either, i’m not one to have casual sex.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I have no problem with other people doing it, but it’s not for me. As long as the two people are up front and honest with each other about what they want, it could work for them.

Carly's avatar

Question for you: How can you have a sex buddy without somewhat falling for them?
Unless I had more than one friend-with-benefits, then this would be pretty hard not to do.

mrentropy's avatar

I’ve never had one. I’m taking applications, though.

BoBo1946's avatar

If two people agree on the relationship and it is open and honest, it would be their business.

Hawkeye's avatar

To tell someone ‘That’s a big 10–4 good buddy’

Blackberry's avatar

@Carly Many people aren’t capable of it, but some can have sex without emotional attachment. It’s kind of like just masturbating with another person lol: You both just want the sex and then to get on with your day.

Austinlad's avatar

You and I both, @mrentropy! Let’s get those applications comin’ in.

Cruiser's avatar

Could be a riot until feelings or expectations start to get in the way!

stardust's avatar

I’ve no problem with it, but it wouldn’t be for me. Feelings and sex go hand in hand for me so I’d end up getting hurt.

le_inferno's avatar

I think it’s a stupid idea… good in theory but is ultimately destined to fail. It’s easy for both parties to sit there beforehand and say, “Oh, it’s totally platonic! We’re just two people having a good time! No romance!” Unfortunately, our biology begs to differ. The hormones released during sex makes us feel bonded to our partner. Now, with a one night stand, it’s easy to have your fun and go your separate ways… but when it’s with a friend, who you already have a relationship with, who you are in contact with regularly… that’s just asking for trouble. The way I see it, sex/physical intimacy is what separates friends from lovers. When you cross those lines, you can say goodbye to being platonic.

Blackberry's avatar

@le_inferno I agree, most of the time one person will fall, but as long as the people break it off once that happens, the further heartbreak can be prevented.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I always preferred it to relationships. It always worked really well for me and the other person/people involved. Not so much anymore, obviously. :)

le_inferno's avatar

@Blackberry Well what’s the point of doing it at all if that’s going to happen? I think it makes much more sense to have better sex with someone who you actually love, than to have someone use you as a cum-dumpster and run for the hills as soon as emotions start coming into play. There’s something inherently demeaning about it, and I can’t understand why two intelligent individuals would agree to it.

bob_'s avatar

It doesn’t work. Didn’t you see Seinfeld?

le_inferno's avatar

@bob_ Lmao, I was thinking of just that! Forgot to mention it though.

bob_'s avatar

@le_inferno XD

Seinfeld discusses pretty much any social situation one can think of.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I agree that it is not the best choice for everyone. It may not work for many people. But I can say that, personally, I’ve seen it work.

KhiaKarma's avatar

Tried that with an ex, but I was deceiving myself- I was just holding onto the broken relationship. It was a fun outlet though….

Blackberry's avatar

@le_inferno Well, we don’t expect it to happen(the feelings), it just does. If the initial agreement is just for some fun sex, a way to release some tension and just have fun, then there’s nothing wrong with that, but feelings come out of nowhere, so it is best to handle it when and if it approaches. Some people don’t want to search forever (because of time, a job etc) for a compatible mate just so they have have sex as well.

Winters's avatar

I see that some of ya guys say that you’ve seen it work. However the only time I’ve ever seen it “work” was when it turned out the girl had sociopathic tendencies. Just saying.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@Winters I’m not a “guy”... and I certainly don’t have “sociopathic tendencies”, either.

I definitely agree that it doesn’t always work this way. Emotions aren’t usually the type of thing that we have much control over. I just don’t think it’s fair to assume that an arrangement like this couldn’t possibly work, because I know the opposite is true. Sometimes it works exactly the way it was intended.

Winters's avatar

@TheOnlyNeffie I wasn’t assuming that it can’t work, apparently some of ya’all have seen it work or have had it work for yourself. I was just saying that the only time I’ve seen it “work” was when she was a bit sociopathic. And I apologize if I did indeed offend you with the guy portion of my previous statement.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@Winters no no, not offended. I just wanted to be clear that I was saying that I’ve had it work for me… as a non-sociopathic woman. :) Sorry if I came off like I was offended. Not at all.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

I happen to be gay, and I live in a state in the US that has constitutionally outlawed same-sex marriage. I’m only allowed buddies. The majority of voters in my state have decided for me that I’m not allowed to think past the buddy stage.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

It’s not for me.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Nothing wrong with having a sex buddy and yes I’ve had ‘em.

Trillian's avatar

I’m not interested in that sort of thing. I feel spiritullly tied to a person with whom I have sex and it is never casual for me.
I suppose that if you both lay down ground rules and stick with them it should work. The problem that I forsee is that one or theother attaching more meaaning and emotion than the oher wants.
Good luck.

Frenchfry's avatar

I had one when I was single. It was fun.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

@Trillian -Exactly how I feel ;)

lonelydragon's avatar

I don’t have a problem with it, but make sure you are not emotionally attached to the other person. Otherwise, you will experience great heartbreak if s/he does not feel the same.

wilma's avatar

I couldn’t do it.
Just like what @Trillian said.

If it works for other people, I guess that’s OK, but not for me.

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