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Aethelwine's avatar

Why must so many people be rude to newbs that don't understand the concept of Fluther?

Asked by Aethelwine (42961points) August 24th, 2010

Why can’t we play along?

Or better yet, help them!?

Why be a dick?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

38 Answers

jerv's avatar

Humans are naturally rather cliquish.

While most of us can open n00bz with open arms and educate them in our ways, there will always be at least a few xenophobes who will be douche-waffles in order to maintain the status quo by driving the n00bz away.

bob_'s avatar

Well, if you don’t like it… ~


But yeah, what @jerv said.

wilma's avatar

Sadly, @jerv is probably right.

Jude's avatar

@jonsblond Where did you see it?

Aethelwine's avatar

@jjmah I’ve seen it many times unfortunately. :(

Randy's avatar

When I’m a dick, I don’t try to single out the new folks. I try to be a dick to everyone, equally.

AmWiser's avatar

I agree. I got my ass kicked when I first got here and it hurt. But I hang in here because I like it and I know people can be cruel. I could care less about the cliques, who like me or not, or who answers my questions.

Sarcasm's avatar

I think it’s because Jellies see Fluther as their sacred ground, and these new users who “do it wrong” are disrespecting and desecrating it.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I’m sorry. I try to be nice to everyone. I don’t get why anyone really sees the need to be rude to anyone, but it seems to happen everyday and not just to the new people. * sigh *

Aethelwine's avatar

I guess I try to be too nice. It gets me in trouble at times. I just don’t understand dickishness.

Did I just make a new word? Spell check doesn’t like dickishness. ;)

Aethelwine's avatar

@Randy is a dick I like.

wait….I don’t think my husband will appreciate that comment.

Randy's avatar

@jonsblond Hahaha! Probably not BUT I do have all his available podcasts downloaded in iTunes and when I’m home on Friday’s, I catch the show so maybe he won’t beat me too badly.


@Sarcasm Lol——“Their sacred ground” Great answer! ;)

kevbo's avatar

Actually, I think it mostly starts with the newbs getting prematurely defensive, which sort of sets things in motion.

But if you don’t know to listen and observe before you start blabbing to a new crowd, then maybe some corrective action is necessary.

Also, since we tend to be a sharper group (I think—haven’t comparison shopped in a while), newbs are more likely to commit offenses of obtuseness.

I think everyone here goes through a skin-thickening. I know I did.

Aethelwine's avatar

@kevbo I think everyone here goes through a skin-thickening. I know I did.

Very true. I do miss the good old days when we were accused of asking a question that was asked a month ago. Repeat questions are a dime a dozen these days.

kevbo's avatar

My favorites have always been the questions that people find offensive.

Skin thickening in action!!! Ah, memories.


Aethelwine's avatar

@kevbo lovely. I haven’t seen those. I’ll have to save those for the morning when my drink of choice is coffee, not wine. ;)

augustlan's avatar

@kevbo My eyes! My eyes! And just when I’d all but forgotten about him.

I really wish people would be nicer to the newbies. And the oldbies, too! Don’t make me ground you, people. >:/

Jude's avatar

Ooo, Auggie getting all authoritative. :D

Aethelwine's avatar

@augustlan You threatening to spank? you dirty girl

augustlan's avatar

I have a whip, and I’m not afraid to use it. :p

Your_Majesty's avatar

There are probably some hierarchy here.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Why? Because often we forget what it was like when we first joined Fluther, or stepped into a new job, or first became a parent, or had our first crush, or growing up in an evangelical Christian world with no outer exposure. We sometimes forget to look at their profile and see how long they have been on the site.

When I joined, it was because an internet search brought me here based upon one question. A tutorial on how to use the site would have been helpful. There are also opportunities for enhancing the guides that do exist. Until the format changes, it would be nice if those of us who have cracked the system shared tips in a PM vs. the “Duh” public postings. But let’s face it…it isn’t the nature to do so for everyone. In these cases, it would just be nice if they learned to refrain from the belittling comments.

sccrowell's avatar

@jonsblond I just want to say, I really really like your new word “dickishness” and I will probably use it on WTF. I hope I never behave dickishnessly.

second_guessing's avatar

Luckily i haven’t experience this at all in the last week. Either that or i am just thick skinned!

cookieman's avatar

@second_guessing: Nice use of bold. And hey, welcome to Fluther.

:: not being dickish ::

second_guessing's avatar

@cprevite You mean use don’t you…haha just don’t ask me to put a link in a comment just yet!

cookieman's avatar

yup…caught that.

cookieman's avatar

yup…caught that too.

JilltheTooth's avatar

Gee, I’ve been treated really well, here. Maybe people just don’t want to piss off my mod daughter ;-)

ucme's avatar

Dicks & Dickettes, more or less sums it up I reckon :¬)

rebbel's avatar

It is childish, rude and unwelcoming and i am a very sensitive Jelly, if it happens, i notice it right away and feel very sorry for the noob but to be honest, i don’t see it happen so much here.
Or maybe it happens only when Dutch Jellies lay themselves to sleep?

Jabe73's avatar

I do not see it on here as much as other Q & A sites (which can get very nasty). The only time I usually notice any type of rudeness is usually during theist/atheist debates. Even with that one however it is not as bad as I’ve seen on other sites.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

I give wedgies to people being rude to noobs.

MissAnthrope's avatar

My observation, wearing my civilian hat… I’d say 99% of the time I’ve seen it happen, the n00b in question has brought it on themself by being hard-headed, ignoring advice on how we like to play here, getting snarky, defensive, etc. So, most of the time, I see it coming because there’s a whole pattern of behavior first. I think we have a fairly nice, patient community, so on Fluther, as I would expect in life, I think it’s only natural that if someone persists in being difficult or an ass, they’re eventually going to wear thin on people’s patience.

I haven’t noticed many instances of jellies being rude to a new person for no reason whatsoever.

Paradox's avatar

Cliques. Motivation to adhere with a clique. I think there are times when it’s perfectly justifiable for a “newbe” to stand up to many others on here. I believe a lack of willingness to “go with the flow” has alot to do with this. Fluther is just a simple Q&A website nothing more, nothing less. Being a member of Fluther does not make one a better person than somebody else.

AshlynM's avatar

I’m fairly new here, been here for over a year.

Mostly, everyone on here has been very nice to me, I haven’t noticed too much rudeness going on, except for the few snarky comments here and there. Fluther is mild compared to some other sites, such as Youtube and Yahoo Answers. When you join those sites, you’re basically being thrown in the lion’s den. I joined Fluther specifically because I thought there was a more mature and friendlier group of people and that I could actually talk to some of the users through pm and get help/advice, which I have. If someone is rude to me, I don’t take it personally. I keep reminding myself they don’t know me and can’t see me so it really doesn’t matter. The only time I bite back is if someone calls me names or calls me something I’m not.

I think some people get caught up in their discussions and tend to forget who their talking to. They probably don’t mean to be rude or mean, that’s just how their comments come across. Online you can’t sometimes tell whether people are being rude or funny. I always try to be nice everyone, no matter what.

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