Social Question

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

What is your take on the male virgin myth?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26829points) August 27th, 2010

Is the virgin male myth true? It is made to seem that if a woman knows a guy has never had sex they get interested even if he looks more like Barney Fife than Zack Efron. The thought of being “the 1st.” to take him to the “sugar walls” of joy somehow is enough to overcome her lack of physical attraction at least in the short term, so is it that the myth is not a myth and has more truth in it than not?

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32 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I think it works that way for all genders. There are people out there (myself included) who get off on the fact that a person is a virgin and that we can show ‘em a hell of a time upon seduction.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I think there are some people in both genders that like the idea of being someone’s first. For me personally, I hated it. One guy I dated was a virgin. Every time things would start getting heavy, I would be the one asking him if he was sure and all that. It ended up ruining the mood several times before we finally got to the point that we did it. Afterwards, I was worried he would regret it or something for a while. He never did regret it (at least that he told me) and he was one of the few guys I was able to remain friends with after we broke up. If it weren’t for the relationship we had, it would have never happened.

muppetish's avatar

Don Knotts was adorable. Especially as Fife.

I don’t understand why you have limited this to “virgin males”. I also don’t think it is necessarily related to “overcoming a lack of physical attraction.”

Randy's avatar

Those females weren’t out there back when I was a virgin, that’s for sure!

LuckyGuy's avatar

Clearly my first was not looking for one. She said, “Wow, you really are a virgin!”

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@muppetish Guys are too easy, everyone wants to be the 1st if not for bragging rights alone. However I never knew a guy who wanted to pop a virgin just because she was a virgin if she looked like Rosie O’Donnel or Delta Burke….......

muppetish's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central “Guys are too easy”? Thanks for that. Leaving this conversation now.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I think @Simone_De_Beauvoir hit the nail on the head. There will always be someone out there that finds something appealing, whatever it may be.

I have been with one, err, inexperienced man. He was attractive, so I can’t answer the part about overcoming looks. It ended up being a fantastic experience. Of course it took him a little bit of time to get into the swing of things, so to speak, but ultimately it was perfect in the end. Everything he knew was what he had learned from me, so I had no complaints. I guess there is that aspect to the appeal.

marinelife's avatar

I never think about whether a guy is a virgin.

CMaz's avatar

Virgin’s are great in High School. Who knows better?

Later in life. I prefer a broken in model.

I think once a man jerks off, he is no longer a virgin.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

My first time was with a virgin (awful experience) but I’ve never sought any out since then, it never appealed to me to be anyone’s “teacher”.

JLeslie's avatar

When I was young I could care less if someone was a virgin or not. Now that I am 42 it would completely freak me out if a man I was interested in was a virgin. I would not get more interested. I am shocked any women are interested in being the first in terms of conquering, I could see if it matter to someone that they are both virgins until marriage. It seems it would be a power thing to me, not to be confused with be controlling, but the person who takes away somas virginity, might feel more powerful or have a great feeling of seduction, or that they are special because someone was willing to let them be their first. I never considered it for myself.

Cruiser's avatar

@ChazMaz I would argue that point unless that must mean you have really really soft hands!

RomanExpert's avatar

I say outside of being someone’s first, it’s not much of an attraction for a woman. I believe women are attracted to masculinity, and it’s not masculine to be a virgin!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@JLeslie To me, it’s about none of those things – just about opening up a world of sensations for someone who’s never been there before.

ucme's avatar

I’m a giver not a taker!

JLeslie's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I accept that, but it still puts you in the position of being the one who did it, showed that person the world of sensation, which must be a kick.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@JLeslie Yes, that’s the kick.

jca's avatar

i like a guy that knows what he’s doing, and can show me who is the boss! not a guy that i have to teach what to do!!

Scooby's avatar

It’s true!....

aprilsimnel's avatar

I’ve never heard of such a thing. My understanding is if it’s general knowledge that someone is still the Big V past age 21, people wonder what’s wrong with them.

TexasDude's avatar

I was a virgin up until very recently. A lot of girls I know actually fetishized that fact and it kind of made me uncomfortable. I was extremely self conscious about the whole thing, and there were several girls who showed me constant attention explicitly (and very openly) because they wanted to “deflower” me.

marinelife's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Euuwww! (I would think that would be a turnoff.)

TexasDude's avatar

@marinelife, I’ve always heard the total opposite. It freaked me the hell out, that’s for sure.

marinelife's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I meant a turnoff to you to be chased just for your virginity.

TexasDude's avatar

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard, yeah, it kind of was. At first it was kind of novel, especially the shock people would express when they found out about it. I know what women mean when they say they feel “objectified” now… to an extent, at least.

le_inferno's avatar

You’ll hear it both ways… I know guys who were very attracted to the fact that I was a virgin, eager to “show me the ropes” and convinced they’d blow my mind (wonder how much walk was behind the talk). Those were just guys who talked about it. When it came to guys I actually hooked up with, they wouldn’t have had sex with me even if I wanted to. They felt that taking a girl’s virginity was too deep for a one-time hook up, and I’m sure they worried about me getting attached and such. There was one guy who didn’t care. He was all, “Oh, it’s not a big deal, really. Come on, it’s college” He was a creep. Byyyye.

zzc's avatar

@seaofclouds, I was the first, for a man in his 30’s, a couple of years younger than myself. I didn’t like being the teacher and feeling very responsible, because I had experience. He thought he loved me after that. I felt bad, because I could see that he was mistaking sexual infatuation, for a deep abiding love. I really liked him, we really got along as friends, but we were very different. Two nice people, but not a good match for a marriage. I told him that, and that he deserved to find someone who was that good match. He couldn’t see it, although he was conservative and country and I was opposite, to name just a couple of the differences. I was the one who regretted it.

NaturallyMe's avatar

Ew, no. (not for me anyway). An unattractive (relatively speaking) virgin will be as undesirable to me as any other unattractive person.

Steve_A's avatar

Well I’d say it is BS I ain’t got a flock of women all over me because I’m a virgin.

Than again I don’t openly tell people or women. Also I am introverted enough as it is, so maybe I am not the guy to answer this question.

CMaz's avatar

It’s a dessert topping and a floor wax.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Steve_A Go to a bar or wherever and chat up a gal that doesn’t seem too interested then let it slip out that you are a virgin I bet she will all of a sudden see you with more interest.

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