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Jude's avatar

Are you the opposite of your SO? You're outspoken and your SO, not so much? You're high energy? They're more laid back?

Asked by Jude (32112points) August 25th, 2010

With my girlfriend and I, I’m definitely more high energy. I get bored with the same and can’t stand sitting around doing nothing. She is adventurous like me, but, is a hell of a lot more laid back. We compliment each other nicely. She calms me down and I get her excited about things.

I’m definitely more outgoing. I need interaction with others. Not all of the time. I do like my alone time. She on the other hand has no problem with spending lots of time alone (or with me).

I’m more outspoken. She again, is laid back and is more of a listener. She loves it when I take charge (when dealing with people) when we’re out and about. Apparently, it’s a turn-on, lol.

I am more dominant when it comes to sex. She is quite submissive. It really works for us (we prefer it that way). It’s actually wonderful.

We both love art, music, literature, family is important, and we get each other. We both knew it, when we first met each other that “this person is going to be the one.

So, how is it for you?

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36 Answers

janbb's avatar

Yup, yup on both examples. He is much more reserved and restrained than I.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

We’re the same way – I’m much louder, more emotional, more expressive and more outgoing. He’s more practical, calmer, smarter and muuuuuch more patient than I am.

Cruiser's avatar

No strangely we are both head strong and both always right but she has a sneaky right hook and not afraid to hit below the belt!

CrazyRedHead's avatar

With my boyfriend and I there are definitely things we’re opposite on. I can definitely be more high energy..more of the time, and he’s laid back more of the time. He’s very logical and organized…I’m on the otherhand very emotional and messy lol As well, I guess the thing that describes our differences most are you get into his car and you’ll hear either Dirks Bentley (country singer) or Pop Evil (alternative rock) on the radio, and you hop in my car and you’ll hear either Eminem (rapper) or Dave Matthews Band (more folk Rock). I think our differences are what make us work and I love every bit of him that is the complete opposite of me! We share the same beliefs and we understand each other, he’s my best friend and we knew very quickly that this was IT. I’m so happy to have found him and to be able to share my life with him =]

bob_'s avatar

I plan things obsessively. She’s more of a go-with-the-flow kind of person.

Aster's avatar

He is more laid back & restrained ; I am more expressive, vocal.
He doesnt “get” why I am cracking up a lot. He rarely laughs.
He and I are both “into” UFO’s equally.
He likes to make new friends, mildly. I’m fine with friends from my hometown.
He is less religious. I explore.
Neither has what I would ever term “a temper.”
Neither of us is high energy. lol

DominicX's avatar

Some of our traits are opposites, but for the most part, we’re very similar, even in appearance (as some people would say, I don’t necessarily agree with that). He is definitely more shy and less outgoing than I am. He’s quieter and more artistic. I’d say he’s probably more laid back than I am. But that’s about it. Otherwise, we share many of the same traits.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

We are alot alike ;)

TexasDude's avatar

We both have similar interests, though she is more solitary and I am more group-oriented.

I also like “alone time” much more than she does, and I’m also lazy compared to her. We work out wonderfully, though.

Jude's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I didn’t know that there was a new hunny. Very happy for you. :)

Seaofclouds's avatar

We have a lot of similarities, but there are a few things we are opposite on (which is great because we balance each other out).

He’s more of a saver than I am. So he focuses on saving for things and I make sure we are still enjoying ourselves in the process.

I’m extremely emotion and he stays calm, so he helps calm me down when I start to get too emotional.

BoBo1946's avatar

I’m more laid back than her. She really gets upset about traffic, work, etc. That worries me about a long term relationship. If it was occasionally, no big deal, but it’s often.

TexasDude's avatar

@jjmah, thanks darlin. It’s not advertised to everyone on facebook yet, but it’s there :-D

janbb's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Those of us who were avidly following the dating question got the inside dope!

Jude's avatar

@janbb well, crap, I was. I usually only follow questions for a short while (including my own), so, I missed out on the discussion. Boo.

janbb's avatar

@jjmah Patience, my dear girl, is a virtue. That was one of the best recent threads.

TexasDude's avatar

@janbb, I appreciate your interest!

@jjmah, it’s okay, you know now!

MissAusten's avatar

Yes, in a lot of ways my husband and I are opposites. He is much more high-energy than I am, a better “people person,” and more outgoing and outspoken. I am more reserved and very non-confrontational. I’m an introvert who has learned to act like an extrovert. I like to be outdoors, whereas he is not fond of nature! He’s organized, I’m certainly not. He has more of a temper, while I have more patience and tend to just go with the flow. We complement each other nicely!

