General Question

Moxy's avatar

How do I get rid of a bully?

Asked by Moxy (182points) August 30th, 2010

There is his boy about 9 years old and I am 25 who keeps bullying me and my dogs and my mum. Please help.

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18 Answers

Odysseus's avatar

I feel as though I could give you some good advice here as I’ve overcome many forms of bullying but there are not enough details to give a good answer .
What I can offer at this point is… Don’t give them a reaction to the bully attempts, dont reward them with anger /sorrow/embarrassment etc, that’s why they do it… for the reaction !

But the difficult part in explaining this technique of ignoring them is that by deliberately ignoring them you are still in effect giving them a reaction, TRY HARD to find NEUTRAL! (nonplussed) wryly don’t give a damn. Give them nothing but a vague acknowledgement, they will get bored in time and move on. x

(depending on the circumstances, laughing at them or with them quickly becomes a bore to the bully too) Just realise that they do it for the entertainment, take the edge from their fun

augustlan's avatar

He’s 9. Talk to his parents about his behavior.

MissA's avatar

Explain how he bullies…is he a neighbor…details.

Ben_Dover's avatar

Nothing you can do about a child of nine except to talk to his parents…or call in child services..
Whatever you do, don’t try reasoning with a nine-year-old, nor attempt role reversal.

Nullo's avatar

Role reversal. Ask him how he would feel if you were to throw rocks (?) at him.

Response moderated (Unhelpful)
ZEPHYRA's avatar

Ignoring him is something that has worked for many people.

CMaz's avatar

Blast him with the garden hose. Every time he comes around.

daytonamisticrip's avatar

@Odysseus That is a very good tip but ignoring a bully can often make them want to bully you more. You see they feast on your negative feelings and if you don’t give them that they want it more. So it then becomes like a challenge or test for them. They don’t want to lose their pride so they’ll keep trying to upset you until they do.
I suggest the point system. Anytime he behaves he gets points which leads to prizes. Anytime he misbehaves he loses points.

plethora's avatar

Interesting that you choose the term “bully”. For 9 year old child vs a 25 year old adult? His behavior may be outrageous, but he is not bullying unless you perceive yourself as his inferior. Do not deal with the child. Deal with his parent(s). Dealing with the child may very well get you in trouble with the parents. I would first suggest an attitude change on your part. Don’t whine to the parents about his “bullying”. Talk to his parent as one adult to another about their child’s behavior in your presence. Depending on the result you get from the parents will determine your next step.

phoebusg's avatar

I agree with some of the above saying you should talk to the parents. As far as the child, ignore the behavior – and show that. There’s nothing that can prune a behavior like no evidence of an effect. If you show that you’re bothered, he got what he wanted. If he doesn’t get what he wanted and only cost (parent trouble) – behavior is more likely to cease.

When and if he is quiet/friendly etc, reward him with attention. Positive reinforcement works better than negative (parents punishing him). In other words, reward all but undesired behavior. DR0.

Seaofclouds's avatar

I agree that the first thing you need to do is talk to the parents. It’s really hard to give more advice without knowing what exactly he is doing to bully you. Depending on what he is doing, you may be able to talk to the police (if his parents aren’t doing anything to stop it). I know calling the police sounds harsh, but if he is mistreating your dog or destroying your property, getting the police involved may be enough to make his parents finally step up.

srtlhill's avatar

Do kids still like candy.
Pay this forward with candy.
I’d buy a Hugh bag and start giving it to him when he acts correctly to me.
If he’s nasty eat said candy in front of him.
Repeat often. Good luck
Pick candy you like.

RomanExpert's avatar

Ignore him and talk to the parents but they’re probably more ignorant than him, that’s why he’s the way he is.


Blindfold the little brat on a road, take the cover off a man-hole, and tell him to walk towards it. When he falls in, calmly replace the lid and walk away with a big smile on your face. Lol.

Seriously, have a frank talk with the brat’s parents and tell them that you do not want the stupid kid around your house anymore. If they don’t listen, then you can take it one step further and call the authorities to talk to the parents.

Response moderated (Off-Topic)
Nicole8's avatar

Bullies would keep on bullying you until you show them what you are made of, simply show them whose the boss you could do this without hitting or hurting anyone.

Another rule of acting near bullies, is once they start they would continue if you showed sadness or lack of confidence thier whole point is to humilate you and make you feel bad. So, show them that you don’t care.

Bullies might start causing you physical damage so just ignore and act they are not there.

If (to the bullies) hitting won’t work they would immediately start to spread rumors that you are 100% sure you didn’t do so as a cure start making things up tooo !

Bullies might have a troop with them that causes you as much damage so just get a troop of your own. Bullies are less likely to mess up with several kids.

kaitlyn's avatar

If they physically hurt you… beat the crap out of them.

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