What makes it all work, I believe, are the common goals in life we share. We both want the same thing for our family and have the same priorities.

Aster's avatar

@BoBo1946 You mean she’s irrational if the cars are too slow or the light doesn’t turn green fast enough? Pretty masculine, isn’t it?
Mine is like that. “Longest light I’ve ever seen.” Me: “SO what? God you’re impatient.”
Him: “there’s some SLOW POKE up there.” Me: “are we in a big hurry for some reason? Do you have an appointment?”

free_fallin's avatar

With my ex, I was more introverted than he. He was extroverted but uptight at the same time. It made for a bad combination when drinking in bars.

stranger_in_a_strange_land's avatar

In many ways we are similar, both essentially loners who need only one close relationship. By training, I can assume the role of a take-charge alpha male, but prefer not to; reluctant warrior I guess. She is intellectually gifted but easily discouraged and frightened; in a safe, nurturing environment J opens up like a beautiful flower. I’m also hesitantly dominant sexually; J encourages me to be more forceful, I worry about causing her any emotional trauma. We’re both self-critical perfectionists; I tend to drive myself hard while J requires gentle encouragement to make and pursue goals. I think we’re a good fit, being the protector and “wind beneath her wings” seems to be my role in life. I was happily able to do that for Meg; J needs the same and came into my life like a ray of sunlight into the deep, dark well of my depression. We need each other.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Wishing you all the joy in the world with your lady. :^)

Austinlad's avatar

My SO is my other self, and we’re different in all ways. I’m calm; he goes around a nervous wreck. I’m a geezer; he’s a kid. I’m introverted; he’s a party guy. He’s open to new adventures; I like staying at home. I’m attracted to women around my own age; he prefers young hotties. I like to save; he likes to spend.

We do have one thing in common: we both like to post comments on Fluther.

BoBo1946's avatar

@Aster little more than that.

perspicacious's avatar

We are complete opposites with regard to politics and Faith. It’s not a problem. We talk about those things some, but never argue.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I worry about everything and he is totally chilled out about everything.

Aster's avatar

@BoBo1946 More?? PM me. Perfection doesn’t exist !

pearls's avatar

When I was married, I was very laid back and my ex was very very high strung. @BoBo1946 I’m with Aster on this. Perfection does not exist and if that is what you are looking for, then maybe you need to let her go or clue her in on your feelings. We all have certain things about us that may get under each other’s skin. I know I’m not perfect and I certainly don’t expect anyone else to be.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

No, not opposites but comfortably similar in the ways we each believe matter most. He presents more laid back because he internalizes and I am sick of internalizing so we’re a evolving partnership which we are both thankful to each other for.

Aster's avatar

@pearls Not only does perfection not exist, Near perfection doesn’t either. At 19 I was looking for it and thought I had found it.
LOL ! People learn to live with flaws in their s/o, hopefully, and concentrate on the positive features. As you would with a good friend. However, if there is something they can’t stand about the person it’ll be much more unbearable after marriage. I think we’re on our best behavior when dating.

FireMadeFlesh's avatar

No, my girlfriend and I are so similar that there have been times when we just give up talking because we are already thinking the same thing. She is probably a bit more outgoing, and I am probably a little more confident, but we are similar in most ways.

pearls's avatar

@Aster I totally agree.

CrazyRedHead's avatar

@DominicX People say my boyfriend and I look similar too, but I truly just think its just because we’re both redheads lol

chelle21689's avatar

Yes…my boyfriend is like a dog: playful, energetic, loves being around people, adventerous. I’m like a cat: reserved, laid-back, more of a stay home kind pf person, etc.

I have my times when I’m wierd, silly, and crazy but for the most part we’re different =\

We do have a lot in common in interests but I don’t know if it’s because we been together for so long. We like a lot of the same movies, music, food, we have a lot of the same views on morals, etc.

OpryLeigh's avatar

@CrazyRedHead I read somewhere that we tend to feel attracted to people that have similar features to ourselves. I don’t know how true that is but it’s interesting.

CrazyRedHead's avatar

@Leanne1986 Yeah I’ve heard that too, I guess its just because I think I’m so awesome ahahah (not so much lol)

downtide's avatar

In some ways we’re different; I’m more extrovert, more energetic, more inclined to want to go to pubs and clubs. We have our own hobbies and interests that we don’t share with each other so we regularly go off to do our own thing. But in many other ways we’re the same – we’re both science-fiction/fantasy geeks, we both love travel, good food, we like the same sort of movies (but we have very different tastes in music) and we’re both history buffs.

Physically we’re not much alike – we’re about the same height but he’s about seventy pounds heavier than me.

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